Take Me Home Tonight
by MadameMayorRM
Summary: AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she's a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: I don't own anything that looks like Once Upon a Time or its characters. I'm just borrowing them._**

 ** _This is a new story. I know. I should be working on my WIPs. I will. Don't worry. This is inspired by a not very good 80s movie. I won't reveal the title until later. I hope you enjoy it._**

 ** _Thanks as always to Jenn who reads everything I write and acts like it is amazeballs even if it isn't. You're my favorite._**

* * *

 _Has it been three months already?_

Emma Swan lay on her side, knees curled toward her chest, facing the block wall. Even in the darkness she could make out the poster of her favorite band, the affirming quotes and sticky notes. The night-light used by her roommate was brighter than the other girl realized. It didn't usually keep Emma awake, but tonight she was restless.

 _Three months. Three whole months._

It wasn't like she could complain. Foxhaven Academy was the finest all-girls boarding school on the east coast. It was a miracle she was even here to begin with. Abandoned, unwanted foster kid… frequent delinquent and runaway… she didn't exactly match up to the trust-fund babies and nouveau riche girls that populated the ivy covered buildings on campus. But, after her last stint living on the streets had ended with her being placed in the first nice home she'd ever had, things had changed.

Living with the Hamilton family had changed her. She had stopped running and really started applying herself in school. Before long, she had been offered a spot at Foxhaven and a scholarship because of her unique circumstances. She would never— _never—_ have accepted and moved here, away from her new family, if it hadn't been for what happened last March.

 _Don't start thinking about that now. You'll never get to sleep._

Emma shook herself and rolled over onto her back. Turning her head she saw her roommate, Mary Margaret Blanchard, sleeping soundly. The girl was sweet. In fact, she had been one of the first people Emma had met when her cab dropped her off at the entrance to Foxhaven. It was unusual for a girl to begin attending school there during her senior year. It was even more unusual for her to be nearing her twentieth birthday. Yet, when Mare had met her at the foreboding stone entryway and led her to the registrar's office to get all her final paperwork settled, she hadn't mentioned the unique situation. She had only been kind.

 _"I'm so glad to finally have a new roommate!" The pixie haired brunette nearly squealed as they climbed the stone steps of the dorm. "Ever since Ashley found herself… in the family way and had to leave school, I've been alone."_

 _"She got kicked out for getting knocked up?" Emma tucked a wayward blonde lock behind her ear and adjusted her dark rimmed glasses. She seldom wore them but she'd been in a rush this morning. She regretted the choice immediately when they snapped her student ID photo._

 _"Well, the official story is she moved to Europe to stay with family for the summer and decided not to come back to school, but… well… I know better. She and Sean got married not long after she left and his father bought them a house in Concord. Close enough to visit but far enough away so people might not realize their daughter is a bit too old. But, I shouldn't gossip about her. She was a great friend to me." Mary Margaret stopped in front of room 710 and smiled. "And I get the feeling you and I will be great friends too, Emma. This is our room."_

And Mare (as Emma had taken to calling her) had become a good friend to her over the weeks and months since she arrived. In fact, they had become almost inseparable. Emma hadn't given the other girl too much personal information just yet. She preferred not telling the world about her foster life. And despite the sweet intentions of Mary Margaret Blanchard… the girl couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

It wasn't like she told things to be cruel. She wasn't just being a gossip for gossip's sake. No. She just let things slip. Emma had learned from the beginning and her story about Ashley. She'd made a mental note not to share too much with the girl.

Mary Margaret however was very forthcoming with talk of her personal life and Emma always listened. She was head over heels in love with a boy from town, David Nolan. She was sure her father wouldn't approve so she hadn't told her family about him yet. Her dad, Leo Blanchard, was from old money and her mother, Eva had also been rich on her own standing even before marrying into the Blanchard wealth. When her mom passed away suddenly several years ago, Mr. Blanchard had showered his daughter with everything money could buy. It was his way of grieving perhaps. Emma hadn't really been clear on that point yet. But, either way, Mare was a little spoiled as a result. She had what she wanted, when she wanted and she wasn't ready to give that up. Not even for David. So they met in secret and made plans for how he could better himself and impress her father.

For three months, Emma had been working hard, making good grades and trying to fit in. Mostly she tried not to let people know her past. They wouldn't look at her the same if they knew she was left on the side of the road by her parents. They wouldn't look at her the same if they knew she had been in jail for shoplifting. They wouldn't accept her if they knew… if they knew…

Emma huffed and turned back to the wall. That was why she couldn't sleep tonight. All the girls on her floor had been talking about their fall break plans and the Harvest Moon Dance that would happen the night before they all went on trips and cruises and spiritual sabbaticals. That chatter had quickly devolved into what Emma could only describe as the female version of locker room talk.

The longer they talked, the later it got, the more Emma wanted to disappear. They spoke about the boys they had dated and soon enough they began sharing intimate details about their first sexual experiences, their most memorable encounters, their most embarrassing memories sneaking across the lake to Hargrave School—the all-male equivalent to Foxhaven.

Emma had tried to fade into the background. She didn't want to have this discussion. But before she knew it, Ruby Lucas locked eyes on her. Ruby was nice enough, she and Emma got along fine, but of all the girls in this very personal chat, Ruby had the most stories to tell. Some seemed unlikely, others downright impossible, but no one questioned Ruby on the veracity of her tales. She had come home with more hickey's and love bites than the rest of them combined. But when her eyes settled on Emma, the blonde had wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.

 _"You're awfully quiet, Emma. Don't you have something to share?" White teeth had sparkled in a predatory smile._

 _"Uh, no… not really." Green eyes had looked at the wall, the ceiling, the hem of her own shirt. Anywhere but at Ruby._

 _"Come on, Em. It's ok. Tell us. Who was your first?" Mare had reached out a soothing hand and squeezed Emma's wrist._

 _Emma felt the heat of embarrassment rising across her chest. She didn't need a mirror to know her porcelain white skin was burning bright red. Her eyes widened in horror. Everyone in the group was looking at her expectantly._

 _"I… Um… I…" Emma stammered and stuttered, trying to think of something to say._

 _"Oh. My. God." Ruby said, latching on to something in green eyes Emma hadn't meant to give away. "You're a virgin, aren't you?"_

Emma rubbed her hand down her face, remembering the way all the girls had looked at her. There was nothing wrong with being a virgin. That's what they had said. A couple had even come to her later and admitted they were virgins too. But Emma was so much older than them all. She was behind in school from missing so many classes as a runaway and even now at nineteen (nearly twenty) she was just a senior in high school. Most of these girls, including Ruby and Mare, weren't even eighteen yet. So, their understanding and in some cases pity was gnawing at her gut. She didn't want pity.

Mare had whispered to her in the dark that Ruby meant no harm and that lots of girls in the school were late bloomers, whatever that meant. Emma had feigned sleep to end that chat. The fact was, Emma wasn't a virgin because no boys had tried to go further with her. It was because she wasn't interested in boys. And that was one secret she couldn't afford to have getting out.

 _God, if they knew I was gay…_

~ (SQ) ~

"So, the Harvest Moon Dance is tomorrow night, Emma. Are you still not going?" Mary Margaret held her books close to her chest as the two girls climbed the steps to their room after classes had ended for the day.

Emma had been studying all week with every free moment for an English exam that she was sure now she had aced. With that load off her mind, she felt free. She had decided not to attend the dance on Saturday night and had made up her mind to begin her fall break by eating a pizza and staying in her pajamas. In fact, her plans for the entire next week included laying around the dorm and watching black and white movies. There were three other girls in their dorm remaining on campus for the break so she didn't feel as bad for having no place to go. But the dance… she was not going to the dance.

"No. I'm just not big on that sort of thing. But I know you will have fun. Is David coming?" Emma flipped on the overhead light in their room and dropped her books on her desk. Toeing out of her shoes, she laid on her stomach and smiled up at Mare who was nervously smoothing her skirt and keeping one eye on the door.

"Yes! Of course. I wouldn't want to dance with anyone else. So… no chance of talking you into going to the dance… or coming home with me next week? My father has a trip all planned. He and I will be visiting some family in Maine, but I'd love for you to join us." Emma watched curiously as the brunette inched toward their door and peered up and down the hall as she spoke.

Emma frowned as she answered her. "No. I appreciate the offer but… uh, I just… Hey. What are you looking for?"

"Hmm?" Mary Margaret turned to her suddenly. "What?"

"I said what are you looking for? Is something wrong?" Emma sat up now and eyed her friend warily.

"No, nothing wrong at all." Mare sat on her own bed but kept stealing glances toward the entrance. "Em…" she began softly, "Let's go down to the common room and watch TV."

Emma frowned again. Mare never wanted to watch TV, especially not in the common room. She had a TV on her dresser. "Mare. What is going on?"

Before the brunette could respond five girls piled in through the open door with Ruby Lucas at the front. "Hey, bitches! I've got the best idea and I will not take no for an answer."

Her large hazel eyes fell on Emma and again she felt the weight of her predatory gaze.

"Ruby, I don't think—" Mary Margaret tried to interrupt.

"Shut it, M&M. We have all talked about this and we are doing it." Ruby smiled wickedly at her friend. The other girls around her nodded in agreement.

"What in the world are you guys talking about? What's up?" Emma felt a slight uneasiness in her stomach as all eyes fell on her.

"What's up is we have decided to get you laid!" Ruby laughed out and the other girls chimed in. Emma was dumbstruck.

"Get me… what now?"

"Laid. I've been thinking about you being a virgin and it doesn't sit right with me. You are gorgeous. You are smart. You need the 'd', Emma." The girl smiled and stepped directly in front of Emma.

Emma's heart began to race. She did not in fact need or want the 'd'. But she couldn't tell them that. They wouldn't understand.

"Ruby! You can't just pimp her out—" Again Mary Margaret tried to intervene while Emma remained overwhelmed and silent.

"I'm not pimping her out, M. I just… I want to help her out. And since she isn't going to the dance _or_ on a trip next week… well, here." Ruby extended a small brown envelope to Emma.

"What's… what's this?" Emma finally found her voice.

"Open it." Ruby's voice carried the unspoken 'duh' and she sat gingerly beside the blonde.

Emma's fingers nimbly opened the seal and she shook loose the contents of the package. Her eyes went wide and she looked between Mare and Ruby, astonished.

" _That_ is enough cash pulled together from all the girls to fund one hellavu fun week for you. And _that—"_ Ruby indicated a small card "—that is a fake ID. It is the best I could get on short notice but it should get you into any club you want. I made you a reservation at the Marquis—"

Emma interrupted her. "The Marquis? As in the Marquis Hotel in Boston? I'm not driving into the city. I appreciate all you guys but—"

Emma felt Ruby's finger press against her lip. "Nope. We will not take no for an answer. You have done nothing but study and work and play nice since you got her, Emma. We want you to relax, let your hair down and have a little fun over break. So… you take this money that we all hate for our daddies to part with and that ID and go into the city and have a little fun. And… if you happen to meet a nice guy and turn in your V-card… well, all the better. But you are going."

Emma was stunned. She didn't know what to say. On one hand she was mildly offended by these girls and their presumptuous behavior. But on the other hand she was touched that they had done this for her, no matter how weird it was.

"You don't have to listen to them, Em. If you don't want to go—"

Emma smiled at Mare and was shocked by her own words. "No. I think I will go. Even if all I do is lay around the hotel room and eat room service at least it will be a change of scenery. And who knows," Emma decided to put her hetero story on thick now, "maybe I will meet some nice boy and… what was it you said, Rubes? Get laid?"

 _No harm in going to the city on some rich girl's dime, Swan._

~ (SQ) ~

Emma sat on the plush sofa looking out the large window at the twinkling lights of the city. When Ruby said she got her a room at the Marquis she had no idea Ruby meant a room like this. With an expansive sitting area and bar, a kitchenette and separate bedroom, she felt like she was in the literal lap of luxury. Nothing in her life had ever been as nice as this.

There hadn't been even a hint from the man at the front desk or the bellman who carried her bags that she didn't belong here. This must be what money got you. No one had even asked to see her fake ID once she mentioned Ruby's name. It was like magic.

Ruby had been just eight months old when her parents had died tragically on a trip to Costa Rica. It had been a freak accident on a guided tour but it had left Ruby an orphan. Her grandmother had raised her but it hadn't been a sad story altogether. Her grandmother was Eugenia Lucas, owner of Granny's, a national chain of trendy diners that wannabe hipsters were flocking to in droves. And if that wealth and name recognition wasn't enough for dear, sweet Ruby, her father had been a real life wolf of Wall Street before his passing and left more money to Ruby than she could spend in a lifetime. She was just waiting for her eighteenth birthday so she could get her hands on it without having everything funneled through her grandmother and their money manager.

Emma stretched out flat of her back on the sofa. She had never dreamed she would ever be in a place like this. But now that she was here… she was bored. She flipped through the magazines on the coffee table and through all 837 channels on the widescreen TV. She had looked through every cabinet and closet and smelled all the soaps, lotions and hair products in the bathroom. She had even considered cracking open a very expensive bag of cashews in the mini bar but decided against it.

Staring up at the ceiling, she wondered if Ruby and Lily and the other girls who had helped fund this little trip would want the money back that she didn't spend. Probably not. Money meant nothing to them. Emma felt a pang of jealousy. Money didn't mean anything when you had plenty. But she had never had any. Sitting up, she decided she was going to spend every last cent the girls had given her, even if she had to give it away. And the first thing she was going to do was put on the black dress Lily had loaned her and go out to a club with her fake ID and pocket full of cash.

~ (SQ) ~

"Everyone is waiting to see Diamond. Have you seen her show before?" A tall, thin African American man asked as he rifled through his purse searching for something. Emma couldn't guess what.

After changing into the almost too tight black dress and touching up her hair and make-up, Emma had pulled out her phone and searched the internet for the closest gay and lesbian club to her hotel. Then she hopped in a cab and found herself standing in a line down a dark alley waiting to be admitted to a place called the Emerald City. She had chuckled to herself at the name. Over the rainbow… how cliché and somehow clever.

The line hadn't moved in nearly forty-five minutes. It had gotten longer behind her, but no one seemed to be getting in. So she had asked another cliché, a flamboyantly dressed and feminine man in front of her what the deal was.

"Diamond who?" Emma said with a frown.

The man returned her frown and placed both hands on his hips. "Diamond who? Oh honey… you're just a baby gay aren't you?" He laughed then and Emma blushed, embarrassed she didn't know something she was apparently meant to know. "Diamond as in Diamond La Rue. She is maybe the most well-known drag queen in the world. In New England at the very least. She's doing her one woman show tonight. So… the line, the wait, the delectable selection of twinks and bears."

The man motioned around and Emma tried to decipher exactly what he meant. "Oh. I see. Well, I never heard of her." She shrugged and tried not to pay attention to her aching feet. Why had she worn these stripper heels? They were not her style at all.

The man eyed her for another moment and then patted her gently on the shoulder. "Just plan on being in line a long time, girl. These bitches won't be in a hurry to leave tonight."

With that, he turned back to his friends and Emma slumped against the wall behind her. This wasn't going at all like she had hoped. With another moment to consider, the blonde pushed off the wall and walked back to the street to hail a cab. She'd try again tomorrow.

She gazed out the window as the car inched along the surprisingly busy street. About a block from her hotel, she noticed a petite red head making her way toward a doorway and smiled. She was attractive and young and dressed like Emma would be under normal circumstances. Jeans, jacket, boots. The girl turned and smiled at Emma's face in the car window as she went into a bar with a sign flashing in the window that said "O'Malley's Pub."

 _Maybe this night won't be a total loss._

~ (SQ) ~

After a quick dash up to change her clothes, Emma had come back to the hotel lobby in her favorite skinny jeans and wife-beater. She had slipped her arms into her red leather jacket and put her wallet in her back pocket. Already feeling like herself again, she was re-energized and ready to try her luck at an old school bar.

Stepping into the dim room, Emma scanned the place, looking for the red head. The bar was larger than it appeared from the store front. To the left were several pool tables, all crowded around with guys and couples, the click-clacking sound of the balls ricocheting off one another distinct even with the loud music and low rumble of conversation.

To the right were several booths and then a neat row of high-top tables with barstools. Most of these were also crowded with men and women, some sitting, some standing, all with a drink in their hand.

At the back of the room was a wide open door leading to a sparsely populated patio. The smokers had gathered there and the faint scent of their tobacco burning could be picked up even from Emma's spot near the entrance.

But in the center of the room was the main attraction. The large, oval-shaped bar dominated the room. The majority of the bar's patrons were pressed into the space around the bar, reaching out for drinks, shouting orders and flirting with each other. It was like the central hub of a bee hive and it was buzzing with life. Emma noticed a bar stool open up and made a sudden dash for it.

Slipping onto the seat, she immediately felt a hand on the small of her back. Turning, she saw a man in his late thirties, clearly several drinks along, smiling at her.

"Hey now beautiful. I was waiting on this seat." He made no move to extract his hand from her back as she leaned forward away from his touch.

"Uh. Sorry?" Emma said, wondering if she should move.

"Well, now. No need to apologize. How about I buy you a drink and we can share the stool?" The man leaned in closer and motioned for the bartender to come over.

"Um… no, I don't… I don't think so. But thanks." Green eyes grew wide with fear. She suddenly felt like the nineteen year old novice in a big city that she actually was. Despite living on the street in the past, she had always managed to steer clear of this kind of guy.

Ever persistent, the man stepped into the tiny space beside her and draped an arm across her shoulders. "Oh, c'mon sweetheart. Don't be like that. Let Gary buy you a little drink and we can maybe take our talk over to a booth?"

"Why don't I let Gary keep his manhood intact and Gary just walks away? Hmmm?" A smoky, dangerous voice spoke from Emma's left.

"Fuck off, lady. I'm just trying to buy the girl a drink." Gary called as Emma turned to see two fierce brown eyes glaring past her at Gary. Perfect red lips curled back in a sneer.

"This _girl_ clearly doesn't want a drink… or _anything_ from you, Gary. So you… fuck off. Won't your wife be expecting you home any minute now anyway?" Emma turned back to Gary who was suddenly pale. She noticed rather belatedly a gold band on his left ring finger as he slipped his hand quickly into his pocket.

"Whatever… _bitch._ "

And just like that, Gary was gone. Emma looked again at the woman beside her.

"I'm sorry about that, dear. Despite the strides we have made as a species it still seems the male of the animal has a hard time understanding those two little letters." The timber of the woman's voice was low and raspy and cut through Emma like a hot knife in butter.

"Two letters?" Her mind had stopped working and that was all she could think to say.

"Yes. Two letters. N. O. Some men just can't take no for an answer so we have to look out for each other." The woman tucked a raven lock of silken hair behind her ear and smiled.

Emma gripped the sides of the stool to keep from sliding to the floor. This could be trouble.

"Can I get you ladies anything?" The bartender finally arrived.

"Yes. I'll have another martini…dry, with two olives. And my friend—" The woman looked at Emma expectantly.

"Emma." She managed to croak out.

"Emma will have…." Again she waited for Emma to answer.

"Um… I'll have a martini too. Dry?" She hoped she liked it. She hadn't tried a martini before.

"Right. So two dry martinis, two olives. Be right up." The bartender busied himself making their drinks and Emma stared straight ahead. She didn't know what to say or do.

"Regina Mills." The woman said, uncrossing and crossing again toward Emma two very long, smooth and tanned legs. Green eyes tracked up from her stilettos, following the legs until they disappeared under an expensive looking blue dress. Her gaze kept climbing up a slim torso, over enticing and somehow modestly displayed cleavage, up the long column of her neck until she settled again on dark eyes. There was a mischievous glint in those eyes and a smirk on full lips. "I said, I am Regina Mills."

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Uh. Sorry. I… I'm Emma. Emma Swan." The blonde felt a rush of color race up from her chest, and spread across her porcelain cheeks. She'd been caught checking the woman out. Was she no better than Gary?

"Emma Swan." Regina said the name carefully, as if she were weighing it—tasting it—trying it out for the first time to see how it felt in her mouth. She reached for her martini and smiled at the bartender who dashed away. "What an unusual name."

"I guess." Emma took a tentative sip of her drink. She let the drink settle over her tongue and concentrated, trying to decide if she like it or not.

"Well? Do you like it?" Regina arched a brow high, sipping her own drink.

"I… I'm not really sure." Thin lips pursed as Emma considered the beverage another moment.

"Hmm, so this is your first. I thought it might be from the way you ordered it." Brown eyes must have caught the look of embarrassment on Emma's face so she went on. "Don't worry. A martini can be an acquired taste. You have to try it a couple times to know for sure. But for future reference, dear, don't let the bartender use an inferior gin. It may be less expensive but they tend to taste like pine needles."

Emma's face morphed into one of horrified disgust at the thought of pine needles to drink and Regina's deep laughter seemed to fill every corner of the space around them like a warm blanket. "That sounds disgusting." Emma shrugged, giggling a bit herself. Another sip of the drink and the girl felt like she could learn to like it.

"So, Emma," Regina said pulling an olive free from the cocktail pick with her perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth, "were you an ugly duckling as a child or have you always been a beautiful swan?"

Again Emma felt color bloom across her cheeks. She wished she wasn't so fair skinned so it wouldn't be so obvious. "I was awkward as a kid I guess, but I hadn't realized I had transformed into a swan just yet."

Now Regina's grin morphed from teasing to something Emma couldn't name. "Oh, I assure you, dear… you have grown out of your awkward stage quite nicely." The woman winked as she took another sip of her drink.

 _Holy shit. Is she… is she flirting with me?_

Emma smiled into her drink. This was fast becoming her favorite day ever. "That's good to know."

"Well, _Miss Swan_ , I've never seen you in here before. What brings you down tonight?" Regina shifted subtly on her stool so her calf brushed slightly against Emma's leg.

Emma frowned. She didn't want to admit why she was here. "Um… that is a long story." She tried to put the truth away without seeming like she didn't want to talk to the woman anymore. Because she definitely did.

Another sinfully flirtatious smile slipped across Regina's face. "I've got nothing but time. Are you on vacation? New in town? Perhaps you are here on business and just hoping to get lucky tonight?"

The blonde swallowed thickly. Should she lie or just spill the truth? "I guess I am on vacation, sort of. It is fall break from school and…"

"Ah, a student. What year?" Regina's eyes seemed so full of genuine interest, Emma relaxed a little.

"I'm a senior—"

"Wonderful. What university?"

Emma's heart began to pound. What university indeed. Should she lie? Yes. Yes, of course she should. "Tufts. Do you know it?"

Emma had her heart set on Tufts University and their clinical psychology program. She crossed her fingers and whispered a prayer that Regina wasn't an alum.

"Tufts? Yes. I'm familiar. Elephants, right?" Regina nodded to the bartender to bring them each another drink as she spoke.

"Right. The mascot." Emma needed to steer things away from the school. "So, I'm on break and I didn't really have anything planned so my friends sent me on a fake vacation."

"What… they put you up in a hotel off campus?" Regina's curious brown eyes watched with complete trust and Emma felt a wave of guilt. She wasn't a liar.

"Well, something like that. Its… its embarrassing. The real reason I'm here, I mean." Emma ate the first olive in her finished drink and decided she did like martinis. She just needed the salty brine of the olive a little sooner.

A soft hand landed on Emma's leather covered arm. "It's ok. You don't have to tell me. But… I am a good listener and it isn't as if you will ever see me again so I might be the right person to unburden yourself to." Regina squeezed gently and dropped her hand.

Emma ate the second olive and considered her options. She didn't want to stop talking to Regina and she really did want to tell someone… anyone that she was gay. She'd never really said it out loud before. So maybe… "Ok. The thing is—don't judge me—my friends sent me here because… well, they are all… no, that's not… See the girls in my dorm the other night were…" Emma sighed in frustration and the hand reappeared on her arm.

"Just spit it out, dear. I won't judge you. I promise."

Green eyes looked into dark brown and Emma's heart skipped in her chest. How could one woman be so beautiful and why was she talking to Emma?

"Ok. I'm a virgin." She said quickly. "I'm a virgin and the girls in my dorm sent me downtown to a nice hotel with a wad of cash and expect me not to come back home until I… well, you know." Emma tried hard to fight the wave of embarrassment that crashed into her. She wouldn't even look at Regina.

"Oh. I see. Well. And are you ok with this? Do you… wish to lose your virginity to just any man who offers? Because if that is the case Gary would…" Regina trailed off but there was a definite teasing quality to her voice. Emma looked back at her and saw the sparkle of mirth in her eyes and perhaps… was that disappointment?

"Are you laughing at me when I just told you my worst se—well not my worst secret but in the top two?" Emma feigned outrage.

"Oh, no dear. I'm not laughing. I just find it hard to believe that you would need anyone to help you find a young man willing to deflower you. You are quite beautiful, you seem to have a wonderful personality and from what I've seen you have a great body. So, I'm confused I suppose." Regina shrugged and took a longer sip of her drink.

Emma sat stunned. Beautiful? Great body? Her mouth went suddenly dry and it had nothing to do with the vermouth.

"Well, obviously based on Gary's attempt alone I am not incapable of finding a guy to… _deflower_ me as you said. Jesus. How old are you? Who says deflower?" Emma laughed outright then.

"I am thirty if you must know and I say deflower because there isn't a nicer way to say you want someone to take your virginity." Regina's full lips pulled into an offended pout they both knew wasn't real. "But, do go on, dear. Tell me why you haven't taken one of these many willing young men up on their offers if you wanted to lose your virginity so desperately that you plan a vacation around it."

Emma laughed again. Regina had a way of making everything she said sound serious and teasing all at once. Emma could get used to that.

"The truth is…" Emma paused. Was she really going to tell her? "I haven't gone to bed with any of those guys because… well, I'm not interested in guys. Not any guys. Do you know what I mean?"

Regina's eyes traced up Emma's form from her boots to her blonde hair and the silly light in her eyes faded along with the disappointment she had earlier detected. "I believe I do. You are more interested in the fairer sex."

"Right. I'm gay. And I've never told anyone until right this moment so be nice." Emma drank her remaining drink in one swallow and felt the burn in her throat. "The girls in my dorm don't know and so they sent me here to find a guy but really, I came here to find a girl."

"Well, wouldn't the Emerald City or Machine or Club Cafe be a better choice than O'Malley's?" Regina shifted again and this time her calf made more firm impact against Emma's.

"Well, I did go to the Emerald City but it was crowded. Some drag queen was doing a show." Emma shrugged.

"Ah, yes. Diamond La Rue. I had forgotten." Regina motioned the bartender again. This time for the bill. Emma pretended not to notice. Had she ruined things by telling Regina? "So then you just wandered in here?"

Emma blushed.

"No," she stammered, "I saw a really hot red head come in so I came to see if I could find her. It's pathetic I know. What are the odds anyone in here would be gay?"

"And why haven't you been talking to her?" Regina asked, a sudden edge to her voice that Emma couldn't quite decipher.

"Because I much prefer talking to you."

Regina's brown eyes bore down on Emma's, searching for something the blonde couldn't guess.

"To be honest, Regina, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life and when you rescued me from that ass hat Gary I wasn't even able to form coherent sentences. The red head was the last thing on my mind." Emma wasn't sure where this sudden boldness came from but she decided to go with it.

The next sensation she felt was Regina's hand on her thigh. "Emma…" she whispered. If the blonde hadn't been watching her lips so intently she likely wouldn't have even known she said it.

"I mean, I get it. This isn't a place where you meet lesbians. And I just told you maybe the most ridiculous story in history so no pressure right? I'm a 'baby gay' with no experience and I'm proving my ineptitude by flirting with a straight woman and—"

"Emma." Regina said a little louder and squeezed the thigh under her palm.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I'm sure I've made you very uncomfortable and I shouldn't even be in here. I'm only—"

"Emma." Regina said now with force, her fingers pressing into Emma's thigh in such a way as to send white hot heat up the blonde's body. "For your first lesson, when a woman puts her hand on your thigh… she's interested."

"What?" Emma couldn't feel her fingers. Her body was completely numb aside from the precious real estate beneath Regina's hand and points slightly north.

"Invite me back to your hotel, Emma." Regina's voice poured like honey from her soft red lips.

"My… my hotel?" Emma stammered, stunned and on the verge of passing out on the spot.

"Yes." Regina said, leaning in to Emma's neck. Her hot breath spilling onto milky white flesh. Her lips brushed gently against the sensitive spot beneath Emma's ear and she whispered, "Invite me back to your hotel… Em-ma."

Regina sat back and waited for Emma to gather her wits, her plump bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Taking a deep breath, the younger woman finally regained her voice.

"Regina, would you like to come back to my hotel? I think you would really enjoy the view from my room. It's spectacular."

"Mmmm, if it is anything like the view I have now, I'm sure we'll both enjoy it, Emma. Lead the way."


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: See chapter one for disclaimer**_

 _ **Thank you all so much for every follow and favorite and especially for the comments. You may not know this, but writers feed comments to their Muse. And a well fed Muse is a happy Muse. And a happy Muse inspires the writer to share more of the story with you. ;) I appreciate each one of you for sharing this journey with me.**_

 _ **This chapter was hard for me to write mostly because writing a love scene (at least for me) is difficult. It is a little like walking around naked. So, if you enjoy it, please let me know.**_

 _ **So, without further ado...**_

* * *

Out on the busy street, Emma moved with determined purpose toward the Marquis. The night air of autumn in Boston was crisp and telling of a cold winter ahead but the blonde was unaware. Her skin was on fire. Her heart was raging against her ribcage. Her mind was a coiled ball of wire, electric thoughts shooting, jumping and creating chaos.

But the skin on her neck, just below her left ear… that was the epicenter of madness. She could still feel the ghost of Regina's lips brushing lightly there, the whisper of her voice asking Emma to take her back to the hotel. A smudge of red lipstick was the only real evidence that the event had occurred.

Brown boots marched quickly toward the intersection, Emma's mind trying to focus on the path of least resistance back to the hotel. Cross to the left, one block up and then an elevator ride to the twentieth floor. And then… then… Emma swallowed hard. She didn't want to think about that yet.

Suddenly the young blonde felt a hand on her arm, halting her progress as she started to cross the street.

"Miss Swan, while I am in excellent shape, I am not ready to run the Boston Marathon. Especially not in my Louboutins. They were made for a decidedly more temperate pace." Regina was grinning and grimacing all at once as she adjusted her foot in her five inch heels.

"Oh god! I'm… I'm sorry. I was just…" Emma looked from Regina to the hotel just a block ahead and back to the brunette.

"You were on a mission. Don't apologize, dear. I admire your determination to reach your goal. However, as I said, this is not a race." Regina stepped close to Emma now and took her by the hand. "We are in no hurry to reach the finish line. I believe you will find that taking your time will be much more enjoyable."

Emma wasn't sure if Regina was still talking about the walk to the hotel or not but the implication made her skin flush. Only then did she notice the nip in the air and she was thankful for it. She needed to cool off. She felt slightly embarrassed at the way her body was responding to the other woman. She wasn't being overtly sexual. She was teasing and flirting, sure, but she wasn't being vulgar. Yet Emma could feel herself responding in a way she never had in the presence of any woman she was attracted to. Indeed, if there had been any doubt in her mind about her sexuality, it was lost now in the growing sea of desire she felt for the audacious woman before her.

"Right. Ok. So, I'll slow my pace." Emma stepped ahead without releasing Regina's small hand and guided her carefully and at a respectable gait to the entry of the Marquis where the doorman opened the door and greeted them with a tip of his hat.

"Good evening, ladies." He offered with a smile.

"Good evening, Harold." Regina purred as they stepped into the ornate lobby. The Marquis was an older hotel in the city and as such had dark wood tones, plush chairs and settees and the air of old money.

"The Marquis. I'm impressed. It seems your friends are quite invested in divesting you of your chastity, dear." Regina whispered as they crossed to the elevators.

"Yeah, I guess." Emma whispered back as they waited with another couple for an elevator. "How did you… I mean, the doorman. How'd you know his name? Do you come here… a lot?"

Brown eyes danced with mischief. "Are you asking me if I often accompany young women back here to help them out in your unique situation?"

Emma blanched white. She hadn't meant that at all. "No! No, of course not!" Then she added with some concern, "You don't though, right?"

Regina's laughter filled the stifled and stuffy air like music from another room. "No my darling. I do not. And I didn't know the doorman's name. I read it on his name tag. You see… I have found in my experience it is a small kindness to acknowledge those in a service profession by mentioning their name or, if I know something about them—like their children or a birthday, perhaps—to recall it. You will find as you leave school and go out into the world that not everyone is privileged enough even at the hand of their friends to stay in the Marquis. Some only work here. So, always let them know you see them. Many people of money can scarcely be bothered to know how the door opened at all, let alone to see it was an elderly man with ice blue eyes. Did you notice?"

Emma shook her head no. She hadn't noticed anything about him. And she wasn't a person of money and likely never would be.

"Well then, let's just call that lesson number two." The elevator dinged and they entered, standing at the back. The two of them stood closer than the large space required, shoulder to shoulder but no longer holding hands. Two other couples stepped inside the box and stood with their back to the pair, talking in hushed tones as the doors slid closed. As the elevator began to slowly rise, Emma felt nimble fingers slip under the hem of her tank top and rest against the small of her back. Soon after, Regina purred into her ear. "I can hardly wait for lesson three."

An involuntary shudder raced through Emma's body. She could hardly wait either.

~ (SQ) ~

"Here we are." Emma said, removing the keycard and pushing the door open to allow Regina to enter. The older woman slipped into the room, taking off her jacket and tossing it with her purse on the sofa.

"Very nice. How long are you here for?"

"The week. Ruby—the mastermind of this whole thing—she set me up for a week and gave me enough cash to live large." Emma closed the door but stayed awkwardly near it, unsure of what was expected of her.

Regina turned to her from behind the sofa and smiled softly. "Relax, Emma. Nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen. In fact, nothing has to happen at all. So… breathe."

Emma exhaled dramatically as if to show Regina she was taking her words to heart and stepped to the kitchenette. "There isn't much here for me to offer you. A few small bottles of booze in the mini bar fridge. I'm afraid I don't know how to make a martini though."

"No worries. I'm done drinking for the night. I think you should keep a clear head as well. Do you have any water?" Regina stepped around the sofa and pulled open the curtains from the window, exposing them to a view that was indeed spectacular.

Emma pulled two bottles of water from the refrigerator and made her way to the sofa. She opened one and took a long drink and was about to sit down when Regina motioned for her to join her by the window. The two of them stood there in silence for a time, sipping from the water bottles and looking out at the city like two queens surveying their kingdom.

After what seemed like hours, Emma couldn't help but turn from the window and examine the woman beside her. At some point she had stepped out of her heels and was in her bare feet making her shorter than the blonde. Her hair was just shy of being jet black and it looked casual and soft in that way that Emma knew took women hours to achieve though it gave the appearance of being naturally perfect. Her face was perfect and even in profile was the most beautiful face Emma had ever seen. She noticed for the first time a tiny scar on her top lip and wondered what had caused it.

"I thought you invited me up here to see the spectacular view, dear." Regina said through a smile without looking away from the cityscape.

"Yes. Yes, I did. But I like this view better."

Regina turned her head then and looked into green eyes. Her smile faded tenderly into a look of fondness that their short time together shouldn't have been able to create as yet. The older woman stepped from the window, claiming Emma's hand and led her toward the chair facing the window. She had the blonde sit down and put both their waters on the side table before kneeling before her.

Emma stiffened and tried to get up but a firm palm to her chest stopped her. Regina said nothing but sat so her rear end was nestled atop the heels of her bare feet and began unzipping Emma's boots. She smiled up at Emma and pulled one boot free before tugging at the other. Next, she slipped free both of Emma's mismatched and colorful socks, an appreciative grin passing over her lips at that. Emma watched spellbound until dark eyes looked up into green.

Regina eased up onto her knees in a proper kneeling position in between Emma's long legs and began pushing the red leather jacket from her shoulders. Emma had forgotten she was wearing it. Having freed her from the jacket, the brunette flung it on the sofa with her own and turned back to Emma. She placed a hand on each of Emma's shoulders, bare but for the thin tank top, and smoothed down her arms to her hands.

Emma held her breath. Her mind was racing and her body was on edge with a million sensations. But when she looked into Regina's eyes, everything began to settle. What was it about this woman? Regina's hands clasped each of Emma's slightly larger ones and squeezed.

"Do you want me to stop?" A sultry voice floated across the air and settled into the blonde. Emma shook her head no. She definitely did not want her to stop. "Well, if you do, at any time, just say so. I _do_ know how to take no for an answer. You are in control here, Emma. You are calling the shots, not me."

Emma nodded her understanding as Regina released her hands and smoothed back up to her shoulders. Her lithe fingers slipped up Emma's neck and gently across her cheeks, stopping to intertwine in golden curls. Slowly and with purpose, Regina pulled Emma forward and pressed their lips together softly. As if she were waiting for some sign that Emma approved, the older woman just held her there, breathing her in, unmoving lips pressed together.

Remembering Regina's words that she was in control, Emma responded to the gentle kiss by sitting forward a bit. It was clear she wanted the kiss so Regina went on. Slowly, sensually, she moved her mouth against Emma's seeming content to continue this dance as if a kiss were the absolute summit of pleasure. Perhaps sensing the younger woman's growing desire for more, Regina pulled back and searched her face a moment before kissing her again. This time she sucked Emma's lower lip between her own and brushed it lightly with her tongue.

Emma tried to hold back the groan that had been building in her but feeling the warm, wet member against her sensitive skin freed the sound from her throat. She had kissed boys before, even a girl in a foster home once, but she had never been kissed like this. The sound of her pleasure seemed to inspire Regina and soon she deepened the kiss. Her hot velvet tongue slid against Emma's and entered her mouth. Emma could only groan again in response.

The kisses grew more passionate and determined until Emma felt her hips canter forward of their own volition, seeking contact with the dark woman nestled between her thighs, still kneeling on the floor. The arch of Emma's body caused Regina to break the kiss unexpectedly. She pulled her own bottom lip into her mouth as if savoring the taste of Emma there and studied the blonde for a moment. Suddenly she stood and turned her back to the girl.

Emma's heart began to race. Had she done something wrong? The last thing she wanted was for Regina to turn away or worse, leave her. She was in no condition to be left alone now. She was about to ask what she had done wrong when the brunette looked over her shoulder at her and purred, "Help me with my zipper."

Emma stood and stepped up behind the other woman. She lifted her hands up to the neckline of the blue dress as Regina pulled her hair out of the way, across her shoulder. Seeing the tremor in her own fingers, Emma pulled her hands back and balled them into fists before shaking them out and reaching for the zipper again.

Sensing the hesitation, Regina asked over her shoulder, "Are you ok? We can stop if—"

"No! I… I don't want to stop. I just…" Emma gulped in air and tried to lower her voice. She hadn't meant to sound so loud. "Why are you doing this for me?"

The older woman stood for a moment, her back still turned to Emma and said nothing. The blonde began to wonder yet again if she had ruined things with her words. "I'm sorry, Regina. I shouldn't have asked that. I was only—"

"It's ok." Regina said turning to face her. "I just needed a moment to be sure before I answered. I'm doing this because from the moment you sat on that bar stool tonight I found you incredibly attractive. And that feeling has only increased the more time we've been together."

Emma blushed at her words, thankful for the near darkness of the room. She opened her mouth to speak but Regina continued speaking. "And I am doing this because if you are going to give yourself to someone you don't love for your first time, it should be someone who will be kind, and patient, and who understands how special a moment like this is… even if you don't. I wish someone had been patient with me… once."

Emma detected a sadness in dark eyes as they looked away. It appeared those eyes were seeing far into the past and Emma waited for Regina to return to the moment. "Well, then I am glad you are the one here with me now for more reasons than I initially thought."

Regina's mischievous grin returned. "Reasons such as?"

"Your beautiful face. Your incredible body. And my god the things you can do with that mouth." Emma said honestly.

Chocolate eyes darkened as Regina husked, "You've only just begun to discover what this mouth can do, dear." She turned around then and offered her back to Emma again. "Now… the zipper."

Emboldened by the desire she had seen in Regina's eyes, Emma reached up for the zip with confidence. Slowly, she pulled down, allowing her eyes to drink in every new inch of olive skin being exposed by her efforts. The zipper stopped just below the swell of Regina's rear end. This was the first time Emma had really gotten to look at her from this side and she was pleased. Incredible body had been an understatement.

"Now, from the shoulders, slip me out of it." Regina's voice offered soft instruction that Emma was happy to oblige.

Reaching beneath the fabric of the dress, Emma let her hands rest against the warm flesh there and parted the dress slowly, pushing it down Regina's sculpted arms. She was both soft and strong, a combination that made Emma's stomach flip inside her.

Soon, the dress fell free from the other woman's body and she turned toward the blonde and stepped back and out of it, kicking it to the side. Emma could only stare wide-eyed. Regina's small breasts were encased in black lace that exposed rounded tops and created decadent cleavage. The smooth plane of her stomach drew green eyes to black lace boy shorts that made Emma feel a tightening in her own low abdomen. The older woman stood patiently as Emma examined her.

Involuntarily, Emma's hand reached out to touch the brunette but she quickly pulled her hand back. She was unsure how this was supposed to go.

"It's alright. You can touch me. I want you to touch me." Regina's voice sounded breathless, despite her confident stance. "Touch me, Emma."

A pale hand reached out and finger tips grazed the toned flesh of Regina's stomach before pulling away. Dark eyes encouraged Emma to go on, so she reached out again, this time allowing her fingers to caress the swell of the brunette's breasts. Emma watched awestruck as her touch created goosebumps along the surface and made Regina's eyes fall shut.

Cautiously, Emma closed her hand around the soft flesh, feeling the hardened tip against her palm. She wanted to squeeze, wanted to more fully examine the skin beneath her fingers but she was unsure. Green eyes sought out brown for guidance and in a moment, Regina's olive hand rested on top of Emma's and applied pressure, squeezing her own breast with the younger woman's hand several times.

Regina dropped her hand then to give Emma free reign and gasped at the tender aggression as the blonde continued to explore her. Soon enough, Emma's hands left her breasts and slipped around her waist, pulling Regina flush against her. In a moment they were kissing and Regina moved from lips, to jaw and finally to that sensitive place she had brushed in the bar. Her tongue snaked out and lapped against the flesh there drawing out a wanton sound from Emma that seemed somehow to belong to someone else to the blonde. She'd never made that sound in her life, yet Regina had conjured it up like a sorceress weaving a spell on her.

Again, Regina broke the kiss and stepped back, slipping her hands to the hem of Emma's tank top. She never broke eye contact as she slipped the garment over Emma's head and dropped it on the floor. Standing exposed, Emma folded her arms across her stomach shyly. Regina smiled and pulled her arms free.

"Beautiful," she whispered as her mouth began kissing Emma's neck again. "So beautiful."

The kisses trailed across her collar bone and down to the tops of her breasts leaving a burning trail in their wake. Every inch of Emma's skin was pulsing with life and feelings. Each new spot Regina's mouth tasted became the blonde's favorite place to be kissed. As if struck by sudden revelation, Emma lifted her hands that had been hanging at her sides since Regina stripped her of her tank top and let them trace over the woman's back. Down the ridge of her spine, Emma traced until she reached the edge of lace and traced back up to the clasp of Regina's bra.

"Take it off me." Regina instructed as she continued to lavish Emma hot skin with open mouth kisses.

Clumsily, Emma tried to unlatch the bra's hooks. Several times she tried before groaning in frustration. Regina stood up straight and chuckled quietly. "Here. Let me help. It takes practice." With a wink, she released the clasp and held the cups in place with her arm as the straps fell away.

Certain she had Emma's full attention, she slowly lowered her arm, releasing the lace. As it fluttered to the floor, the only sound was a sharp intake of breath from Emma. With renewed curiosity, pale fingers reached greedily forward and massaged naked breasts with earnest.

Regina sucked air through her teeth. "Not so rough. You've made me quite sensitive with your gentleness up until now."

Emma looked up expecting anger with the rebuke but found only the patience Regina had spoken of before. With a softer touch, she returned to her task and rolled each nipple between her fingers. Unable to stop herself, Emma leaned forward taking a breast into her mouth. Regina moaned and let her head fall back.

Emma took this as a good sign and let her tongue swirl around the ever hardening flesh of the dusky nipple while her other hand continued to squeeze and release the other. A firm hand on the back of her head held her tightly in place. Emma had a foreign urge sweep through her then to let her tongue lap against every inch of Regina's body before the night was through. She wanted to taste, to tease, to claim every part of her. Was that how she was meant to feel at a moment like this?

She pulled back, breathless and panting.

"What's wrong, dearest? Are you ok?" Regina's fingers carefully caressed Emma's flushed cheek and tucked blonde hair behind her ear.

"I'm ok. I had this feeling… this need and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel that way." Wide green eyes searched Regina's face.

"What feeling? You can ask me anything and I will tell you." There was such trust and care in dark eyes that Emma believed her words. She felt utterly and completely safe in this moment. She knew this woman meant her no harm and wanted only to make this experience a good one.

"A feeling like I wanted to kiss you… all over. Like I wanted to taste every part of you. Like I wanted to tease you and mark you as mine." Emma's voice sounded strange in her own ears, rough with desire.

Regina groaned and closed her eyes for a moment. "You make my mouth water. My dear, sweet, Emma… all of those feelings are just the ones you should be feeling. And you may do just as you wish."

Regina stepped backwards toward the bedroom, beckoning Emma to follow with just a glance. Once her legs hit the bed, she stopped and reached for the loops of Emma's jeans, pulling the younger woman closer. "You don't have to ask my permission to do anything you feel. If I don't like it, I will say so. And if you don't like something I do, you say and I will stop. I want to make you feel good, Emma. Is that what you want?"

Emma nodded and then feeling the need to affirm Regina's request aloud, she whispered, "Yes. That's what I want. You're what I want."

Regina moaned anew at the words and let her hands carefully begin unbuttoning the blonde's tight jeans. Every movement of olive fingers sent electricity through Emma's body, ending with a coiling heat in her abdomen and a pooling wetness between her thighs. If this had been anyone else, she would have been embarrassed by how her underwear were already uncomfortably soaked but she felt no fear with the woman sliding her hands inside the waistband of her pants. She knew she wouldn't be judged.

In a moment, both women stood completely naked, exposed and exploring each other with their eyes. Regina sat back on the mattress and eased her way back until she was lying against the pillows. She patted the space beside her and smiled.

"Come here. Let me show you how very wonderful making love can really be."

~ (SQ) ~

Her body spent and covered in sweat, Emma collapsed on her back beside the remarkable and complex woman who was now her lover. A satisfied smile spread across her flushed face as she tried to slow her breathing. The air was thick with the erotic scent of sex and the haunting echoes of pleasured cries had faded into silence.

"My… you are a quick learner." Regina panted out as she rolled onto her side facing Emma.

"Did I… you know… did I do good that time?" Emma smiled shyly. Her bashfulness was in stark contrast to the brazenness of mere moments before when she had buried her face ravenously into the apex of Regina's thighs.

"Good?" Regina chuckled somewhere in between sweetly and dirtily. "My darling you are well past good. I am no novice and I parted ways long ago with my innocence but you… you made me feel as clean as a virgin and as debauched as a whore all at once."

Emma's face scrunched in confusion. "Is that a good thing? Being made to feel like a whore doesn't sound—"

Regina laughed then with such freedom and joy it seemed to paint the walls of the room with Technicolor wonder. "Oh my dear, precious girl. You didn't make me feel like a whore. What I mean is, somehow you managed to make me feel like I was experiencing the beauty of being touched for the first time but you also made me feel the release and addictive power of a raging orgasm known only to those who give themselves to it completely." At Emma's continued frown, Regina cupped her face in her hands and kissed her gently on the lips. "What I am trying to say is, you made me feel something I've never felt before. And I'm not just saying that to stroke your ego."

Emma studied her for a moment and felt sure she was telling the truth. "So I did good?" She asked cheekily.

"Oh, yes. You did good." She moaned at the memory and lay on her back again. "So good."

~ (SQ) ~

Emma's hands twisted into the sheets and her eyes were tightly squeezed shut.

"Open your eyes and look at me." Regina's rasping voice commanded. Emma opened her eyes slightly and looked down at the dark ones peering back at her. "Good girl. I want to see you."

Regina lowered her swollen and bruised lips back to Emma's aching flesh and lapped her tongue across her sex. A wanton moan left both women in tandem at the action. Emma's body was overheated and overstimulated in such a way that she no longer felt tethered to the earth. Indeed, her hands in the sheets were the only thing keeping her from floating into space among the stars she saw in Regina's glittering black eyes.

Still, she knew she didn't want Regina to stop and she moaned and whined it again and again in a chorus of depraved neediness. _Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't… stop._

And Regina was only too happy to comply. Again and again her tongue circled and swirled around the pleasure pearl between Emma's shaking legs. Long, slender finger slipped in and out of her most secret place, plundering the treasure of Emma's desire, coaxing her to the edge of a pleasure-filled abyss. Emma could no longer see or feel or hear or taste or smell or even be aware of anything else in the universe even existing except Regina. Though her torn and tired vocal cords still managed to voice her need for the woman to continue— _don't stop, don't stop—_ her heart, her mind, every fiber of her being sang one song into oblivion.

 _Regina. Regina. Regina._

Without warning, the brunette closed her lips around the sensitive nub she had been attacking with abandon and sucked hard. As Emma fell over the now familiar pinnacle of bliss her voice finally relinquished itself to the chorus of her trembling flesh and cried out into the silent night—

"Regina!"

~ (SQ) ~

For two solid days they stayed in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom, shower or accept a room service delivery. For two days they had curled under the covers with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging on the door, keeping the world out. For two days they had laughed, talked and made love. Two glorious days before Regina had said she needed to go.

"No… stay." Emma whined. She didn't want Regina to go. Not yet.

 _Not ever._

"I have to, darling. I was checked into a hotel for the weekend and if I don't go collect my things, they are going to report me missing." The woman made her way to the wrinkled clothes she hadn't touched since Emma helped her out of them Friday night.

"Then let me send the concierge to your hotel and bring your bags here. I'm checked in for the week. You can stay with me." Emma didn't care that she was near begging.

"Emma…" Regina shook her head and looked around the floor for her panties.

"Please." Emma stood, naked and confident in the door, blocking Regina's exit. " _Please._ Just stay one more day."

Regina grinned and kissed the girl gently on her pink lips. "That's what you said yesterday."

"Well, I was only kidding yesterday. But I mean it today. Stay with me. Please?"

Regina looked into green eyes and perhaps it was the vulnerability in Emma's voice or something in her eyes but the brunette sighed and nodded her head. "Alright. I will stay another day." Raking her eyes appreciatively up Emma's nubile form she shrugged. "Or two. But then I have to go. I wasn't meant to be in the city so long. I need to get home."

"To what?" Emma asked, for the first time letting her mind drift to a Regina outside the confines of their bed. Where did she live? What did she do?

They had talked long into the night hours about dreams and hopes and other topics Emma knew wouldn't reveal she was really only a high school student and not a woman fit to match Regina in the world. Yet they hadn't talked about the mundanity of life at all. Homes, jobs, families… Did Regina have a family?

Regina stood still a moment, her panties found and hanging from the tips of her fingers. Suddenly coming to life as if she had been a movie paused for a moment, she ducked under Emma's arm and into the sitting room where she stuffed the panties into her purse and decided to go commando.

"As much as I'd like to stay in this bubble with you forever and forget my life, the fact is we both have responsibilities outside these walls Emma. But… if you will be patient with me, I will go collect my things, check out of my room and come back to you. I will make some calls and maybe I can stay with you a bit longer… if you want me."

Emma's frown morphed into a smile at the idea of more time with the older woman. "Ok. Go. I'll have a shower and let the maid come straighten up. Maybe we can go out for dinner?"

Regina furrowed her brow in concentration for a moment. "Yes. I think we should get out of the room for a bit. As much as I enjoy our time in bed, I think my body needs some recovery time. At least a few hours." The brunette winked and slipped on her heels.

Emma followed her to the door and stopped her before she could open it. Turning her suddenly, she pinned Regina against the surface and kissed her senseless. Panting and suddenly filled with renewed fire of desire, Regina asked, "What was that for?"

"Incentive to come back." The blonde offered with a sassy grin.

"Don't worry. I promise to come back. You've got too tight a hold on me to stay away long." Regina gave her a parting peck on the lips and slipped away.

~ (SQ) ~

The rest of their week together was something Emma had never experienced. So many rom-com movies, so many romance novels and secret fan fiction stories… nothing had prepared her for the week she spent with Regina. As cliché as it sounded, it was like a whirlwind romance.

They made love, sure. That was how it had begun. But something else was happening between them. In the dark, sated and tired, they found themselves whispering secrets they'd never told another. Emma had revealed how she had been in foster care, how often she had run away, how one foster family that cared—really cared—had turned her around. Regina had admitted she once loved a boy when she was in high school but his untimely death had left her broken. She'd never allowed herself to love again.

There had been evenings they'd curled up on the plush sofa in the sitting room, Emma in a tank and boxers, Regina in one of Emma's oversized t-shirts, and watched old movies. Regina was surprised to find Emma knew and loved so many older films. They had laughed together watching the original "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and cried together watching "Splendor in the Grass." That night they hadn't made love at all. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, whispering promises to never be apart for long.

By the time Thursday came, they knew each other in a way you can't know someone unless you have been with them for years. It was as if they had transcended time and space and had always been together. Just Emma and Regina, together in another realm of existence. Other people floated in and out of their line of vision as they had lunch and window shopped as they walked back to the Marquis, but they were nothing more than shooting stars passing through a sky full of stars belonging only to them.

Emma kept the niggling guilt that she was lying at bay by telling herself she would confess to Regina the truth on Friday before they parted ways. The blonde knew she couldn't keep this from the other woman. She deserved to know. And Emma was prepared to face the consequences. But she wanted to enjoy this perfect feeling for as long as she could. She'd never had it before and doubted she ever would again. But on Friday… on Friday she would tell her the truth.

Actually, Emma wasn't sure it would matter after the initial shock. Of course she was in high school, but she was of age. They weren't doing anything wrong. Besides, Emma would be twenty before October was over and ten years was a small age difference. It wouldn't matter. It couldn't matter. Not when she was sure she had fallen in love.

"Let's go in here, darling." Regina said, pulling Emma from her thoughts. "I want you to try on this dress."

Emma followed and before she knew what was happening, she had three bags of clothes over her arm that Regina deemed sexy, stylish and perfect for Emma. Some were not totally Emma's taste but she was willing to try them. Regina had dismissed Emma's insistence that she pay for the clothes with a wave of her hand and had given her credit card over to the salesclerk without another word.

The next store they came to, Emma had insisted Regina buy something for herself. So into the fitting room she had gone with skinny jeans and casual shirts. When the dark woman had opened the door uncertainly, hoping Emma approved she had been met with a rather predatory grin and the blonde had followed her into the room and shut the door.

Kissing became heated and would have gone much further if not for the timid knock of the salesgirl. "Are you alright in there?"

Regina ripped her lips away from Emma's and stifled a laugh. "Yes. Everything is wonderful in here. I'll take them all."

Satisfied and disheveled, the pair made their way to the register to pay for Regina's new clothes. Emma pulled out her wallet and laid it on the counter. "I am paying for these. End of discussion."

It was then that Regina noticed a sundress, white with green accents that she knew Emma needed. "Darling, before she rings all this up… won't you try that dress? I think it would look beautiful on you."

Emma pulled out one from the rack in her size. Shrugging, she headed into the dressing room. "Be right back."

Regina smiled at the salesgirl and nodded for her to continue ringing up the other items. "Thank you, Susan. I appreciate all your help with these. But _I_ am going to pay, no matter what she says."

Regina reached to pick up Emma's forgotten wallet and put it in her purse but instead it fell to the ground. Stooping over, Regina picked up the wallet and a few cards that had fallen loose. Opening the worn leather she decided their next stop would be the leather goods department. Emma deserved only the very best.

Folding the wallet closed a voice to her left interrupted Regina's thoughts. "Excuse me, ma'am. I believe this fell out of the wallet too."

A young man, another clerk for the store with a nametag reading 'Brad,' held out a card to her and she took it with a smile of thanks. She opened the wallet to put it back but something caught her eye. Emblazoned above a picture of Emma in a pair of dark rimmed glasses were the words STUDENT ID. Regina frowned and then gasped as she read the next few lines.

 _Foxhaven Academy. Boarding School for Girls. Emma Swan. Grade Twelve._

"Ma'am? Are you ok?" Susan tilted her head in concern. All the color had drained from the other woman's face in an instant.

Regina's eyes shot up and scanned the girl's face in horror. "Oh my god. I… I have to go. Tell her I'm sorry. I… I have to… Oh my god."

And with that, Regina ran from the store, leaving Emma's wallet on the counter.

A few moments later, Emma emerged smiling from the dressing room. "Well, what do you think, Gina?"

Emma looked around bewildered. She couldn't see Regina anywhere. She walked over to the counter where her wallet was still laying open. All her bags of new clothes were on the floor and a very confused salesgirl—Susan her nametag said—was looking from Emma to the exit.

"Susan? Where did my friend go?" Emma asked, her brows furrowed in growing confusion and perhaps a touch of fear.

"I dunno. She was having me ring all this up and then she just bolted out the door." Susan shrugged.

"What?! She ran out." Emma stepped toward the door, looking for Regina.

Susan's next words stopped her dead in her tracks. "Yes. She was replacing something in your wallet and suddenly looked ill. She took off out the door and told me to tell you she was sorry. Is… is everything alright? Who's going to pay for all these clothes?"

Emma ran then, full speed toward the door. In a moment she was out on the sidewalk, looking this way and that for any sign of Regina. She was nowhere to be found.

"Regina!" Emma called to her left, watching for the woman in the crowd. "Regina!" She screamed to her right, her vision suddenly marred by the tears filling her eyes. "Regina! Wait. Wait for me, _please!_ Regina, please."

A pair of strong hands gripped Emma's arms and shoved her roughly back toward the store she had just left. "Lady, you've got to pay for this dress or I'm calling the cops." The security guard pushed Emma back toward Susan and all the bags from her day shopping in the city with the love of her life.

Emma looked at her wallet and saw, as she had suspected, her student ID laying atop the other cards. She shouldn't have waited until Friday. She should have told Regina the truth as soon as she knew she was falling for her.

But now… now it was too late. Regina was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Surprise! I was going to wait to post this update but I was feeling generous today. I hope you enjoy this. If you do, please leave a comment. My muse says thanks for all the "snacks" from last chapter, lol.**

* * *

"So…. How was the trip to Boston?" Mary Margaret's voice was far too chipper for Emma to endure today. She was not capable of pretending just yet. She still needed time.

But, seeing the genuine care and curiosity in round green eyes, Emma took a deep breath and put on her best face. She'd been stuffing hurts and sorrows away in order to please people (social workers, teachers, foster families) her whole life. Add Mare to the list.

"It was great. I mostly stayed in the room but I had fun." Emma dumped her bags onto her bed and decided to wait a while before unpacking. She would need that distraction later, when everyone went to sleep.

"And… did you… _meet_ anyone?" Mare smiled across the room and sat on her desk chair, waiting for an answer.

"Did I _meet_ anyone?" _Only the love of my life. Only the most special and perfect woman I have ever known. Only someone who made me feel like I belonged… like I mattered… like I wasn't a broken down mess. Only Regina._ "Nah. I just hung out around the room, like I said." Emma pushed out the words with as much of a smile as she could muster. "How was your trip with your dad?"

Mary Margaret huffed. "It was so boring! I mean, Maine is lovely and I have some pretty eccentric relatives there but… it was dull. Tedious. A major snoozefest. Except for my cousin, Rose. Daddy says she's a bad influence on me but I just love…"

The brunette's voice faded out as Emma's mind wandered. She was trying to listen but her heart was someplace else. She'd left it in Boston.

 _Emma sat on the armchair in her hotel room at the Marquis. She had been sitting here for hours, just staring at the door, waiting for Regina to knock, to barge in and yell at her, to say or do anything. But she never came._

 _After paying for Regina's clothes and the sundress, and after convincing the security guard that she wasn't a thief, that there was a misunderstanding, Emma had raced with all her packages back to her hotel room. She hoped to find Regina there or at least to catch her gathering her bags before she ran away for good._

 _But she hadn't been in the room. And her bags were still here. Would she just leave these clothes behind? Maybe. Emma knew if the roles were reversed she could never afford to leave such things behind but Regina was rich. That was clear by the things she wore, the way she talked and carried herself and by the way she had so freely lavished the new clothes on Emma. Regina probably wouldn't even miss these left behind clothes and personal items._

 _There was a knock at the door and Emma sprang to her feet. Ripping the door open, her heart soared and then sank. It wasn't Regina. It was the concierge. "Yes? Can I help you?"_

 _"Good evening, Miss Swan. I had a call from your guest, Miss Mills. She requested I collect her belongings and have them sent to her. Could you gather them for me?" The man spoke in a superior tone he hadn't once used since Emma had arrived. Apparently Regina's wealth trumped Emma's connection to the Lucas empire._

 _"She… she wants them sent to her? Can you give me her address and I will deliver them myself." Emma stammered and tried to remain calm. This may be her only chance to find Regina. In all their time together, while mapping out the most intimate parts of each other both physically and emotionally, they hadn't bothered with such pedestrian facts as phone numbers or addresses. Without this link to Regina, she would simply disappear into the sea of nameless faces in the world._

 _"No ma'am, I cannot. Miss Mills seemed adamant that I collect the items and have them sent to her post office box. So there really is no place for you to deliver them." The man, Jenson his name tag read, stood a moment, surveying Emma. She was disheveled, her hair mussed and her eyes swollen from crying. "If I may, Miss Swan, let her go. You are a lovely young woman and whatever you had appears to have ended. I'm sorry, for what it is worth, but I must insist you collect her things."_

 _Emma felt new tears filling her eyes at the man's discerning of her heartbreak and also at the clinical tone he used to address it. He meant well, but his bedside manner left much to be desired. "Sure, thank you. I'll get everything ready, Jenson. Would you like to wait here or should I bring it to you?"_

 _"I will wait."_

 _And he did. He waited in the doorway, watching her as if she were a common thief. How had she so quickly fallen from grace? Emma carefully folded and packed each item and placed the new clothes Regina had just tried on hours ago in to the suitcases as well. She gathered up all of Regina's make-up and toiletries, allowing herself to take a last whiff of her perfume before she zipped the last bag and wheeled them to Jenson._

 _"What about that?" He motioned to a beautiful variegated purple silk scarf on the back of the sofa that belonged to Regina._

 _Emma merely shrugged as she lied, "It's mine. You have everything you need. Now if you will excuse me… I think I'd like to go to sleep."_

"So then Matthew said, maybe its witchcraft. Can you believe that? I nearly fainted. Witchcraft?! Rose laughed so hard I thought she would stop breathing." Mary Margaret smiled at her roommate. "Emma? Are you listening to me?"

"What?" Emma shook herself free from her thoughts. "Um… I'm sorry, Mare. I must've zoned out. I think… I think I need to… you know. I'm gonna go for a walk."

Pulling on a new black pea coat Mare had never seen, Emma wrapped a purple silk scarf around her neck and dashed out the door without another word, knocking into Ruby as she went.

"What's the matter with her?" Ruby asked.

Mary Margaret's eyes followed Emma until she disappeared down the stairs. "I have no idea… but I'm going to find out."

~ (SQ) ~

Soon, October became November and Mary Margaret became more concerned about her friend than ever. While she smiled at the right times and responded when she was spoken to, Emma wasn't herself. She had lost that spark, that zest for life that made her Emma. Even when Ruby had pressed her and teased on about meeting a guy in Boston, Emma had barely reacted.

It was like she was alive but only existing. She was a zombie, wandering around campus, wearing that purple silk scarf even if it didn't match her outfit. And she had so many new outfits. It was confusing. But no matter how delicately Mare tried to ask questions, nothing seemed to break through to the vibrant young blonde who had smiled stepping out of her cab the first day of the term back in August.

Now, as they neared the short break for Thanksgiving and everyone was busy writing term papers and studying for exams that would commence in December, Emma had almost faded away completely. Up until now, despite her curious depression, she had maintained her school work and attended class every day, but this morning, she hadn't gone at all.

Mare knew Emma was here on scholarship and they had made an exception for her despite her age (she hadn't even allowed them to throw her a party when her twentieth birthday had come at the end of October), but she had to keep her grades up. They wouldn't cut her slack like they did the legacy girls or the girls whose father's bought new computers or added a wing to the library. So she decided _this_ had gone on long enough. She was getting to the bottom of it… today.

"Emma? Are you alright? Mr. Gold wasn't happy that you missed chemistry today. He did let me bring you some notes though." Mare sat on the edge of Emma's bed and smoothed her limp hair out of her face. She noticed for the first time that Emma had lost some weight in the last few weeks.

"Thanks, Mare. I'm just… I don't feel well. I'm sorry." Emma didn't open her eyes but she didn't need to for her friend to know she had been crying again. She cried a lot lately.

"It's ok. I told him you'd been ill." Mare stroked her hair again. "Listen, I have to drive into town for a bit, David is going to fix that knocking sound in my car. His friend Neal is in town and we thought we would all get together for dinner. I want you to come. I think you'd like Neal. He's a sophomore at Tufts. Isn't that your number one choice for next year?"

Emma blinked her eyes slowly open. They were bloodshot and tired just as Mare had expected. "Are you trying to set me up?"

"Well, no… not really. Neal is very nice and… and to be perfectly honest, Emma, I'm worried about you. You look like shit—pardon my language. And if you won't let me help by talking to me about it then I figured at least I could get you out of this bed and away from this campus and around some new people." Brushing back her own dark bangs, she went on. "Listen, I care about you like you were my own sister and I don't know what to do to help. So, yes. Maybe I am meddling. But I—"

Emma sat up and smiled weakly. "It's ok, Mare. I'm not mad. Just… surprised. I thought you were against people trying to set me up. And I know you care. I do. And I love you for it. But I don't want to meet this Neal. And I don't want to be set up, ok? I just…" Tears welled up in Emma's green eyes. "I've just got a lot on my mind and I…"

"What is it, Emma? Please tell me. Let me help you."

"Help me? You can't help me. Nobody can. This is just something I have to live with. But thank you for caring." Emma laid back down and closed her eyes then. She was done talking.

But Mary Margaret Blanchard was not.

"Emma Swan! You get your ass out of that bed right this minute. You go in that bathroom and have a shower and wash your hair. We _are_ going into town. We _are_ having dinner with David and Neal. And I swear on all things holy, we are not coming back to this dorm until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Now… MOVE!"

Whether terrified or full of respect for the brunette's outburst, Emma found herself jumping from her bed and scurrying to the shower. She was going into town whether she liked it or not.

~ (SQ) ~

"So, what'd you think of Neal?" Mare drove her newly knock-free car down a long road toward campus. David had been able to repair it without much thought at all. He was good with machines.

"He was nice." Emma said, rubbing the end of her scarf between her middle finger and thumb absentmindedly. She had managed to hold up her end of the conversation with him very well. But it hadn't been hard. He really was nice.

"Nice? Ooookaaaay. I thought he was more than nice, Em. And he seemed to like you." The brunette drove along cautiously. It had started to rain and the road meandered this way and that through the woods.

Emma only grunted in response, gazing out the window.

"And can you believe he is Mr. Gold's son? You could've knocked me over with a feather when he said that. I can't imagine anyone willingly sleeping with him, let alone having his children." Mare laughed then and Emma smiled. It had been good to leave campus. It had given her a few moments of respite from her tormented heart.

Emma noticed that the car was moving even slower than Mare's cautious driving required and soon enough, the other girl had pulled off the road into a small parking lot near a popular hiking trail. No one was there now, of course, in the rain and dark of night. Mare shut off the car and turned to face a bewildered Emma.

"Ok. Spill. I want to know every detail of whatever happened to make you act like this. And we aren't leaving until I am satisfied."

Emma stared with her mouth agape. Who was this girl and where was mild mannered and delicate Mary Margaret.

"Listen Mare, I know you mean well but—"

"Nope. We are hashing this out. So you may as well tell me."

"I really don't feel comfortable—"

"I don't care. You are scaring me with the way you are acting. I have laid there listening to you cry yourself to sleep every night. I know something is wrong and I want to… _deserve_ to know what."

" _Deserve to_? Ok, Little Miss Privileged Upbringing. Just because daddy gives you everything you want doesn't mean _I_ have to. Jesus, Mare." Emma glared at her friend.

The other girl only waited patiently. "Go ahead, call me names. I don't care. I am spoiled. I know that. But I'm still not leaving until you tell me."

Emma studied her face in the dim light of the dashboard. She knew Mare meant business. Should she just tell her a story to appease her? No. She was done lying. It caused too much pain for everyone it touched. But she wasn't ready to tell the truth either.

"You go first." Emma said with a sigh. "Tell me a secret so I know you won't blab on me."

Mary Margaret frowned. "I don't have any secrets. And I don't tell other people's."

Emma laughed then. "You think you don't… but trust me, you do. You tell everything. I love you, Mare. But you can't keep a secret to save your life. So if you want to know what is wrong, then I need something really compelling to make me trust you with this."

Mary Margaret took a deep breath and waited for a moment, thinking deeply. "You… you promise you will tell me if I tell you one?"

"Yes. I promise. If the secret is big though. I don't want to hear you had Lily Page take your English exam for you. Everyone already knows that anyway."

"They do?!" Mare was indignant.

"Yeah. They do. So tell me a secret."

Another deep breath and Mary Margaret spoke so softly that Emma wasn't sure she had heard her. "I'm pregnant."

"I'm sorry, _what?!"_ Emma gasped.

"I said, I'm pregnant. And I'm not sure what is going to happen. My daddy will kill me. He will absolutely kill me. And they will kick me out of school. But Emma! Oh, Emma! I don't care. I love David so much and… I want to marry him. I want to have his children. I don't care if we have to live in that apartment above his mother's garage." Mary Margaret looked seriously at Emma then. "I haven't told anyone yet… except David… so please don't tell. I think I can hide it until graduation in May. So maybe I won't get expelled. But you cannot tell a soul."

Emma was gob smacked. In her wildest dreams she would never have guessed this was her roommate's secret. Pregnant at seventeen. She knew now she was going to have to come clean about what was bothering her.

"I promise, I won't tell. Anyone. You can trust me, Mare. Is there… is there anything I can do? Have you seen a doctor? Shouldn't you be like… resting or taking vitamins or something?"

"Yes. I have seen a doctor in town, but not my usual doctor. He's friends with daddy. I can't risk that. And I am taking the vitamins. They are huge. I can barely swallow one. It is disgusting. And no… there isn't anything you can do right now. Except be my friend." Wide green eyes beamed an affectionate gaze across the car at Emma. "Now. I told my secret… so…"

"Right. My secret. Um…" Emma took a deep breath. "Ok. I lied. I did meet someone in Boston."

"I knew it!" The pixie haired brunette cried in a self-congratulatory tone before seeing Emma's raised brow. "Sorry. Continue. I won't interrupt."

Another deep breath and Emma realized this story started way before meeting Regina. She decided it was time. She was going to spill the whole truth. "Before I came to school… well, you know I have been in foster care. But before I came here I had been placed with a really great family, the Hamilton's. They were wonderful. They made me feel like I was a part of their family. I've never had that before. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere or like anyone really loved me. Even when people said they cared, I thought it was a lie. But the Hamilton's… they were different. They made me feel… special. So I tried really hard to do what I should, to get my grades up and to make them proud. When I was invited to come here to Foxhaven, Ingrid—the mom—was so proud of me. She cried. It was just amazing. I felt like for the first time I was doing something right, you know?" Emma paused. She wasn't sure she could go on.

"I'm listening, Emma. Go on. What does this have to do with meeting someone in Boston?" Mare smiled sweetly and gave Emma an encouraging pat on the arm.

"Ok. I can do this. Just, hear me out, ok. Don't judge me." She waited for Mary Margaret to nod her agreement. "Ever since I was a little girl I have known I was different. I never felt like other girls. I never had crushes on little boys, I never cried over boy bands… but I did become obsessed with my female teachers or middle aged actresses. So by the time I was placed with the Hamilton's I had stopped looking for someone to be my mom. I was over that. But I hadn't stopped looking for a woman to love. Do you know what I mean, Mare?"

The girl only stared blankly. Then she nodded slightly. "I think… I think so. Are you telling me you are…"

"Gay. I'm gay. And before you freak out, I'm not attracted to you. In fact, I'm not into any girl at school. So just relax, ok?"

Mare nodded again, thankful for Emma's reassurance. She knew little about lesbians and she was frightened but also intrigued. She wouldn't judge Emma. She wanted to understand.

Emma went on. "So, while I felt like I was a part of the Hamilton family and it was amazing, the truth is… I had developed something of a crush on my foster mom. Ingrid was just… special. She is special. At the time I thought I was in love with her but I had never been in love so I didn't really know. Now I do. I just had a crush on her. It was innocent. But that day I got a letter inviting me to come to Foxhaven… I had no intention of coming. No way was I leaving Ingrid. I tried to tell her so but she was so excited for me. So proud of me. That night she came to tell me goodnight and I was crying because I was so upset about it all. She sat on my bed and tried to talk to me and I just threw my arms around her neck and wept. She was so sweet, petting me, telling me it was ok. I was already too old for foster care but they took a chance on me, you know? They wanted to help me. And how did I repay them? I tried to kiss her."

Emma paused to let that sink in. Mary Margaret said nothing, only now she reached out at took Emma's hand for support.

"So, of course, the kiss didn't happen. And Ingrid was as nice as ever. She didn't mention it again. But I knew… I knew I had ruined everything. She was still nice to me but there was a definite wall there that had never been before. So, I agreed to come to school. And here I am."

"Oh, Emma. I'm so sorry. That must have been awful for you."

"It was. It still is. And I've never told a soul except…" Emma's voice faded off. She had only ever told Regina and she had made it seem like it happened years ago to hide her age from the woman. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid_. Even her deepest secret had been colored with a lie.

"But… why is this coming up now? You've been fine all term until you went to Boston. Did you see Ingrid there?" Mare couldn't help the curious lilt in her voice.

"No. That isn't it. See, when Ruby and all you guys were talking about sex I knew you wouldn't understand my situation. So when everyone wanted me to go to Boston and meet someone, I thought ok, sure. What can it hurt? And while I was there I met someone. She was older and she assumed because I was using the fake ID that I was older too. I never corrected her. A lot happened between us but a one night stand turned into the most beautiful week of my life. But then she saw my Student ID for Foxhaven and ran before I could explain. I can't hold it against her. She probably thought I was some seventeen year old kid in high school. How was she to know I'm technically an adult?"

Emma sat quietly for a moment and just felt the comfort of Mary Margaret's hand in hers. She needed a friend and she was glad the girl was here for her.

"So, what is up with me is that I am gay. I like girls in general and I am in love with one in particular who I will never see again. And I can't even go home to my foster parents for the goddamn holiday because I tried to kiss my foster mom. How screwed up am I?"

Emma began crying then with earnest. Tears poured down her face until Mary Margaret pulled her into an awkward embrace over the console and whispered quietly soothing things to her.

"What am I going to do, Mare? I have made a total mess of things. What am I going to do?"

"Well, the first thing you are going to do is come home with me for Thanksgiving. And then… then we will figure something out. If I can have a baby… you can do this. We will do it… together."

"Together?" Emma said, looking up into the caring face of her best friend.

"Yes. You and me, against the world. Together."

~ (SQ) ~

By Wednesday, Emma had begun to feel a little better. She was still broken hearted and she was certain she would never be over the situation with Regina, but she was feeling like maybe… just maybe she could survive it now that she had someone to talk to about it. She was waiting for Mary Margaret to return from town where she'd gone to tell David goodbye for the weekend. They were leaving for Mare's home tonight and wouldn't be back to school until Sunday.

Emma was nervous about meeting the infamous Leo Blanchard, but she was also sort of excited. The way his daughter talked about him, she imagined him as a grandfatherly type, maybe even smoking a pipe and handing out sweets from the pocket of his cardigan. While Mare was only seventeen, her father was old.

 _"My father isn't that old, Emma. He's just… older. Distinguished." Mare frowned at Emma's continued insistence that her father was ready to play Santa without a costume._

 _"No. He's old, Mare. Sixty-four is ancient." Emma laughed as she ducked to miss the pillow her friend flung at her._

 _"He isn't old. And if you keep this up, I'll tell him you said he was and he'll probably hit you with his cane." A silly twinkle in Mary Margaret's eye made Emma laugh even harder until the two of them forgot what had been so funny and laughed until they were out of breath._

He'd been a businessman and lifelong bachelor until he met her mom, Eva. She was nearly fifteen years younger than him when they had met and eventually married. While Mary Margaret spoke of the marriage in terms of true love and fireworks and Hollywood worthy musical scores, Emma had her doubts. Leo was rich. Eva was young.

 _Regina was rich. You were young. And you fell in love._

Emma shook away the thought. She tried hard not to dwell on the woman. Tried not to think about the scar above her lip, the perfect curve between her waist and hip, the little sound she made just before she fell asleep. No. Emma didn't entertain thoughts of the woman… often. Just every single moment.

So, Leo Blanchard was already in his late forties by the time Eva gave birth to their little angel, Mary Margaret. She was their fourth try. All the previous pregnancies had ended in miscarriage and Eva had been ready to just give up. But Leo wanted a child, an heir, so one more time they tried and now the world was full of light and joy in the form of one pixie haired brunette.

"Are you ready, Emma?" Mare stepped into the room and dropped her books on the bed. "If we leave now, we will get home in time to settle before supper."

"Yeah. I'm ready. Got my bag packed and all my work for next week is done." Emma smiled, slipping her arms into the warm pea coat Regina had bought her. She had packed several of the outfits her love had purchased on that fateful week in Boston because she was sure they would better suit the Blanchard household than her skinny jeans and leather. As an afterthought, Emma slipped on the purple scarf. She hadn't worn it at all since her talk with Mary Margaret, trying to distance herself from Regina. But somehow she took comfort in it now. She needed to be close to Regina, even in this symbolic way, if she was going to enjoy her time in what would surely be an ornate and sprawling country estate the likes of which a foster kid could only dream about.

"Alright then, let's go. I cannot wait for you to meet my daddy!"

~ (SQ) ~

"Ok, so what about Coach Chambers?" Mary Margaret turned from the road onto another long, secluded stretch of asphalt.

"Nah. I think she's straight." Emma grinned.

"Straight? Emma. Seriously. She's the softball coach. She drives a truck. She has a roommate." Mare listed all the cliché's she could think of. Struck suddenly, she added. "Oh! Oh! And… and… she wears a silver ring on her thumb. She's definitely gay, right?"

Emma laughed raucously. "I don't know, Mare. Maybe. It isn't like we wear lapel pins to identify each other."

"But… but what about gay-dar? That's a thing right?" The brunette frowned in confusion.

Emma only laughed. "Yes, it's a thing. But maybe mine is underdeveloped. I don't know. I just think Coach Chambers is a little… sporty. But that doesn't equal gay. You can't judge a lesbian by her cover. Sometimes you meet gay women sitting in straight bars, wearing Louboutin's and drinking martinis. And sometimes she's wearing flannel and Converse and driving a U-haul. But that's just stereotypes."

The last forty-five minutes of their two-hour drive, Mary Margaret had been grilling Emma on all things LGBT. She wanted to know so she could understand and support her friend. She also wanted to know because she had so many questions about who was and was not a candidate for Emma's next love interest on campus. Emma had quite enjoyed the freedom to just be who she was and to talk about her life as if it were normal… acceptable. Of course it was, but she hadn't ever felt like it and her talk with Mare was further increasing her good mood. This weekend was going to be great.

"Here we are!" Mary Margaret's exuberant squeal filled the car.

Emma gasped. Just ahead of them, beyond high iron gates that opened on their own to let them in, was the biggest house Emma had ever seen. Not even on television had she seen a home like this. The drive-way circled around a garden with a small fountain and brought them right in front of the ornate entryway. The hedges and other greenery were perfect, even in the late New England fall. The grounds all around were lush and beautiful.

It was then that Emma realized the last turn they had taken hadn't been a road at all. It had been the beginning of the tree lined driveway leading to this moment. To the left of the house in the distance were some buildings—stables. Emma could see several horses being led into the structure. Back to the right she was sure she made out the edge of a tennis court beyond a gazebo. Mary Margaret was far richer than Emma had suspected. She thanked any god that would listen that she had packed the clothes Regina bought her. Even they may not be enough.

"Come on. Let's go in. Leave your bag. Frank will bring them in and Mrs. Bullary, the housekeeper, will see they are put into your room." Mary Margaret was already climbing the few stairs to the carved wood front door.

Almost as if my magic, the door swung open and an older and surprisingly distinguished man appeared. He smiled brightly at them both before opening his arms to Mare.

"Daddy!"

So this was Leo Blanchard.

"Hello, my precious angel. Did you have a good drive out? No trouble I assume?" The man hugged his daughter tight and Emma looked awkwardly away. She felt like she was invading a moment between father and child.

"Yes, daddy. It was wonderful. Perfect weather for a drive." She smiled with an inextinguishable light and Emma knew now why she was afraid of telling the man she was going to have a baby. "Daddy, I'd like you to meet my friend, Emma Swan. I hope you don't mind my bringing her to Thanksgiving unannounced."

Emma smiled shyly at the man and forced out "Hi."

Leo looked from his daughter to her friend and only smiled the more. "Of course I don't mind, angel. We will have more than enough food for us all and I am so glad to finally meet one of your friends besides that rambunctious Lucas girl. Hello, Emma and welcome to our home."

Leo stepped aside and let both girls lead the way. Emma was overwhelmed by the luxury all around her. If the Marquis had been compared to this it would've looked like a Motel 6. Everywhere her green eyes fell, Emma saw the trappings of wealth. And not garish or ornate wealth on display. No, this home was full of old money charm and subtlety. This home didn't boast about the Blanchard wealth, it only quietly assumed you knew and went on about its business.

Emma was so awestruck she had stopped listening to the chatter between her two hosts. She watched as a man nearly unseen brought her bags and Mare's in from the car. The car which was now being driven away to presumably a garage somewhere nearby. Emma's eyes followed the man as he was instructed in hushed tones by what must be Mrs. Bullary and soon up the stairs he went, her things in his hands. She wondered what sort of person she would've been if she'd have grown up in a place like this.

"Emma? Daddy wants to show me something in his office. It will only take a minute and then we will go up and freshen up for dinner. Mrs. Bullary? Will you take Emma's coat and show her to the sitting room?" With that, Mare disappeared down a hall with her father.

"Good evening, Miss Swan. I trust you had a nice drive up?" Mrs. Bullary's voice was polite and distant as if she were the owner of this home and not merely an employee. She slipped off Emma's pea coat but Emma held tight to the scarf, thankful it complimented her gray slacks and off white sweater. The woman opened a door and Emma went inside. Before she could answer the woman's question or say thank you, the door clicked shut behind her.

Emma walked about the room for a moment, afraid to sit down. Everything was so nice. There were several paintings on the wall, but oddly no personal photos or anything that suggested people actually lived here. It was strange. Maybe Emma didn't want wealth after all. But how could Mare ever think she would be happy in a garage apartment with a guy from town who never owned anything in his life?

 _You'd live like that with Regina._

Regina. Was this what kind of home she had to get back to that morning Emma had convinced her to stay with her at the Marquis? She didn't seem pretentious and stuffy like this place felt. No. She probably had a large home, but nothing like this. And she probably put her feet up on the sofa like she did when they watched "Splendor in the Grass" and she probably even cooked her own meals, though Emma was sure this house came with a chef.

"Emma? Sorry to be so long. Daddy wanted me to introduce you to my step-mother before dinner but I didn't want to. He wins. She's on her way now." Mary Margaret was speaking fast and quiet to get it all out before the other woman came through the door.

Emma turned to her friend with a supportive smile but it soon turned into a look of complete and utter shock. For there, just behind Mary Margaret was the last person Emma ever thought she would see.

"Emma, I'd like you to meet my step-mother. This is Regina Blanchard."


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Oh! I am so overwhelmed by the love for this story. Especially the last chapter. I guess you all were not expecting that little detail. I'm glad. I like a good shock._**

 ** _This was meant to be a shorter fic (and it will be shorter than Pictures of You, definitely) but I have gotten myself into a bit more complications than I mean to, lol. Oh well. More story for everyone!_**

 ** _If you enjoy this, please let me know. I really appreciate each of you for reading and commenting and sharing this on social media. You are precious._**

* * *

 _"Regina?"_

Emma wasn't sure she had even said the word. Maybe she had only thought it. How was this possible? How was Regina _here?_

The two women just stood staring in awkward silence as if Mare wasn't standing there, watching them curiously. Emma tried to speak again but her voice had fled the moment she realized Regina was really there. Brown eyes darted away from Emma as if suddenly realizing they were not alone.

"Yes, I am Regina. And you are welcome to call me that if you like. Mrs. Blanchard seems overly formal. Yes… well… We are so happy to have one of Mary Margaret's friends up for a visit." The woman finally spoke but it wasn't Regina—not _her_ Regina. She looked like Regina. She sounded like Regina. But it wasn't her Regina. This woman seemed smaller… lesser somehow. Her Regina had been a force of nature. This woman was scarcely a gentle breeze. What was happening? How was this possible? What was she saying?

 _Focus, Swan. Focus._

"Did you have a nice drive up from school?"

"I… um… we… yes… yes… it was… it was nice." Emma tried to focus. The room was fading to black in her periphery. Was she about to faint? No. But she might be ready to throw up. Regina was here? Regina was here and she was Mary Margaret's step-mother.

 _Regina is married?!_

Suddenly her lie about being in college rather than high school didn't seem such a big deal.

"Wonderful. Now, I am sure you two girls will want to freshen up before dinner. I'll speak to Mrs. Bullary and be sure there is a place set for you." Regina hurriedly stepped toward the exit. She seemed like a rabbit fleeing a predator in pursuit.

"I've already spoken to her. You needn't bother."

Who was talking now? Emma was staring so hard at Regina's retreating form, so overwhelmed at the sight of her, she had forgotten anyone else was in the room. Mare. It was Mare speaking now.

"Oh. Alright. Thank you, Mary Margaret. Then I will see you both shortly. It…" Regina hesitated as she made eye contact with Emma for only the second time since she had stepped into the room. "It is a pleasure meeting you, Emma. I hope you enjoy your visit. If you need anything, you have only to ask."

Emma stared into deep chocolate pools, searching for the fire, the passion she had seen just weeks ago. Instead she saw a caged animal, pleading with her, begging her to play along, to pretend that beautiful week had never happened. They were strangers. They'd never met before now. They'd never kissed. They'd never made love. They'd never shared dreams or whispered promises. No. They were strangers. Of course she would play along.

And it would be easy because the frightened woman peering at her now was definitely a stranger to Emma.

"Yeah. Yeah, good to meet you too, ma'am." Emma's mouth felt like cotton as the words fell out. Her heart that had been galloping like a horse toward the finish line at the first glimpse of her in the doorway was now falling like a hunk of lead toward her feet.

Regina was here. Regina was Mary Margaret's step-mother. Regina was married. Regina…

And just like that, she was gone.

"Sorry about that. I was hoping she wouldn't be here this weekend." Mare's words brought Emma back to the moment. "If only I should be so lucky." The pixie haired brunette was mid eye-roll when Emma finally tore her eyes from the door… the place where Regina had disappeared.

"Uh, why are you sorry? She seemed fine to me." Emma frowned. Why didn't Mare like her?

"Well, yeah, I guess she would seem fine to you. She's on her best behavior. She came in Daddy's office a minute ago and he gave her a stern warning to behave herself." There was a kind of sadistic glee in Mare's smile at the memory of what had been said in her father's office. "But, I'd prefer not to waste any more time on her. We'll already be looking at her all weekend across the dinner table as it is."

Emma watched Mare and tried to process her words. Regina was being scolded and told to behave? The same woman who had handed Gary his ego after she mopped the floor with it and sent him scurrying away like a whipped pup? It didn't make any sense.

"But you never even mentioned a step-mother before. Not in all these months we've been roommates. There's not even a photo of her in all the ones with your dad. That's… like a major plot point to leave out, Mare. Why didn't—"

Mary Margaret huffed and rolled her eyes again, this time at Emma.

"Oh, Emma. Let's discuss her later, ok? I'll fill you in after dinner. But the short version is… I haven't mentioned her because she isn't worth mentioning. I don't hate anyone on this planet but if I did… I'd hate _her."_ That last reference to Regina was spat out with so much venom, Emma for a moment didn't even recognize her friend. Was this some kind of bizarro world? Had she fallen down the rabbit hole? Maybe she was having a stroke.

"Ok. Later then." Emma was a raging inferno beneath her skin. She wanted to know now. She wanted to march out that door and confront Regina. She wanted to flee out the front door and never look back. "But for now, maybe you can show me my room. I think I'd like to lie down."

~ (SQ) ~

Just outside the door as Mary Margaret and Emma talked, Regina Mills Blanchard leaned against the wall trying to trying to catch her breath. Doubling over, she rested her hands on her knees and took deep, calming breaths. Her heart was beating wildly, her eyes glistening with tears. She was trembling like a new born colt. She wasn't all together certain she might not pass out.

Emma was here… her darling… beautiful, sweet Emma.

 _What am I going to do?_

 _~ (SQ) ~_

Emma sat on the edge of a huge poster bed and tried to take in her surroundings. This was only a guest room, one that was probably seldom used, and yet it was the nicest bedroom Emma had ever been in. She couldn't help the tiny feeling of resentment and jealousy that pressed its way forward at the thought. She'd never had a chance in life and here these people had more than they could ever need. Why hadn't someone like this reached out to help her?

She shook her head. She knew she was only trying to find something to be angry about in order to avoid thinking about the fact that somewhere under this same roof was Regina. Was she angry with the woman? No. Not really. How could she be? They had both lied about themselves and both had enjoyed a break from reality.

Yeah. Maybe that was how Emma could survive this. Just imagine that she and Regina both had stepped into a fantasy for a week, a short vacation from stressful lives. They had both enjoyed their time together, both gained pleasure from it. It meant nothing to either of them because it was just make believe. Right?

The blonde flopped roughly back on the bed and flung an arm across her face. Right except it was wrong. It hadn't been a vacation from reality for her. She had developed real feelings for Regina in those few short days. Feelings she had never felt for anyone. But it was clear that for Regina it had just been a walk on the wild side, away from her husband and family.

A light knock on the door was followed by its opening slowly before Emma could invite anyone to come in.

"Emma? Are you all set? I'm sure dinner must be ready by now and they are probably waiting on us." Mary Margaret hadn't changed clothes, but she had combed through her hair and touched up her make-up. Emma had done neither. Standing, she started towards the door. Almost as an afterthought, she slipped the purple scarf from her neck and dropped it on a chair. She didn't want Regina to see it and think it meant anything. It did. But she didn't want Regina to know.

Emma tried to listen to Mare as she told her something about the guest bath at the end of the hall and where the towels were. She tried to listen as they descended the steps as Mare gave her the plan for tomorrow and who would be in attendance. She tried to listen as Mare pointed out this room or that so Emma could get her bearings. But all she could focus on was the fact that every step she took was leading her closer to Regina again.

Entering the large dining room, Emma saw that four places were set at the table. Leo was sitting already at the head of the table, with Regina to his left. Two additional places were to his right. Emma tried not to look at Regina, but even here in this ridiculous situation, she was stunning. She hadn't really had a chance to consider her in their earlier meeting. Emma had been too shocked to register anything other than her existence. But now, she couldn't take her eyes off the woman.

Her dark hair was pinned back in a knot at the nape of her neck. Her gray dress was modest and somehow not drab despite the color. But the cut, the material, the fit… it made Emma remember momentarily every curve and dip of the soft flesh beneath it. Regina would look like a goddess in anything—or nothing at all. Her downcast eyes were smoky and her perfect lips painted a demure shade of red. Everything about her drew green eyes to her, and yet Emma noted no one else seemed to notice her presence at all.

While Emma's heart silently cried for Regina to look at her, brown eyes remained trained on her lap. Her hands were fidgeting with a linen napkin and a lipstick smudge on her wine glass told the blonde that the older woman had already had a glass before they had come in. Was she nervous too? Of course she was. She was the one with something to lose.

Leo was standing now as the girls approached the table. "Here we are, my angel and her lovely friend."

"I hope we haven't kept you waiting, daddy." Mare motioned for Emma to take the seat closest to her father, which meant she was sitting directly across from Regina who still hadn't looked up. Emma hesitated until Leo stepped around and pulled the chair out for her and then did the same for his daughter.

"Not at all. I've only just come in myself." He took his seat again and smiled gently at them both. He seemed nice enough to Emma. Why would Regina cheat on this man?

The meal commenced and Emma mostly sat in silence, smiling occasionally and nodding or giving a short answer to a question. Mostly, Leo Blanchard listened and laughed with his daughter. Emma noticed, Regina was no more a part of the conversation than the drapes. In fact, she was faded so far into the background of the domestic setting she may as well have been the drapes. Where was her vibrant commentary and sharp wit?

More than once the blonde saw a smirk on full lips and the woman looked as if she might say something, yet she remained quiet. Elegant hands carefully cut her grilled chicken breast into tiny bites, which was chewed much more than necessary as if Regina was pacing her consumption to match that of the other diners. Constant conversation caused their meal to stretch longer than hers but she seemed to have a system worked out to ensure she did not finish before them. Once or twice coffee irises had glanced up from her plate and locked onto emerald ones before one of them looked quickly away.

"So, Emma. Evidently you and my wife have something in common." Leo said, placing his wine glass down.

Startled by his choice of words, Emma's eyes shot up to meet Regina's. But before the blonde could form a suitable response, Regina's glass dropped from her fingers and spilled across the table. "Oh!" she cried as all eyes fell on her. "Clumsy me. I'm… I'm sorry." She quickly dabbed the liquid with her napkin.

"Dammit, Regina! How many glasses of wine have you had today?" Suddenly the gentle voice of Leo Blanchard took on a hard and hateful tone. Mrs. Bullary appeared then from seemingly thin air and cleaned the rest of the mess up, looking to Leo before refilling Regina's glass. He nodded his permission and only then did she pour.

"I… I said I'm sorry. It just slipped. And this is only my third glass." Emma marveled at the quietness of Regina's voice.

Emma noticed then the look of disgust on Mare's face and her rolling eyes. "Third my ass," she whispered through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, Emma. You'll have to forgive my wife. She is quite clumsy." Leo's tone was kind again as he looked back to her. "As I was saying, the two of you seem to have something in common."

"Oh? We do?" Emma said, trying to seem as casual as possible despite the rising bile in her throat.

"Yes. Mary Margaret tells me you are planning to attend Tufts in the fall. Regina was a student there for a time, although she didn't finish her degree." The man rolled his eyes then and Emma knew where Mare had learned it.

"You went to Tufts?" Emma addressed Regina for the first time all night.

Brown eyes looked up from her lap with a smile. "Yes, I was—"

"She went for a few semesters but she dropped out. I don't know why I was forced to pay off those student loans with nothing to show for it. But I am sure you will do better than that, Emma. What will you study?" Leo cut off his wife as if he hadn't heard her speak at all.

"I plan on entering the clinical psychology program. I am torn though. Part of me would like to become a social worker and really make a difference in the world. There are so many kids in foster care who need an advocate and unfortunately most social workers are so overworked they can't dedicate much time to them individually." Emma spoke without taking a breath, wondering if she too would be cut off. But instead, Leo and Mare seemed to hang on her words.

"Well, it is admirable to want to give back, Emma. But a career as a psychologist, especially if you continue your education, could be quite lucrative. Always follow the path to wealth. You can do more good with money than without it." The man seemed sincere in his assertion, but something about it made Emma frown. Money wasn't everything.

"Of course, none of this is relevant unless I am accepted. I've been working hard in school and trying to round out my resume so to speak. I'm in some clubs and I volunteer on campus. But I feel at a slight disadvantage because of my age." Emma tried to see if there was any reaction from Regina as she spoke. "I mean, it isn't everyday someone applies for scholarships as a twenty year old freshman."

Brown eyes shot up immediately and bore into green. The look of confusion was evident. "You're twenty? But I thought you were in Mary Margaret's class."

"I am in her class. You may not know this, but I was homeless for a time and I was so far behind in school that I started my senior year at Foxhaven at nineteen." Emma watched genuine relief spread across the other woman's face.

"My angel did mention your unfortunate circumstances to me, Emma. As awful as I am sure that was, it may work to your benefit. You should include that in your entrance essay. Everyone loves a story of overcoming difficulty." The man smiled and patted her on the arm, drawing her eyes away from a silent conversation with Regina.

"Oh daddy, I am sure Emma would prefer to get into school on her own merit, not because of some hard luck story. Right, Emma?" Mare smiled brightly at her friend.

"Right. I'd rather not use what I've been through to get a pity vote, you know? If someone wants me, I want it to be real… not out of pity." Emma hoped her words were understood by everyone around the table in the way she intended.

Leo clapped a hand onto her shoulder and squeezed. "Well, I am glad to hear that. A girl with real integrity. I'm glad my Mary Margaret has you for a roommate. I bet I can count on you to keep her straight."

A very distinct giggle sounded across the table then. Emma turned to see Regina and Mary Margaret looking at each other. Mare's green eyes were full of confusion, Regina's full of fear. She hadn't meant to laugh out loud.

"What's funny, Regina?" Leo said, his tone again harsh.

"Nothing, Leo. I just… I suppose I found it humorous to think our Mary Margaret would need anyone to help keep her in line. She always seems to make such good choices on her own." Regina tried to cover her mistake though her cheeks were colored red.

Mare still frowned toward the woman and Leo merely shrugged and looked back to Emma. "Well, why don't we all retire to my study? I'd like to talk more about your plans, Emma. I know several men on the board of trustees at Tufts so it is possible I could put in a good word for you."

"May we have a small sherry and light a fire, daddy?" Mary Margaret was already standing and following her father toward the door.

"Of course, my angel. Anything for you."

"Are you coming, Regina?" Emma stood waiting for the woman to rise from her seat.

She shook her head no and opened her mouth to respond when Leo's voice again interrupted. "Leave her be, Emma. I'm sure she has some book to read or whatever it is she does with her time."

He waved a dismissive hand toward his wife and looped his arm around his daughter's shoulders, guiding her down the hall. Emma stood looking at Regina for a moment, unsure what to do.

"You'd better go. If you stay you will only get me into trouble for keeping you." Regina stood then and started toward the door at the opposite end of the room. "After all, I have a book or something to attend to."

~ (SQ) ~

Emma didn't see Regina again that night. After a boring chat with Mare and her father, the two girls had gone into a media room and watched a movie. By the time it was over, all Emma wanted to do was go to bed and wake up in the morning to find this was all a dream.

 _"Goodnight, Em. Don't worry about getting up at a particular time tomorrow. I'm going with daddy for a drive in the morning." Mare stopped outside the door as her friend went into her bedroom._

 _"A drive? Are you going into town?"_

 _Mare shrugged. "No. He wants to show me some property he cleared out on the western end of the estate. He's tired of the stables being so close in to the house so he's relocating them there. He wanted my opinion, I guess. But when we get back, we will watch the parade on TV and relax until dinner, ok?"_

 _"Um, yeah. Sounds good. So I'll just sleep in then." Emma tried to fake a smile though in her mind she was wondering how she would avoid facing Regina alone while her hosts were away. "I didn't know you liked horses. You never mentioned them either."_

 _Mary Margaret frowned. "I don't like them. They are huge and they stink. These horses belong to Regina. And she's pretty pissed daddy wants to move them but… oh well. He wants them away from the house."_

 _Emma nodded. "So, is now a good time to hear why you seem to dislike her so much?"_

 _"Not really. I'm tired and I think I shouldn't have eaten that last bit of pie during the movie. I over did it and it isn't even Thanksgiving yet." Mare started toward her room but called back over her shoulder. "I promise though. I will tell you all about it… eventually."_

Nearly two hours later, Emma found herself just staring up at the ceiling in the darkness. The night outside was darker than she was used to, perhaps because the house was so far from anything out in the country, but there was a dim light shining in the room from a nightlight in the corner. She wondered if the nightlight was Mary Margaret's doing or if Mare had learned to keep a nightlight from them being in her house.

The sound of her door opening had Emma sitting bolt upright in the bed.

"Regina? What are you doing?"

"Shhh. Not so loud. They'll hear you." Regina padded quietly toward the bed in her nightgown and bare feet.

"Not so loud? Are you crazy? What are you doing in here?" Emma pulled the covers protectively up to her chin as the woman approached and sat on the edge of the bed, facing the blonde.

"I wanted to talk to you without an audience and this seemed like the best way. I haven't slept all night for worrying about what you must think… Emma, I'm so sorry—"

Emma cut her off. "Sorry? Jesus, Regina. This isn't the time or place for this. Won't _your husband_ notice you missing from the bed? You need to get out of here."

Regina laughed a small, bitter laugh. "I assure you, my husband wouldn't notice if I sprouted wings and flew away from here. Besides, we haven't shared a bed in many years so as far as he knows I'm asleep. Emma, please. Listen to me. I never would've…" Regina looked away, embarrassment in her dark eyes. "I never would've gone to your hotel if I'd known you were a student. And certainly not if I had known you were Mary Margaret's friend. You have to believe I thought you were an adult. I don't prey on young women—"

Emma held up a hand to silence the other woman. "I know, Regina. I didn't think you were a perv. I should've told you after the first night that I wasn't at university. You deserved to know that. But I'm not a seventeen year old kid. I'm as much an adult right now as when you thought I was at Tuft's. So just… forget about that. I feel bad for misleading you but… I guess we are even on that, huh?"

Regina's eyes fell closed and she pulled her feet up onto the bed under her. "Emma… I know I didn't tell you about Leo but—"

"But what? But what, Regina? You are married! Even if I was a senior at Tuft's… you have a husband. Why didn't you tell me? If I was just a fling for you, I could've lived with that. Maybe I wouldn't have let my heart get involved." Emma tried to keep her voice low, but even her whisper sounded loud in the sleeping house.

"Your heart? Emma what… what does that mean?" Regina's voice reflected the shiver in her body. The room was cold against her thin nightgown.

Emma took a deep breath and scooted to the other side of the large bed. "Get under here before you freeze."

Regina hesitated, looking back to the closed door to the hallway. Had she locked it behind her? Emma patted the blank space beside her. "Come on. It's cold and I can't talk to a popsicle… even a married one."

Finally relenting, Regina slipped from the bed and crawled under the covers. The spot where Emma had been laying was warm and already she began to relax. "What did you mean, about your heart?"

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything, Regina. I just wish we had both been honest before." Emma's voice was surprisingly calm as she felt the other woman's closeness.

"I know. Me too. But I need you to know I am not some horrible person, no matter what the princess might have told you. Her father… well, he… this isn't a real marriage, Emma. I don't love him. I never have loved him. And I haven't picked anyone up in a bar like that in… well, only ever once in the entire time we've been married. So, no matter what you think, believe me when I say I wasn't out trolling for an affair when we met. I wasn't." Regina's eyes were wet with unshed tears, and her voice was pleading with Emma to understand.

"I don't think that. To be honest I don't know what to think. And Mare hasn't said a word about you… yet. Although I think she will. She's never even told me she had a step-mother until she introduced us."

Now it was Regina who rolled her eyes. "No, I suppose she wouldn't. I'm not exactly her favorite person. When she was younger, I tried very hard to have a relationship with her but… she just wouldn't let me in. Did you know I used to baby sit for her when her mother was alive? I was just a teenager back then but she was always special to me. But after I married her father… well, things are obviously different now."

Emma just stared at the woman before her. They were facing each other under the covers, a respectable distance apart, but despite the unusual circumstances, all she wanted was to kiss her. What kind of reaction was that? She should be angry. She should be hurt. She should be running away from this soap opera looking for a place to happen… but instead she felt her own hand betraying her brain at reaching out to touch Regina's cheek in the darkness.

"Emma… don't." Regina's words commanded her to stop but her body language, her voice, begged her to continue. "I can't take it. Not unless you mean it, my darling. This is wrong, isn't it?"

Emma's fingers made gentle contact with the flushed face before her and both of them sighed into the night. "Yes, it's wrong. But I can't help it. I've missed you so much. You looked so beautiful at dinner tonight. Always so beautiful."

Chocolate eyes fell closed as Regina pressed into the hand against her face. She seemed for a moment like a starving man at the first taste of food—relishing the sensation and yet somehow afraid to trust it would be enough to satisfy his need. "Emma… This is all so complicated. I want to explain everything so you can understand. But… I can't think of anything to say except I—"

"Emma? Emma? Are you awake? Can I come in? I thought I heard voices." Mary Margaret called from the door, jiggling the knob. Yes. Regina had locked it.

The two women in the bed stared wide-eyed at each other. Another bubble burst, another moment destroyed. This wasn't Boston. Emma was a student, Mare's roommate. Regina was her step-mother. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Yeah, I'm awake. One second and I'll get the door." Emma called quietly as Regina slipped from the bed, already looking for a place to hide.

She smirked, looking more like herself in that moment than Emma had seen all day. "The closet. How ironic." She disappeared behind the door as Emma let her friend in.

"Who were you talking to?" Mare said making her way across to the bed Regina had just been lying in.

"Um, no one." Emma shrugged. At the brunette's disbelieving look, she went on. "Actually, if you must know, I was talking to myself. I couldn't sleep and it is a throwback from my foster care days. Sort of, self-soothing in a way."

Mary Margaret immediately looked ashamed for pushing Emma to tell something about her past. "Oh. I see. Well, I couldn't sleep either. It's too quiet here, isn't it? Nothing like school. Come on, I'll keep you company a while."

"Uh…" Emma looked from the place where Mare was crawling into the bed to the slightly ajar closet door where Regina was hiding. "I… uh… I hate to keep you up. I'll try to sleep. It's all good."

"Nonsense. I can't sleep either. And I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you about my wicked step-mother." The girl scooted over as Emma had done such a short time ago and patted the place for Emma. "Come on. Please?"

Looking again to the closet, Emma knew she had no choice than to comply. "Sure. Ok. But, I wish you would lay off the name-calling about Regina. I haven't noticed her doing anything wrong since I got here. Why are you so mad at her?"

"I'm not mad at her. She just… she's a gold digger." Mare shrugged as she settled into the bed. "She was my baby sitter when I was small. And when my mother died daddy needed her more often to help out with me. She saw an opportunity to better her station in life and took it."

Emma frowned deeply then. "What? What do you mean?"

The girl sighed loud and long, blowing air out her elfish little nose. "I mean… she took advantage of my daddy. She came in here, week in and week out, young and beautiful, flaunting herself around. Daddy was lonely and heartbroken over losing mother and Regina manipulated the situation to her benefit. Mother had only been gone a year when they married. I'll never forgive her for that."

"So you are mad because you think she married your dad for his money?" Emma was not surprised. The thought had occurred to her that no woman married a rich man thirty years her senior for love.

"I _know_ she married him for his money. Her father used to be a member at the club. He was well off, not like us but not exactly poor. And his wife… oh god, Regina's mother was the worst. She was from a working class family in town and didn't know the first thing about people with money. Anyway, Regina's father lost everything in a bad business deal. They moved into this little house across town and never came back to the club. But daddy felt bad for them and let Regina sit for me. So when she saw a way to get back into the social circle she was ostracized from, she took it." Mary Margaret spoke in such a superior tone, it was as if she had forgotten the girl she was sharing a bed with was even worse off than Regina's family probably ever was.

"I see. Wow. I had no idea. How long have they been married?" Emma knew she should be ending this conversation and getting rid of Mare. She knew Regina could probably hear every word they were saying. But she wanted to know.

"Ten years. God, can you imagine? Ten years my daddy has endured this sham of a marriage." Mare shook her head against her pillow. "It was ok at first. He seemed happy. But I'd say for the past eight of the ten years it has been hell. He's miserable but he won't divorce her because… well, in his grief he neglected to get her to sign a prenup before they married so… I guess he'd rather be married to her than give her half our money."

Emma let the words settle into her. None of this sounded like that strong, confident woman sipping martinis and teaching her the art of pleasing a woman. Emma felt her face pink all the way to her ears at the thought of some of Regina's lessons. It just didn't make any sense. Why stay with Leo and be so clearly unhappy if she would get money in the divorce?

"So, I despise her. For marrying daddy, for trying to replace mother, for making us all so miserable for all these years… for everything she is and says and does." Mare ended her story as if she had given Emma all the information she would ever need on the subject.

The girl yawned big and stretched. "I'm getting so sleepy now, Em. Can I just sleep here with you?"

Emma glanced toward the closet and wondered if Regina could see her confused face in the dim light. "Uh, yeah. Sure. You can stay."

~ (SQ) ~

It didn't take long before Mary Margaret was sleeping soundly, snoring lightly into her pillow. When Emma was sure it was safe, she slipped from the bed and padded to the closet door. Pulling it slightly open, she saw Regina there, her face marred with tears.

"You don't believe her, do you? You don't think I… that I would ever… oh my darling. Please tell me you don't think so little of me, Emma. I _am not_ a gold digger. It isn't like that at all." The brunette was shaking where she stood.

Emma stepped into the closet, closing the door softly behind her. In a moment, she had engulfed the other woman in an embrace. "Shhh, don't cry. Of course I don't think that. I honestly don't know what to think, but I don't think you did what she said. Hush now, don't cry."

Regina fell hard against Emma's chest and tried to control her tears. Her arms slipped around Emma's waist and drew her closer. The younger woman tightened her own grip and whispered soothingly into her hair. Suddenly, Regina looked up into green eyes and before Emma could comprehend what was happening, she crashed their lips together in a needy and emotional kiss.

Regina's hands fisted the back of Emma's sleep shirt and her tongue sought to plunder the treasure of the other woman's mouth. Groaning quietly, she allowed the intrusion and tangled one hand in silken black locks, the other slipping below the small of Regina's back, pushing the shorter woman up and into her body. For several moments the kiss went on, desperate and passionate. But then Emma remembered where she was, who was in her arms and who was sleeping a few feet away.

Breathless, she broke the kiss. "Regina, stop. We can't do this. We can't."

"Right. You're right. She might wake up." Regina loosened her grip on Emma slightly and glanced toward the closed door of the closet.

"No. Regina… I…" Emma took a deep breath. "I don't mean we can't do this now. I mean we can't do this at all. Ever. Mary Margaret is my friend. And whether you want to be or not… you are still married to her father. I want to hear your side of things. I do. I want to know what happened and why you are here… why you were in that bar in Boston. But this… this is wrong. Too many people would be hurt. We can't."

Emma watched as a tidal wave of different emotions washed across Regina's face. Sadness, disappointment, fear… all in dark brown orbs. But the one that she settled on, the one that frightened Emma most of all, was practiced indifference. All emotion fled, the light in her eyes was extinguished, and Regina freed herself from Emma's embrace.

"I understand. And I'm sorry. You needn't worry about the truth, darling. It wouldn't matter anyway. And don't worry about… this. I won't throw myself at you again. I… I truly am sorry. Goodnight, Emma." She stepped then to the door and opened it softly. Seeing the girl still asleep in the bed, she made her exit and disappeared into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you so much for all the kinds words on the previous chapter. I am excited about the way this story is going and I love the ending most of all. I haven't written it yet... but I can see it in the cinema of my mind and I can't wait to share it with you all.**_

 _ **This chapter will for the first time really share what is going on with Regina. Some of that isn't pleasant but I think it is important to tell. I don't think it neatly wraps everything up with a bow. I don't think it absolves Regina of any blame or wrongdoing. We love Regina in canon because she is flawed and real. My Regina is too. So take that into consideration as you read some of her decisions.**_

 _ **If you like this, please leave me a note and let me know. I enjoy hearing from you. It really does inspire me to write and post more often. ;)**_

* * *

 **Monday**

Emma Swan sat in a worn arm chair in the corner of the library, pretending to study for her upcoming anatomy midterm. But instead of the exhaustive notes on muscles and organs and bones, her mind was on another kind of anatomy all together. The anatomy of a lie. The anatomy of a betrayal.

The anatomy of a brunette she couldn't get her mind off of no matter how hard she tried.

Last Monday she had been depressed. Last Monday she had no idea where Regina was or if she would ever see her again. Last Monday she had been ignorant of so many things and in a way the old cliché had been true. Ignorance had been its own kind of bliss.

But, oh the difference a few days could make.

 **Last Thursday… Thanksgiving Day**

Emma had awoken earlier than she wanted to as Mary Margaret tried to slip quietly from the bed. In truth, the blonde hadn't slept that much to begin with. Her mind was going in a thousand different directions. The last few days had been one revelation after another and she was having a hard time processing it all.

As Mare eased off the bed and out the door, Emma had laid still with her eyes closed as though she was still asleep. She was glad Mare and her father were going away for a bit in a way. She needed some time to herself. And maybe a part of her was glad because it meant she would be alone in the house with Regina.

Sure, last night she had been so confident… so sure when she ended the kiss that it was a mistake. Emma had been through a lot in her life. Bouncing from home to home, facing abuse and neglect, even living on the street… it hadn't hardened her as it did so many. But the lifestyle had made her grow up fast. She had felt much older last night, decided that hurting people wasn't the right thing. She had felt like she was the adult telling a frail and trembling Regina that this—whatever _this_ was—couldn't happen.

But now… with the soft yellow light of morning trying to leak in through the small parting of the curtains on the large window to her right, Emma wasn't as confident. What was she thinking sending Regina away? It was just so complicated. Mare wasn't exactly casting herself in the best light this weekend. In fact, if Emma really thought about it, Mare had been a selfish, spoiled, entitled brat most of the time she had known her.

 _But she has her good qualities too._

Emma thought of how kind Mare always was to her. She thought of the way they had laughed and talked in the light of her night light so many times before all this started. Mare had made Emma feel like she belonged at Foxhaven. She was her friend. Her only friend. And she knew too much—too many of Emma's secrets—to just throw her away.

But Regina…

Emma took a deep breath. Something in this house had been amiss since she arrived. The way the family and to an extent even the servants had treated Regina had been difficult to watch. The woman under this roof wasn't the same powerful, sexy, confident woman she had known in Boston. She was broken down… resigned to her place, quietly in the corner.

Last night though, when she had come in, crawled into the bed, even crying in the closet, Emma had seen bits of the powerful creature she had come to love. _Love?_ Emma squeezed her eyes shut tight and pressed the heels of her hands into them. _Yeah… maybe I do love her._

She had spent the night going over and over these same thoughts. What about Mare? What about Leo? What about school? Would she be in trouble? What about Regina? Why was she still with this man? Was she just after the money?

Emma sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She had heard Mare heading past the door and down the stairs just a bit ago. If she had to be awake, the blonde decided to have a hot shower, get dressed and maybe wander around the grounds for a few minutes. The cold morning air might do good to clear her head.

~ (SQ) ~

Regina sat curled into an oversized chair in her room. It didn't really match the décor of the room nor of the house itself but maybe that was why she liked it so much. It felt like her. It didn't belong.

She'd been awake all night, just sitting in this chair listening to the night sounds around her. After lying in bed for hours thinking of Emma just down the hall, she had decided to take the bull by the proverbial horns and go explain herself to the girl.

 _She isn't a girl, Regina. She's twenty years old._

When she had seen Emma's school ID that day in Boston, cold fear had gripped her. Fear… and self-loathing. And perhaps a little bit of disgust. For one thing, the card meant Emma was underage. It meant she was a child and Regina had taken advantage of her. That was the last thing she ever wanted to do.

But it had also meant Emma was a cohort and maybe even a friend of _the princess_ and that was almost as terrifying as the prospect of her being underage. So she had done the only thing she knew to do. She had run.

For the first week she had been on her best behavior. Every time the phone rang or someone knocked on the door she had braced herself for the other shoe to drop. She knew Emma had no idea who she really was but there was always a possibility.

But after nothing happened in those first days, Regina began to relax. Emma wasn't going to come. She wasn't going to find her. She would never see her again.

That thought had brought about relief but it had also caused Regina's heart to sink. She would never see her again. It was for the best. She was a student. Probably a seventeen year old girl—one who'd been through so much already according to her stories of foster care—who had trusted her and she had taken advantage of her… stolen her innocence.

Regina had then spent several days locked in her room, crying for what she had done. When she had believed she was dealing with an adult, she had felt like a hero. She was giving this woman something she had never been offered. Choice… control… and care.

When Regina had touched Emma that first night, it had been with tender touches. If Emma was intent on giving herself away, Regina was determined that it be something beautiful and passionate and memorable for its wonder. Not like hers had been. Not full of fear and pain and robbery. Yes, robbery. She had been robbed of her innocence. He had stolen… taken from her the most precious moments of her life with no regard for how she felt or what she wanted.

But Emma wasn't a woman. She was a girl. And Regina was no better than Leo… taking what she wanted from someone who couldn't fight back.

 _She's twenty. She's not a child. You didn't do anything wrong._

So, she had gone to explain herself to the young woman down the hall. She had expected to be dismissed. She had expected anger and rebuke. She had even prepared herself for Emma to refuse to listen at all. But she hadn't readied herself for understanding green eyes or gentle fingers on her cheek. God, she had almost told her she loved her.

 _I'm not sure I even know what love means anymore._

But then, of course that insipid little brat had come in and that had been that. She'd been relegated to the closet to hide like she had something to be ashamed of. Like her feelings for Emma once more were wrong and couldn't be exposed to the precious perfect light of daddy's angel.

Regina growled, remembering. She'd tried so hard for so long to earn that girl's love. To prove that she could be a friend if not a mother. And what had she gotten in return? Treated worse than a servant.

But then, Emma had come to her in that closet and held her, soothed her. She hadn't realized how starved she was for caring human contact until Emma had come along. And no more so than when she reappeared in her life now. Her arms were strong, her voice was so soft against her hair.

 _And then you fucked everything up._

Regina dropped her head down onto her knees that were drawn up into the chair against her chest. She had kissed Emma then. It had felt like a cool drink of water after years in the desert. And Emma had kissed her back. Suddenly the closet was an oasis and they were vagabond wanderers finding shelter, finding peace… finding home.

And as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Emma had pushed her away. Emma had chosen Mary Margaret and friendship over her. The rejection stung. Was that how little it all meant to her? That she could just throw her aside in favor of _doing the right thing_?

Regina sighed again. Of course Emma would want to do the right thing. She wasn't like Regina. She had been through so much in her life and yet she managed to still choose the right, to consider other people, to make decisions based on more than her own wants and needs. Emma was good. Regina couldn't be mad at her for it. She couldn't even be hurt over it. Emma was good and she was doing what good people do. Regina wasn't good.

She wanted to tell them all to go to hell. She wanted to break free from this self-imposed prison, this gilded cage and run free. She wanted to take Emma's hand and escape the lives they had been given regardless of the consequences. But Emma had made it clear, that wasn't in the plans for them. So she did what she did best, what years of neglect and hurt had taught her, she shut off her emotions. She refused to feel the searing pain in her chest. She slipped her mask of indifference in place and left the room.

Now, Leo and the only thing he loved more than his money, his angel, were gone for the morning. She'd heard them slip away a bit ago. She'd heard Leo instructing Mrs. Bullary not to hold lunch for them. She'd heard the car brought around and heard it drive away.

She decided to dress and go down to the stables for a while. Seeing Rocinante would help. Brushing him, saddling him, riding away for an hour or two… the morning air would help clear her mind.

 _Time to get dressed, Regina. Life goes on._

~ (SQ) ~

After a hot shower, Emma had dressed and gone downstairs. She'd eaten some fruit and a bagel that Mrs. Bullary had put out for her. The woman had informed her that Mr. Blanchard and his daughter would be away until after lunch which would be served promptly at twelve. Emma didn't have to ask to know she was expected to be there and on time.

Though she had looked around and loitered near the stairs for a while in hopes of seeing Regina, she never did. So she pulled her pea coat from the front closet, wrapped her scarf tight and went out the door. She planned on wearing an outfit tonight from her arsenal of nice things Regina had bought her, but for her exploring she had chosen her skinny jeans and a sweater with boots. The coat didn't feel as comfortable as her leather would have, but it was all she had at the moment.

Stepping into the cool morning she looked to her left and then to her right. To the left was a path leading to the pool, the tennis court and, according to Mare, a wide rose garden which would be dead this time of year. To her right in the distance she could see the stables. There was a slight chance Regina would be there so she knew it would be best to go to the garden.

She didn't always do what was best.

Emma felt the tightening of her lungs as the cold air burned into them. It was much cooler today than it had been yesterday. But she found it exhilarating. As she neared the stable, she saw an attractive man leading a horse out of the building toward a fenced area. He raised a hand in greeting to her.

"Good morning. I'm going to put Stella in the circle and I'll be back. Thinking of riding today?" His accent threw Emma for a loop. She hadn't expected that.

"Uh, no. Not really. I just wanted to see the horses. I've never ridden before." Emma smiled shyly.

"Well, that is something we will have to remedy right away, dear." Regina's voice wrapped around Emma like a blanket as the woman stepped from the large door the man had just come through. "Graham, perhaps instead of exercising Stella this morning, saddle her up for Miss Swan."

"Yes, ma'am. And shall I saddle Rocinante for you as well?" The man—Graham—turned to lead Stella back to the building.

"If you will, that would be wonderful. I've brushed him already." Regina smiled as the man passed and turned to Emma with hopeful eyes.

"Regina, I… I don't know if I can ride a horse. I've never done it before and that looks… dangerous." Emma watched as Graham and the large horse disappeared from sight.

"I haven't found inexperience—nor danger for that matter—to be an issue for you in the past. Come on. Stella is a very patient and gentle girl. I think you will get along fine with her." Regina smirked and turned to go into the barn.

"Yeah, but… I mean… she's huge. I can't… I don't… Regina. I don't know what to do." Emma's voice sounded terrified of the animal. Looking at them in the stalls was a fun way to pass the morning. Riding one was not something she wanted to try.

"Don't worry. I'll teach you." Regina smirked again and Emma realized for the first time that this woman, preparing to ride away on her horse, this was the woman from the bar. "Lesson one, don't hold the reigns too tightly or Stella will rebel."

"Ok, but…" Emma stepped closer and was nearly whispering. "What about our discussion last night? I mean… is this… is this ok?"

Regina's eyes softened in a way that made Emma's heart clench. She whispered back, "Yes, darling girl. This is ok. I think we can behave ourselves for an hour, don't you?"

Regina winked then and entered a stall. Emma watched Graham work, adjusting straps and soothing Stella. In a moment, Regina emerged leading a behemoth from the stall. His chestnut coat was shining and his black eyes were intense but gentle. Regina patted the animal on his powerful neck and her eyes sparkled with admiration.

"This is my baby, Rocinante. Can you say hello, boy? This is my friend, Emma."

Emma stared in wonder. If Stella was big, Rocinante was a giant.

"Come here, Emma. Say hello." Regina reached for Emma's hand and placed it gently on the horse's nose. The animal snorted and shook pulling away. "Don't be afraid. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He'll sense your nervousness and it will make him nervous. So relax."

Emma tried to relax. She really did. Her heart was racing from the sheer size of the beast beneath her hand but also for the closeness of the woman leading him. Her voice was soft and against the harsh backdrop of scents from animals and hay, her perfume was filling Emma's mind with memories.

"Now, there. See. He's a baby. Harmless as a dove, my sweet boy." Regina cooed and patted and let go of Emma's hand. The blonde began to stroke the animal's nose gently.

"Hey there, buddy. I'm Emma." She smiled as the horse nuzzled into her touch and blew out another breath through his nostrils.

"Very good, Emma. You _are_ a fast learner." Regina watched Emma with smiling eyes. "Now, let's go meet Stella."

The two of them, with Graham saddling Regina's horse, interacted with Stella for a few minutes as they had with Rocinante. Stella was smaller and darker than the other horse. She had a small patch of white right in the center of her head that Emma's fingers circled lightly.

"That's her star. That's why I called her Stella." Regina reached up to touch the patch of white with Emma.

"Stella?" Emma frowned.

"Yes, dear. Stella means star. And the truth is, I am quite a fan of Tennessee Williams and Stella is a character in one of his plays." Regina stepped toward her own horse then. Graham was finished and only observing them now from a few feet away with curiosity.

" _A Streetcar Named Desire._ I love that movie." Emma smiled despite her growing fear at the idea of climbing on the animal.

Regina tilted her head to the side and looked at Emma as if she were the breaking dawn after a long night. "A fan of old movies? You are full of surprises, Miss Swan." Her voice was flirtatious and light.

Emma blushed. Of course Regina knew she loved old movies, but the teasing lilt of her voice made the blonde's heart beat skip. Emma started to give a sassy reply but her breath left her suddenly. Regina too hold of the saddle and in one smooth move, she mounted Rocinante and sat back, settling against the beast with ease and precision. Her strength, her leg muscles visible through the tight riding pants, and the power and joy in her face made Emma light headed.

"Graham? Do help our guest. She may need a boost." Regina smirked and Emma knew… Emma knew that the woman was aware of how she looked sitting atop that large creature.

And goddammit, the confident knowledge of her own sexiness made her even more attractive as far as Emma was concerned.

Graham was by her now with a crate in his hand. Helping Emma up, he instructed her quietly and got her into her seat properly. Just before he stepped back from her, he whispered quietly "Be careful, Miss Swan."

Emma wondered for a moment if he meant with Stella or with Regina. Either way, she nodded her agreement with his advice and slowly followed Regina into the open air.

~ (SQ) ~

The two of them had taken some time to walk the horses slowly around in front of the stables. Once Emma seemed comfortable and Regina was sure she could hold her own, they two had went off on a path through the pristine woods. Emma was so focused on doing everything right that she hadn't really noticed how long they had been riding or that they hadn't spoken a word since leaving the barn.

As they came to a clearing where the tree line broke, Emma looked around. They were in an open field that was lined with rows of several apple trees. Regina dismounted with the same ease and grace she had shown in the barn and led Rocinante to a small hitching post. She picked one of the few remaining apples from a nearby tree and rubbed it against her riding coat before taking a bite. Then she offered the rest of the fruit to her horse.

Emma clambered down with decidedly less grace and led Stella as she had seen Regina do. Her legs were burning, especially her inner thighs that had been gripping the sides of her horse. It took her a moment to feel confident enough to try to walk toward the post and the tree. Regina smiled knowingly.

"The first time can really tire out your legs. But that goes away with time." Reaching for the reigns, Regina tied up Stella and repeated her act with an apple. "Did you know, these are my apple trees?"

Emma shook her head, looking around her at the trees.

"I used to personally take care of them, but now I have someone to do that for me. I'm not as into them as I once was. It started with just one tree my daddy bought a very long time ago. Now I only ever come out here with the horses." Regina sat under a tree and leaned into it. She'd picked another apple and took a bite.

Emma sat beside her, closer than necessary, shoulders touching. "Horses, apples… so many things I didn't know about you."

Regina barked out a mirthless laugh. "Yeah. The horses and apples are the big news for the weekend."

Emma shrugged. "Well, they are the only things I've learned so far that really matter to me." Green eyes tried to catch dark ones as they surveyed the land before them.

Regina took another bite of the apple and held it out to Emma. "Here. Have a bite. You've never had anything sweeter."

Emma reached for the apple with her hand but Regina pulled it back with a slight nod. Again, she held the apple out toward Emma. "Bite."

Despite the cool morning around them, Emma felt warm all over as she leaned toward the offered fruit and opened her mouth. She took a bite, hearing the snap of blood red skin, feeling the firm white flesh, tasting the sweetness from the sudden burst of juice as she sank her teeth into it. Chocolate eyes watched her every move intently. It was innocent, a bite of apple, and yet somehow it was the most sensual moment of her life.

Regina lowered the apple and the two women sat gazing longingly at each other. Right now, in the moment, the millions of questions that had been demanding attention all night seemed to fade away. Emma watched as Regina lifted a careful hand up to her face.

"You've got a little bit of juice…"

Her thumb slid softly across Emma's bottom lip, wiping away the remnants of her bite of apple. But then her hand remained, her eyes blazing as they traced across porcelain skin and pink lips.

Emma didn't try to resist the urge for more. Her face lifted slightly and she began to lean toward the woman before her. Regina didn't hesitate at the first sign that Emma wanted her touch. She leaned in closer and soon felt warm breath against her wind reddened face. The bitter taste of rejection from the night before gave way to the sweet taste of apple on Emma's tongue. The sun ceased to be the center of the universe and for a moment only this field, this moment under her apple tree, only this creature bringing life to her existed.

They kissed like that for what seemed hours. Despite their previous intimacy, the kiss never threatened to be more. It was slow, it was passionate, it was full of emotion. But it was just a kiss. After a time, the kiss ended and they sat back, leaning against the tree, against each other.

"What are we going to do, Emma?" Regina's voice was soft in the silence.

"I don't know." Emma said honestly. "But before I can even think about that, I need to know somethings about what is going on here. I promise I am not going to judge you or be angry. But I do need to know."

Regina shook her head slowly. She seemed to be making a decision, coming to a conclusion in her mind. "Ok. I will tell you. And I will understand if you just walk away after this. But I agree, you need to know and I think you deserve to know."

Regina took a deep breath and reached for Emma's hand. Emma gave hers willingly and squeezed gently. She wasn't sure she was ready for this but she couldn't go on with this unless she knew.

"Part of..." Regina cleared her throat. Her voice wasn't that rough a minute ago, was it? "Part of what Mary Margaret told you is true. My father was wealthy, though not rich. He was a very gentle man, an artist. He loved the earth and animals and the money he inherited was secondary to living an authentic life. When he met my mother, she was poor and lonely. Her father was a drunk and worked as a hand in a mill. Her mother had died giving birth to her so her father sort of resented her. Mother isn't all bad, Emma. She isn't. But she knew what it was like to be poor and to do without and her need to never feel that way again made her do cruel things.

So, when she met my daddy, she became whatever he needed her to be in order to get him to marry her. She knew his family was wealthy and assumed he had ambitions to be powerful as she did. Boy, was she surprised." Regina laughed and shook her head. "But my daddy's lack of drive didn't deter her. Not at all. She just pushed him, brow beat him, made him miserable until he finally gave up his art and started working for his father, learning their business. He was terrible at it, Emma. He wasn't meant for suits and ties and offices. Anyway, by the time I came along, daddy was a sad and broken man. She had ridden rough shod over him until he didn't even try to resist her anymore. But I was a second chance for him. He taught me to draw and to love animals and to grow things. Mother didn't approve.

When I was about eleven, I was sent to a finishing school, not unlike Foxhaven. It was fine. I learned to be a lady. I quite enjoyed being away from mother, to be honest. But while I was there, daddy made a bad business deal and, as Mary Margaret said, he lost everything. I was dismissed from school, we moved into a small house away from my friends. Mother nearly died when we had to leave the club. It was her life. So I was sent to a public high school. It was about that time I met Daniel. I told you all about that. But I started babysitting for Mary Margaret then. I needed a way to make money of my own because I had to get away from my mother."

Regina shuddered and her voice raised at those last words before becoming a near whisper at her next admission. "Your life was miserable because you had no mother, Emma. Well, mine was miserable because of mine. She hated Daniel. She berated my father near constantly for not being who she wanted him to be. And as her madness increased, she became violent. I took the brunt of that. She wanted me to somehow marry money and usher her back into the group that had ostracized her. She wanted me to be her. But I didn't want that. I wanted to run away with Daniel. I wanted to go to school at Tufts and make my own life. But she couldn't allow that.

I can't prove it, but to this day I think she had something to do with what happened to Daniel. I do. But that doesn't matter now. He is long dead and I have moved on. What I had with him was innocent. We never made love. We never had more than a kiss and a dream. But we had each other for a moment and that was enough."

Regina sat quietly for a time and Emma wondered if she would say anything else. She was about to speak up when Regina started talking again.

"So, I knew Mary Margaret and her family pretty well. I was here a lot on the weekends, looking after her. She was only six and I adored her." Regina smiled, remembering. "But then her mother died. The doctor said it was a blood clot to her lungs. She was here and then she wasn't. I was a freshman at Tufts by then but when the summer came and I was home, I was back in the Blanchard house more than ever. I knew Leo was interested in me for more than a sitter. I caught him watching me with his angel more than once. I didn't like it and I knew I should probably quit working for them, but as I said, I needed my own money and he paid me a ridiculous amount to play with her. Just after her seventh birthday and just short of a year since Eva, his wife, had died, he cornered me in his office."

Emma felt Regina's grip tighten in her own. Her eyes were looking so far into the past and were glazed with tears. "You don't have to—"

"Yes, I do. I want to tell you. I had just put Mary Margaret down and I was going to tell him I was leaving. He invited me in to sit, offered me a sherry. I said no because I didn't trust him. To be honest, I wasn't sure he wouldn't drug me from the way his eyes had been following me at the time. He had increased in his leering and I was mildly afraid of him. But summer was almost over. I'd be back at school soon.

But in his office, he came around and sat on the desk in front of me. He was quite visibly aroused and it disgusted me. I stood to go, but he grabbed my arms and kept me there. He kissed me roughly and… I don't know… I just let him. I was so dead inside since Daniel had died. I didn't feel anything anymore outside of fear and being trapped in the prison my mother had built for me. So I let him kiss me. I didn't fight back. I didn't know I could.

Now I know what you are thinking. He didn't rape me or force himself on me. Not that night. He just kissed me and pressed himself against me. The next morning he sent me three dozen roses. My mother was furious. She accused me of sleeping with him but I hadn't. Once I convinced her of that, I could see the wheels turning in her mind. She actually sent Leo a thank you note from _me._ God. I can't believe I just allowed it. But I was different then.

After that, Leo kept up his overtures and romance. Flowers and jewelry and dinners with and without Mary Margaret. And I smiled and accepted and let mother send notes in my name. I suppose you think I am the gold digger she said I was, huh?"

Emma shook her head. "No. I don't. I don't fully understand why you did it, but a part of me does. You wanted to get away from your mother bad enough to—"

"To flee one prison for another one, as it turns out. In a few weeks we were married. It all happened so fast. But I saw it as a way to escape. Now I would be rich. Really, truly rich. I wouldn't need money anymore and I could forget mother existed. Daddy cried. He actually cried when he found out what had happened. You see, Leo took me off in his jet and we eloped. It was all very romantic to the people at the club. Leo had found new love in a girl barely 13 years older than his daughter. How special.

I was a virgin on our wedding night. I knew what was supposed to happen but I wasn't prepared. And he… well, he didn't really care. He had needs and I was the answer to those needs. He used me to please himself that night and every other night he deemed it necessary for about two years. He wanted a son, Emma. He wanted a Blanchard heir to carry on his good name and I was a very well kept incubator as far as he was concerned. We didn't talk or share or even pretend to love each other. He would just roll on top of me a few times a week and that was that."

Emma cringed at the image. Her green eyes were wet with tears as she watched Regina, cold and detached from the story as if it were about someone else. Suddenly, Regina's care and tenderness when they had made love that first night made sense. She had been trying to protect Emma, although she was a stranger, she had been trying to give her something she had been denied.

"The joke, as it turned out, was on Leo. I'm not able to have children, Emma. All the doctors and all the money in the world couldn't give Leo what he wanted most. So, he moved me into another room and I became another ornament, another sign of his wealth and virility. I was nothing more than a trophy he would drag out for parties. But I didn't care. I hated myself and I hated him. As long as I was his wife, he was as trapped as I was.

Part of what Mary Margaret said is true about his money. He stupidly married me without a pre-nuptial agreement, although I don't think it was his grief that made him to it. I think it was more likely is desire to bed me and my resistance. I think he thought if he married me he could have me so he rushed to the altar and forgot all about protecting his money. Sometimes men let their _manhood_ lead them and that, my darling, is their greatest weakness. But, regardless of why he did it, the fact is if we get a divorce I'll be set for life. But I didn't want a divorce. I wanted him to be as miserable as he'd made me. So I stayed."

Regina released Emma's hand and smoothed down her hair. "I'm sure I sound like a monster to you now, don't I?"

Emma didn't say anything for a time, merely looking at the woman before her. "Well, no. Not a monster. But it is a lot to take in."

Regina laughed. "Tell me about it."

"So, is that why you left school? Because you got married."

"Yes. He makes it sound like I just dropped out. But I didn't. He made me quit because he wanted me here full time. I think he really just didn't want me to grow and become smart enough to realize I could leave and take half of everything. Asshole." Regina rolled her eyes.

"So you just keep staying with him out of spite?" Emma tried to make the question sound less accusatory than it could.

Regina laughed again. "No. Not out of spite. When I was finally in a place mentally that I could leave, my daddy suffered a stroke. Leo got him the best care his money could buy. I was grateful for that. And when daddy died… I was just destroyed. I didn't know how to live in the world without him. He was the only person who ever saw me as I truly was and loved me. Without him, without his love… what was there for me? So I stayed because it was just as easy to be miserable here as anywhere. Do you understand?"

Emma thought back on the past year and how she had come to Foxhaven to get away from the mess she had created in the Hamilton's home. Being unhappy at Foxhaven had been easy compared to being unhappy at home. But the idea of misery being the same at Foxhaven as at any other school or foster home rang true. "Yeah, I do. I really do."

Regina smiled at her with sad eyes. "You are a wonder, Emma Swan. What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?"

They sat like that for a time until Regina spoke again. "There are so many other things I'd like to tell you, Emma. So many things you should know if you want to be a part of my life in whatever form we can make happen. But I don't think I am up to that today."

Emma held open her arms and Regina fell into them immediately. They held each other against the cold air of the waning morning. "And I want to hear all you've got to say. But there will be time another day. I think we need to head back though, don't you?"

Regina shook her head against Emma's chest. "Yes. We wouldn't want to be late for lunch. Mrs. Bullary wouldn't approve." She giggled then and squeezed Emma tight.

 _I love you, Emma Swan._

Emma giggled too and stood, offering Regina a hand up.

 _My god, how I love you, Regina._

"Now, how the hell am I going to get up on that horse without the crate?"


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Hello my darlings! Sorry for the long delay in posting. I had hoped to post sooner but life interfered. In my hope for forgiveness I offer this slightly longer than usual chapter.**_

 _ **Thank you all so much for reading and commenting on this story. I am most pleased with the response and my Muse is a very happy girl. Keep it up so she will keep providing little nuggets for this tale.**_

 _ **I'm not sure I like all of this chapter but this is how it presented itself to me so I hope you enjoy it.**_

* * *

"So the guy looks over at me and says 'is this yours?' and I just frowned and said 'Do I _look_ like the sort of person who would bring _that_ in here?' I never saw someone so embarrassed in my life!" Regina laughed as she tossed her napkin on the table by her lunch dishes.

Emma laughed until she was coughing into her hands and beating on her own chest to catch her breath. Suddenly a thought struck her. "Yeah but I still want to know… _was_ it yours?"

Regina arched a perfect brow and shrugged. "A lady never tells, Emma."

Their laughter was interrupted by a throat clearing in the doorway. There stood Mary Margaret Blanchard, a curious look on her face, watching them. "I see you two are getting along. And here I was worried to leave you alone all morning, Em."

The atmosphere changed immediately from one of cozy closeness to cold distance. "Uh, yeah, we were um… you know… just having lunch." Emma stammered through her response, laying her napkin neatly aside her plate as Regina had a moment ago.

"Hmmm. Well, that's nice I suppose." The girl came and took a seat by Emma at the small breakfast table in the kitchen. She never took her meals here but she knew Regina frequently did. She often chatted with the young woman (what was her name again? Debra?) who worked with Mrs. Bullary on holidays and special occasions. Mare wouldn't be caught socializing with the help but Regina wasn't like the rest of the Blanchard family. Being poor had made her do all manner of odd things. The young brunette sniffed in Regina and Emma's direction. "What is that smell? You both stink."

Emma took a sniff of her sweater. She did stink. "Actually, I went down to the stables this morning and Regina was going for a ride. She let me tag along. I'd never ridden a horse before. Kinda fun." Emma smiled shyly at Regina but her dark eyes were locked defiantly on Mary Margaret.

"She let you ride a horse? Which one?" Mare returned Regina's stare with force.

Emma felt a new layer of tension in the room. What had she stepped into now? "Um, Stella. She was very gentle. I was scared but—"

"Stella? My, but you are the lucky one, Em. Regina never lets _anyone_ near her horses." The pixie-haired girl looked suddenly toward Emma.

"It isn't that I keep others from them, dear. They are just particular about whom they allow on for a ride. Even beasts have standards." Regina spoke with confidence and a deliberately sweet tenor to her voice. It was the most direct interaction Emma had witnessed between the two brunettes and was certainly the most sass she had heard from plump red lips since arriving on the Blanchard estate.

Mary Margaret seemed as surprised by the other woman's response as Emma did. Had it been so long since she had spoken up, since she had let her true self shine? The frown that appeared after the look of shock faded gave Emma her answer. Mare did not like what she likely perceived as insolence from her step-mother.

"C'mon, Emma. Let's go upstairs and let Regina get back to… whatever it is she does."

~ (SQ) ~

"So, how was the drive?" Emma said as she came into Mare's room, toweling her hair dry after her second shower of the day. They planned to watch TV, lay around and then enjoy today's main event—dinner.

"It was fine. I saw the land daddy is clearing for the stables. It was nice. And far enough away that we won't see, hear or _smell_ the horses again unless we go down there." Mare flopped onto her bed on her stomach as Emma sat in a comfy chair across from the large dresser and vanity. "We actually weren't there that long. We went into town and ate lunch."

"Oh, cool. I was wondering how big your property was if you were gonna be gone half the day just to have a look at the new place." Emma grinned and wondered what Regina thought about the moving of her animals.

"Yeah, it was nice to spend some time with him alone. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you are here. I wanted you to come. But I enjoyed a few minutes to catch up without _her_ lurking around every corner." Mare wrinkled her nose at the mention of Regina and Emma felt a desire to defend the other woman rising in her. She had just about had enough of that. But she knew she couldn't say anything. She had to play it cool or they might not ever be able to figure this whole mess out. "Oh! We ran into daddy's assistant, Audrey, while we were there. She joined us for lunch. She is such a sweet girl and beautiful! Her hair is… I bet it's as long as yours at least. And red. I just think it is so pretty. I may grow my hair out too… maybe."

"Ha! You might find you want it short when the you-know-what gets here." Emma rubbed her belly for emphasis and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I was in a foster home where the mom had one of her own before they sent me back. The first thing she did was cut her hair short so she wouldn't have to mess with it."

Mare seemed to think about this for a moment, considering the practicality of short hair with a baby to care for. "Perhaps you are right. We'll see. Either way, you will see Audrey's hair tonight. I invited her to join us. Her family lives in Rockport so she was going to be alone for the holiday."

Emma rose both eyebrows. "So… who all is going to be at this dinner? I thought it was just us."

"Well, it will be us. And Audrey. And some of daddy's friends from the club. And _Cora."_ Mare said that name as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Cora?" Emma said, feigning ignorance about Regina's mother.

"Yes. That's Regina's mother. She's the one I told you about. Ugh. If it were possible for someone to be more ridiculous than Regina… it's her mother." Mare sat up then and folder her legs under her. "It has been years since she came here. Back when Regina's father was alive they came to nearly every holiday but after he passed away, she stopped coming. I don't know if Regina stopped asking her or if she just found some other way to fill her time."

Emma nodded as if she understood. In truth she understood better than Mare did. It sounded like once her father was no longer alive, there was no reason for Regina to include her mother. Emma shook her head and tried to keep up with Mare's on going commentary.

"But then a few weeks ago, daddy said Regina announced her mother was coming. I wish she wouldn't. Ever since daddy married Regina, that woman has gotten back in good graces with some of her old friends. It's so sad to see her acting like our money is her money. I think Regina sends her part of her allowance—"

"Allowance?!" Emma said a bit too loudly.

"Yes, daddy gives her an allowance. He didn't want to just give her unfettered access to everything. And besides, she never leaves the house so what does she need money for?" Mare shrugged again and slipped from the bed. Opening her closet she disappeared inside and Emma sat flabbergasted. How much longer would Regina live like a possession?

Mare appeared a moment later with a modest hunter green dress. "I think I'll wear this tonight. What do you think?"

~ (SQ) ~

"Well, we can't just keep holding dinner, Regina. Where the hell is she?" Leo's voice was quiet but unyielding in the hallway outside the formal sitting room Emma had first been shown to upon arriving yesterday (was it really just yesterday?). The guests were too well bred or too polite to acknowledge what they heard but none of them seemed moved by it. Apparently they all thought Regina to be the woman Mary Margaret and her father did—incompetent at best, invisible at worst.

"I'm sorry, Leo. I… I told her what time to arrive. I don't know why she isn't here. Please, let's just give her a bit more time. Maybe she thought I said seven." Regina's own voice ebbed through the wooden door that was meant to maintain their privacy.

"No." The word was said with finality.

"No? But Leo—"

"No, Regina. It is rude to expect my friends to wait any longer. Go call your mother again and whether or not she answers or appears on the doorstep… we are beginning the meal in five minutes.

The door opened then and Leo stepped in with a broad smile, no trace of the angry man he had been just moments ago. Behind him a downtrodden Regina made eye contact with Emma briefly as she slipped into the study across the hall to use the phone. Meanwhile, Leo ushered everyone into the dining room for the meal.

She noted as they were seated that place cards had been set about the table. Her own name was written in elegant script and was again across from Regina, although this time they were both at the opposite end of the table from the Blanchard's. Leo was at the head, Mare to his right. Across from Mare was the red head, Audrey. She was as lovely as Mare had said. Coming along the table then in an appropriate mix to keep the conversation going where the Middleton's, the Smythe's and Emma and Regina. Cora was meant to be at the foot of the table, completing the group, but her chair remained empty.

Emma sat as the conversation around her went on. Mrs. Smythe ("Call me Gloria, everyone does") tried to include Emma in Regina's absence but soon tired of trying and talked almost exclusively to Bunny Middleton who sat opposite and one seat up from her. Emma watched the door as the butternut squash bisque was served. Regina had yet to join them.

"So, Miss Swan, do I understand it that you are a student at Foxhaven?" Mr. Smythe, who preferred to be called Mr. Smythe, was speaking to her, drawing her eyes from the empty doorway.

"Um… yeah. Yes. That's right." Emma stammered, trying to be on her best behavior. To say she was uncomfortable was putting it mildly.

"Our daughter, Madeline attended there as well. All the girls from your better families call Foxhaven home at one point or other. What business is your father in?" Mr. Smythe took a sip of his soup and watched her closely with beady black eyes.

"My father? Um… I…" Before Emma could answer, Regina sat down beside the man with a loud sigh. All eyes fell on her then.

"My apologies, Tom. I didn't mean to interrupt." Regina smiled knowingly at Emma making it clear that she indeed had meant to interrupt.

"Quite alright, Regina. Were you able to locate your mother?"

"Yes, is she alright? I hope she isn't ill?" Now Gloria chimed in. Emma couldn't help but feel the woman wasn't the least bit concerned about Regina or Cora's well-being but was more likely concerned about a tasty morsel of gossip to go with her dinner.

"No, she isn't ill." Regina answered curtly as she waved off a young woman offering her the bisque belatedly. "I don't care for any, Amber."

Emma grinned. Regina always spoke to those in her service like the real people they were. Mare hadn't even remembered the girl's name. Debra indeed.

"Then where is she?" This time it was Mary Margaret who spoke.

"She… well… she claims that she told me last week that she wouldn't be able to join us. She is dining with the Spencer's tonight. Apparently Albert saw her at the club and insisted that she come out to their place for the weekend. But honestly, she never—"

"Well, at least the soup wasn't cold." Mare cut her off and Regina's eye's fell to her lap like a whipped pup. Whatever defiance had burned there at lunch was long gone.

The conversation turned from them again and the Smythe's seemed happy to have Regina to carry on a chat with the odd girl they had been saddled with in her absence. Emma and Regina said little to each other and next to nothing to those around them, at least with their mouths. There was a world of conversation going on between them in other ways.

With a look, a smile, a small thanks for passing this or that, the two woman talked in ways those around them couldn't understand. The first time Emma felt Regina's foot glide against her calf her eyes had grown wide in surprise. Regina had been looking at Audrey at the other end of the table and nodding politely to her story about her last visit to Maine to see her family. The blonde had gladly returned the flirtatious touch under the table between them. She hadn't been smooth enough to look away when she did it and had seen Regina's eyes flutter closed at the contact before looking up at her from beneath soot black lashes.

Throughout the meal these silent conversations had gone on, unobserved by anyone in the dinner party. Anyone, perhaps, other than Mary Margaret Blanchard who wondered what on earth made Emma smile so much at the woman who had been the bane of her existence for these last ten years.

Mary Margaret noticed and couldn't quite place the unsettled feeling that Emma's smiles and Regina's nods seemed to bring.

~ (SQ) ~

Emma lay in her bed that night, staring at the door and willing it to open. Would Regina come see her again? They'd talked briefly in the sitting room while the adults had drinks and she and Mary Margaret had enjoyed cocoa with cinnamon on a love seat by the fireplace. Mare had dismissed herself to get them another drink when Regina sat down.

 _"Well, so now you have met all my friends." Regina smirked into her wine glass._

 _"Lady, if these are your friends, I hate to meet your enemies." Emma whispered with a teasing smile._

 _"Bah. Bunny isn't so bad. Gloria is nothing but a judgmental gossip. But Leo likes them. And they do a lot of business together so I guess I can't complain." Regina shrugged._

 _"I guess." Emma said, looking at the six other adults in the room huddled together in front of a new painting Leo had procured in an estate auction while he was in Maine in October. "What about that Audrey chick?"_

 _Regina looked in her direction and shrugged. "I don't have any feelings about her to be honest. She's sleeping with Leo, so I suppose I should be grateful to her for keeping him out of my bed."_

 _Emma's eyes flew wide. "What?! Are you kidding me? He has his mistress to Thanksgiving dinner with his family?"_

 _Regina laughed lightly, the wine relaxing her considerably. "My darling, he'd move her into the house permanently if not for his precious angel being here. As it is, he keeps her in an apartment in town. He thinks he is so smart and keeping it from me but he's an old fool. Everyone knows about her… except perhaps Mary Margaret. But she can see no wrong in the man. And I wouldn't rob her of that, no matter how she treats me. A girl needs a father she can believe in."_

 _Emma stared, mouth gaping, as Leo's hand slid below the red head's waist as his other guests admired the Monet before them. He didn't even care that she and Regina were right in the room. "My god, Regina. She can't be much older than me."_

 _"No, she isn't. I think twenty-two. But then, he always has preferred them young." Regina sipped her wine again. "But, let's not talk about that. Something else, ok?"_

 _"Sure. So… what happened with your mom?" Emma tilted her head and watched a frown come on Regina's face._

 _"That wasn't what I had in mind when I said we'd discuss something else, dear." Regina snapped._

 _"Sorry. I just wondered what was up. We can talk about—"_

 _"It's ok. I'm sorry I snapped at you. She just… she makes me so damn angry. She did this on purpose. She never one time hinted that she wouldn't be here. She just said she had so I would get into trouble. Her payback for my not inviting her up more often." Regina drank down the last of her wine. "But, it is what it is I suppose."_

 _"Yeah. Maybe."_

Mary Margaret had returned before they could discuss much else. She had eyed them for a moment before sitting in the space Regina vacated to pour more wine. Emma had made a mental note then to be more careful around her friend. She didn't want to stir her suspicions. She could care less about Leo or Cora or Audrey or anyone else involved. But if Regina was willing to spare Mare's feelings then she certainly would. After all, Mare was her friend regardless of the situation.

And friends weren't something Emma had a lot of.

The clock in the entryway signaled it was one o'clock. Emma felt sure if Regina had been planning a visit, she would've come by now so she turned on her side and snuggled into her pillows. Perhaps they could go for a ride tomorrow.

~ (SQ) ~

As it turned out, they didn't see each other at all on Friday. Mary Margaret kept Emma busy looking at old photos, walking about the dead rose garden, in the media room watching rom-coms until her brain was tired. Even at breakfast and lunch, there had been no Regina.

After the way Mare had been looking at them the night before, Emma decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea to ask where the woman was. Instead she tried to focus on her friend in her ballet recital and imagining how the garden looked in spring and not giggling at how much her relationship with Regina was beginning to mirror the absurdity of a romantic comedy.

At dinner, Emma had finally seen her again. They had been cordial and polite, once more listening to the conversation going on between father and daughter while silently talking to each other. Tonight, Emma was ready. She had worn a dress to dinner so her legs were bare. When Regina's foot found its way inevitably across to hers, she felt skin on skin and it sent a shiver up her spine. The longer she was with Regina the more her desire for the woman grew.

Regina must have felt the same because her foot traveled much further up Emma's bare leg tonight than it had the night before. When the tips of her toes passed her knee and danced across her inner thigh, Emma had stifled a groan. Regina had smirked and sipped her wine.

Emma repaid the favor and found that her being a bit taller than the brunette worked to her advantage. She eased her foot up the front of Regina's gray dress, the dark woman's legs seemingly falling apart to allow her access, until the tip of her big toe ghosted the silk of Regina's underwear. The caress must have caught Regina by surprise because she moaned audibly into her wine glass. Emma jerked her foot away and Leo stared at his wife with his question plain on his face.

"This is a lovely vintage, Leo. What year is it?" Regina blamed her pleasure on the wine and hoped her husband was convinced. Feet remained on the floor for the rest of the meal after that.

Regina hadn't appeared in her room that night either and Emma had been certain after the friendly game of footsie that she would. But, the night wore on and there was only silence in the house. Emma finally sighed her defeat and turned on her side to sleep.

~ (SQ) ~

"So, Em, I was thinking after breakfast we could go into town and maybe have a mani-pedi and catch a movie. Maybe grab some lunch. There isn't much in the way of shopping but we could browse some antique stores if you like." Mary Margaret was already halfway through a grapefruit and smiling like the sunshine.

Emma had barely tasted her coffee and the bagel with peanut butter she had opted for today. Regina was at breakfast today as well. She had only a small cup of coffee and a slice of dry wheat toast before her. "Actually Mare, if you don't mind, I thought I would tag along with Regina for another ride on Stella today. I don't know when I might ever get to ride a horse again and I really fell in love with Stella. We can definitely do all that stuff afterwards though. Is that ok?"

She knew she was pushing her luck, but Emma didn't care. She wanted to spend some time with Regina before she headed back to school tomorrow. They still needed to talk about how things were going to go between them moving forward. And truth be told, she was aching to kiss soft, plump lips once more.

Mare looked from Emma to Regina with a furrowed brow. "You want to go for a ride with _her?"_

"Yeah. I mean, if she doesn't mind me tagging along. I hadn't actually asked her yet. Do you mind, Regina?" Emma gave her most innocent look across at the older woman.

Regina shrugged. "I don't mind at all, dear. Assuming it is ok with you, Mary Margaret."

The girl merely frowned again and her father opened his mouth as if to intervene but Regina beat him to the punch and shocked all three of them with her next words. "Would you like to join us? I'm sure Corduroy would love to see you again."

A silence that was palpable fell then as everyone waited to see what Mare would say. For her part, the girl seemed dumbstruck by the invitation. "No, I… I don't think I want to ride. I'm sure Corduroy can have a turn around the circle with Graham. But… if you want to go for a few hours Emma, that is fine with me. Shall we meet at eleven thirty so we can have lunch in town? I'll see if I can find a good movie playing around then."

Emma smiled broadly and nodded her agreement. She was going to enjoy every last second she could before she was away from Regina again.

~ (SQ) ~

"Who is Corduroy?" Emma asked as she followed along behind Regina on Stella. Rocinante was in a mood today and kept stopping along the trail, holding up their progress.

Regina redirected her horse and continued along the path. "Oh, he is just a horse I bought for her when she was about ten. I was trying so hard to make her like me. I was lonely in a way I can't describe and if I had to be here, I wanted someone to love. She rode him a few times with me and we seemed to be making progress but… I guess she remembered I was the enemy and she hasn't looked at him once since then. She could have been a fine horsewoman if she had tried. She had a very regal seat for a child."

"So she just gave up on him? How sad for him." Emma pulled the reigns in a bit to slow Stella to match Rocinante's pace for today.

"Not really. He was old even when we got him and I thought that would be good for her since he would be slower and patient. But she was too high strung for the old fella. I don't think he liked her very much." Regina laughed a little thinking of the time Corduroy had deliberately walked Mary Margaret into a tree on the day of her last ride. "In fact, her giving up riding may be as much his fault as mine."

When they reached the clearing at the orchard, Regina swung down and tied Rocinante to the post. She offered him a treat, but he refused. "Alright, but don't come complaining later that you want a snack." Regina stroked his nose and turned to give the treat to Stella as Emma tied her up beside the other horse. "I don't know why he is being so stubborn today. He's usually so pleasant."

Regina gasped in surprise when she felt Emma's arms encircle her waist from behind, pulling her into an embrace. "Let him be stubborn, he got us away from prying eyes and that's all I care about."

The brunette turned in Emma's arms and greeted her with a kiss. "Mmmm, I've wanted to do that for days."

"Yeah?" Emma smiled shyly.

"Yeah." Regina said, pecking her again on the lips. "Shall we sit? I think we have some things that need to be discussed, don't you?"

"I guess but I'd much prefer kissing you again." Emma pulled Regina back into her arms and nuzzled her face into dark hair.

"Oh my darling, I prefer it too but if you want to go on kissing me after this weekend is over, I suggest you release me and we have a talk like a pair of adults." Regina kissed Emma's cheek lightly as they separated and sat under the same tree as before.

"Ok. You've got my undivided attention. How is this going to work? Is there going to be an "us" after I leave tomorrow?" Emma was almost afraid to hope. But the warm smile Regina was giving her told her she had nothing to worry about. This wasn't an ending.

It felt like a beginning.

Regina smiled and reached up to push a fly-away strand of blonde hair away from Emma's face. "I want there to be, if you do."

With a smile that made her cheeks sore crossing her face, Emma captured the hand in her own and kissed the back and then the palm gently. "You know I do."

After another beat of silence, merely smiling and gazing at each other fondly, Emma spoke up again. "But I don't know how something like this would work. Would we be able to meet or what?"

Regina released Emma's hand and adopted a very serious and near business like tone. "I have given it some thought actually and I think I know how it can work. But first I'd like to tell you a story."

Emma sat up straighter to match Regina's tone and nodded. "Alright. Tell me your story."

Regina grinned and shook her head at Emma's mirroring her own posture and tone. She pinched her lightly in the side and Emma laughed. "Ok. My story. There is a two-fold purpose in sharing this. One, I want you to know and two, it will help us with our unique situation."

Emma motioned her understanding and for Regina to go on.

"So… you recall I told you that I didn't make a habit of picking people up in a bar?" Again Emma nodded. "In fact, I had only ever had one such encounter before you. You see, all these years I have been living here, seldom leaving the grounds unless Leo wanted to parade me around at a party or business event, and the older Mary Margaret got, the more often they would take trips without me. I'd been hording my allowance for years. I don't know what for. I share some with mother every week but mostly I just put it aside. I don't really need it. Anyway, not long after my daddy died, and just about a year before Mary Margaret was meant to start school at Foxhaven as a freshman, Leo took her on an extended trip to Monaco. They were to be gone for three weeks. For the first of those three weeks I was here alone and bored senseless. At least when they were home, I had some tension or drama to look forward to to break up the monotony. But with them gone, it was just me and Frank and Mrs. Bullary. I hadn't even hired on Graham yet at that time. So, I decided enough was enough and I was going into the city for a few days. I had plenty of money and I wanted to do some shopping, perhaps tour a museum or take in a play." Regina pulled a tall piece of grass free and began twisting it around her index finger as she spoke.

"I told Mrs. Bullary to phone my cell if she needed me but I didn't expect she would. I called for a car and away I went. It was lovely. I did a spa day and shopped. I bought some new clothes. It was wonderful. Freeing. I began to feel like myself again for the first time in so long." Regina smiled remembering. "Then, one night I felt so brave I decided I'd go out for drinks and maybe some dancing. I was afraid to go to a bar alone. I wasn't sure I could handle myself around men and I didn't want to put myself in a dangerous situation. Isn't it horrible that we even have to consider such things? But I did. I worried if I went to a bar I might drink too much and wind up a statistic. So, I had this bright idea to go to a gay bar."

Regina laughed and tossed away the grass she'd been toying with. "I thought I'd be surrounded by all these men who were not the least bit interested in me sexually and they would appreciate my taste in clothes and would all be good dancers. I was so naive. I knew nothing about gay culture. In fact, I had no idea I was even attracted to women. I had felt… drawn to women before. I had noticed women and thought they looked attractive… beautiful… what have you. But don't all women notice beauty? That's what I told myself. But I never noticed that I looked longer than other women at the club did. I never noticed that my eyes lingered on cleavage and soft lips more than Bunny's or Gloria's did. So I pulled up a list (a much shorter list back then) of gay bars and picked one. It was called the Cave. Not only were there very few gay men there, but it was ladies night and the place was teeming with lesbians. At first I thought I'd leave but I was there and I was feeling brave so I stayed. I had so many women buying me drinks it was embarrassing. I had to start politely refusing them because I was going to have alcohol poisoning if I kept it up. Finally… and I'll never forget this… a very masculine woman approached me and shouldered her way into the space at the bar beside me. She was attractive, don't get me wrong, but she was very drunk and very aggressive. I had very little experience with men let alone with women so I didn't know what to do. I must have looked terrified to anyone standing around but no one tried to help me. Finally, this woman draped one arm across the back of my seat and laid the other hand on my thigh and whispered a very tasteless come on in my ear. I was mortified!"

Regina threw her hands up to cover her reddening cheeks at the memory.

"What did you do? How'd you get away from her?" Emma was enthralled in the story and could see the situation playing out before her like a movie.

"I didn't know what to do. I turned to her with my mouth gaping open in shock at her forwardness and tried to form a kind but firm rejection. But before I could, I felt another arm close around me from the other side, pushing the other woman away. A soft, sexy voice purred 'Oh, there you are beautiful. I'm sorry I'm late. Is this person bothering you?' The other woman just stammered an apology and dashed away. In fact, when I left the bar that night she was still cowering away in the corner licking her wounds."

"Who was it? Who saved you?" Emma felt a pang of jealousy at this point in the tale.

"Her name was Mallory. Everyone called her Mal. She had been watching me floundering for a while but she realized I was in trouble and popped over to help me. We talked a while that night and I felt drawn to her in a way I couldn't explain. Maybe it was the few drinks I had had or maybe it was just pure attraction. I don't know. I had never considered being with a woman sexually before but we wound up going to my hotel that night." Regina smirked. "Don't be jealous, dear."

Emma frowned. "I'm not jealous."

"Oh, yes you are. Your eyes are green for more than one reason, Emma. But trust me when I say, you've nothing to be jealous of. I didn't love Mal or want anything from her except sex. It was about physical release. As you know, my experiences with sex hadn't been good ones. I told Mal about some of it and she made it her mission to show me what it could be like to be with someone who wanted to please me. But the next morning, she was gone and had left a note for me to call her if I were ever in town again." Regina waited until Emma seemed to relax.

"So, did you? You know… did you call her again?"

Regina shrugged. "Yes. I did. In fact we met several times over the coming months. Anytime Leo was away, I would take a trip into town to see Mal. We didn't talk about our personal lives, we just had sex. Once or twice we had dinner together or went to a club. I remember dancing with her at The Emerald City once. But mostly we didn't talk about our real lives at home. We just spent time together and met each other's physical needs."

"So, what happened to her? Why aren't you still seeing her?" Emma pouted and didn't try to hide it.

Regina cupped her face in her hands and looked deep into her eyes. "Emma, I didn't tell you about Mal to upset you. If we are to have a relationship that means anything to either of us, I want it to be with our eyes wide open, knowing what we are going into. Please don't be jealous or angry with me."

Emma searched Regina's dark brown eyes and realized her doubt, her fear, her jealousy was foolish. This woman, Mal, clearly meant nothing to Regina. Then a thought struck her. _She didn't love her. She said she didn't love her. Does that mean she loves me?_ "Ok. I'm sorry. I'm not mad. I just don't like to think of someone else touching you. What happened to her?"

"Well, I contacted her to meet me that following August. Mary Margaret was starting school at Foxhaven and Leo was taking her up to get settled in. Mal told me she couldn't on the dates I proposed but wanted to meet soon. I was disappointed but we made plans for another weekend. So, it was no big deal when Leo insisted I go with them to Foxhaven. There was to be a social for parents of new students. In a school like Foxhaven, everyone wants to network and make connections. The girls want an education, but the parents want a lucrative business relationship to start. So I went along. There was a girl across the hall from Mary Margaret named Lily Page. Her father, Steven, was an old friend of Eva's and so naturally Leo wanted to talk to him. While they chatted in the hall outside the room, Steven called his wife to come say hello. Imagine my surprise when Mal stepped into the hall. My lesbian lover was Mallory Page, wife of Steven, mother of Lily and one of the most powerful people in big pharma. I was stunned. I couldn't speak. She reached to shake my hand and I thought of all the places that hand had been and nearly fainted. It was the shock of my life."

"Holy shit, Regina! What did you do?" Emma's eyes were as big as saucers.

"What could I do, darling? I pretended to not know her. At the cocktail party we spoke briefly by the punch bowl and agreed to never speak of it again. And that was that. It was over as quickly as it had begun." Regina shrugged again and smiled wistfully.

"So, you just ended it? Wow. I know Lily. She's pretty cool. But wow! I can't imagine." Emma was still processing this new information. She wondered if Regina had felt as shocked seeing Mal as seeing her in the sitting room.

"After that, I stayed away from gay bars. I learned to handle men and I found that while I was in Boston, I was becoming someone different than the woman who lived here on this estate. It's a little like having a split personality. The woman you know, I like her. She is strong and independent and… fierce. And she lives on this property too, but I keep her hidden away most of the time. Sometimes, I wish for her to make an appearance, to tell them all to go to hell and to run away. But mostly, she stays hidden and the other me, the quiet, the reserved me… well, she endures the abuse in order to get some sort of petty revenge on the Blanchard's by holding them all hostage. It sounds so awful when I say it out loud." Regina shook her head, thinking about the two sides of her personality. "But I suppose we owe Mal a bit of thanks, don't we darling?"

"Thanks? Um, I guess. I mean… what do you mean?" Emma wasn't sure she knew what Regina was getting at.

"Yes. For one thing, she gave me the wonderful idea that we could keep seeing each other in secret. At least until you are finished with school. That is, if you are ok with secrecy. We could talk on the phone or online, and try to meet in the city from time to time. You only have until May when you will graduate and then… well, then… I don't know what. Maybe we will stop hiding." Regina shrugged and waited for Emma to respond.

"I… I think that would work. I don't want to hurt Mare. I don't. But Regina, I can't just act like I don't care for you. Like I don't want to be with you. Not even for a friend. So… yes. I think we can do this in secret. And maybe revisit the idea when I am at Tufts?"

"Alright, my darling. That is what we will do." Regina smiled and gave Emma a small peck on the lips.

Emma thought a moment and then asked, "What is the second thing?"

"Hmmm?"

"You said we should thank Mal _for one thing_ because of the idea. I there a second thing?"

"Well, I suppose we owe her a great thanks for…" Regina blushed slightly.

"For…?" Emma drug out the word, waiting for Regina to say what she already knew.

"For… well, she taught me everything I know about pleasing a woman." Already dark eyes darkened considerably as she turned her gaze to Emma completely now. "Although, I admit that thing I can do with my tongue? That is all me. Some things just can't be taught."

Regina's voice was near a whisper as she spoke now and Emma felt heat pooling in her abdomen at the memory of "that thing" Regina was referencing. "Mmmm, yes I guess we do owe her a thank you then."

Emma inched slightly closer to Regina then and watched the curve of her lips becoming a smile.

"You know, I had no interest in meeting anyone that night in O'Malley's. I often went into bars just to be around people. I found some comfort in the noise, the crowds. But I saw you the instant the door opened. You were so beautiful and so sexy in your jeans and leather. My mouth actually watered at the sight of you." Regina leaned in and nudge Emma's nose lightly with her own, her mouth hovering close to the blonde's.

"Oh… oh, really? Your mouth watered, huh?" Emma stammered. Her voice was shaky and full of want.

"Mmhmmm. Enough so that I paid the man beside me one hundred dollars to get up from that stool so you would sit down." Now plump lips brushed lightly against soft pink ones. "I had no idea that Gary would pounce like he did, but I wanted to rip his throat out. Who did he think he was? I wasn't trying to take you home that night, but _he_ sure as hell wasn't."

"Oh so, you just wanted to talk?" Emma flirted by dipping impossibly closer to and pulling away from Regina's mouth with her own.

"Yes. Honestly. I just wanted to talk. You were in a straight bar so I had no expectation you would be interested in anything else. And I wasn't sure even if you were interested that I was ready to go to bed with a stranger from a bar. But then you told me about why you were there and about how you were interested in women and…. I felt like I would burst. You were absolutely delicious and I hadn't even had a bite yet. So I decided right then that I would offer to teach you what I had learned. It wasn't just about desire. It was about this tiny notch you had started carving in my heart with your openness and sweet sincerity." Regina's tongue flicked out lightly then and touched Emma's lip. "Of course, later… later when you rocked my world with so many talents of your own, I was very happy I had given in to my instincts and followed you to the Marquis."

Emma groaned at the touch, at the memory. "So I have many talents, do I?"

Regina's hands snaked around Emma's waist and drew her closer. "Oh yes, my darling girl. So many talents. I may need a refresher though. It has been so long. Perhaps I am remembering incorrectly."

Regina moved to turn her head away but Emma stopped her with a hand on each side of her head and turned her back to face her. "How's this for a refresher?"

In a moment, they were kissing. Not as tentative strangers, filled with anxiety and confused desire. Not sweetly as secret lovers stealing away together. No, this kiss was passionate and full of desire. This kiss was wanton and possessive and driven with longing that neither knew how to vocalize. They kissed with breathless abandon until Emma was sitting straddle of Regina's lap, her hand pushing under her coat and shirt, searching for soft skin.

Regina's mouth moved from Emma's lips to her long, porcelain neck. Her own hands kneaded and pressed against Emma's firm ass. She nipped gently at Emma's neck and the sensation caused the blonde to grind her body down against Regina, seeking friction for the growing ache between her legs. Soon enough, Emma's mouth was attacking Regina's flawless skin, sucking and nipping below her ear, causing the older woman to moan loudly into the open air of the orchard.

"Regina… I want you so badly. Please, put your hands on me." Emma murmured into dark hair.

"Emma?" Regina's voice was no longer husky and soft. "Emma! Stop!"

Emma pulled back in confusion. She followed the frightened gaze of Regina's dark eyes to the top of the knoll at the edge of the trees.

There, a few feet away, sat Graham atop Corduroy.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Hello my dears! I am trying my best to wrap this up. I am finding that, while I am omitting some, it really isn't that much. This was a pretty concise story as it was outlined originally without a lot of fluff or fat so I decided it would be just as easy to tell you the rest of the story as to give you the Reader's Digest condensed version. So I hope you like it.**_

 _ **Many of you have indicated that you are sad to here I will no longer be writing. The fact is, I will no longer be writing fanfiction, however I have every intention to keep writing. Since I have been able to string words together into sentences I have told stories. Even before I could write words, I made up tall tales to share with my brother. So there is little chance that I will stop writing all together.**_

 _ **I have been outlining a novel for several months. I have been researching and changing and developing the story for quite a while. In part, the story was inspired by Swen and fandom in general and the use of social media to make the world even smaller. I hope to begin work on the first draft of the manuscript soon. But I do intend to give resolution to my stories here first.**_

 _ **As always, thank you for reading and commenting. Thank you for your love and support and encouragement. You have been such a special part of my life the last couple of years. You will never know what it has meant to be able to write for you. I hope you will enjoy the remaining chapters of this story and accept it as my gift to you all for your kindness.**_

* * *

"Oh shit! Regina! What are we gonna do?" Emma scrambled to get off Regina's lap, her green eyes flashing wildly.

"Emma… just keep your mouth shut and let me handle this. Please." Regina seemed unnaturally calm as she stood and dusted off the seat of her pants.

Across from them, Graham dismounted Corduroy and led the animal slowly toward the women. His face was blank and gave nothing away about his thoughts or emotions at catching his boss' wife making out with a high school girl.

"Hello Graham. Is something wrong?" Regina spoke without even a hint of fear.

"I came to tell Miss Swan that her presence is requested at the main house. It appears Mary Margaret has grown impatient waiting for you to return and go into town." Graham patted Corduroy on the nose and tied him with the other horses.

Emma stood frozen to the spot. This was the moment when he busted them. Or demanded some money or sexual favors in a blackmail attempt. Right?

"I'm sure the princess will be pacing the floor until you arrive, darling. Perhaps you should head on and I'll see you at dinner tonight." Regina smiled at the blonde.

"What the hell? Regina—"

"Emma." Regina's voice was firm and just as calm as ever. "Take Stella and head back. I want to speak to Graham alone for a moment."

"Like hell I will. I'm not leaving you to—"

"It's alright, Emma." Graham smiled and snatched up a thin stalk of high grass. "You have no reason to fear me."

"Regina?" Emma's voice was confused and frightened and melted Regina were she stood.

The darker woman sighed and sat again on the ground beneath the tree. She patted the spot next to her and Emma sat again. Graham squatted next to them and tried for a moment to make a whistle between his thumbs with the grass before discarding it and pulling another blade free.

It was as if they were three friends enjoying a break from a strenuous horseback ride in the country. Nothing about the scene would give away the fact that this man had just caught them in a passionate embrace. Emma looked from one to the other in bewilderment.

"Emma, we have no reason to fear Graham… just as he said. Graham doesn't work for Leo. He works for me. And he won't tell—"

"I don't understand. How can you be so calm? This is—"

" _This_ is nothing. Graham will not tell anyone." Regina looked at the man, willing him to confirm what she had said.

"Listen Emma, I know you don't understand but… I have no interest in hurting Regina. I would never reveal her secrets." The man finally sat on the ground and stretched his long legs out in front of him. "But I will say the two of you are foolish to be kissing so close to the house. If you are going to sneak around you are going to have to be more careful. I knew on Thanksgiving Day there was something more going on than Regina befriending Mare's school chum. Seriously, Regina. You're smarter than this."

Regina shrugged. "You're right. I will be more careful."

Emma looked at them like they were sprouting another head between them. "Are you fucking kidding me? What am I missing here?"

The two others exchanged a look and Regina smiled at her love, taking her hand in her own and squeezing lightly. "Darling, I'd like you to formally meet Graham Humboldt. He is one of my oldest friends. At this point he may be my only friend besides you."

"Well, I don't think that is true. I've seen you gossiping with Bunny Middleton. Surely _she's_ your friend." Graham laughed and nudged Regina with the toe of his boot.

"Shut up." Regina grinned good naturedly and nudged him back with her own foot before turning her attention back to Emma. "You see, Emma, Graham and I were friends in school. Remember I told you I went to public school for the first time in my life in high school? Well, Graham was new that year too so we sort of helped each other survive. He introduced me to Daniel." Her voice softened at the name.

"Daniel?" Emma was trying to take it all in. "He was friends with Daniel?"

"Yes," Graham interjected. "He was my best friend. And after… after everything happened, I think Regina and I sort of stuck together out of love for him. So when she moved here and needed a hand in the stables, she called me and offered me a job."

"I needed help with the horses, but mostly I wanted a friendly face on the grounds. Leo certainly didn't care who I hired so I thought of Graham." Regina smiled at Emma again. "You see, there is nothing to worry about. He will not tell anyone."

Emma nodded. Maybe she was beginning to understand but jealousy rose up in her. "Was there... anything… you know… else between you besides friendship?"

Graham and Regina both laughed at that. Emma frowned. She didn't like being on the outside of an in joke. "What's so funny?"

"Oh my darling, sweet Emma. There is nothing between us and there never has been. You see—"

"My boyfriend might object to me sleeping with her." Graham smiled.

Like two saucers, Emma's green eyes opened wide. "Your… your boyfriend?"

"Yes, Emma. You may have heard, but men can fall in love with other men." He chuckled and crossed his ankles, leaning back on his elbows. "August and I have been together for a very long time. I am no threat to you. Not of revealing your relationship… nor to that relationship."

Emma was quiet a moment, letting all this new information settle over her. "Ok. Cool."

Regina shook her head and sighed. "Well, now that we have all that resolved, perhaps you shouldn't keep Mary Margaret waiting." Regina leaned over and gave Emma a peck on the lips. "I'll see you at dinner tonight."

~ (SQ) ~

"I swear, Mare. That was possibly the _stupidest_ movie I have ever seen. And I'm embarrassed by how much fun I had watching it." Emma belly laughed thinking of the absurdity of it all.

"Well, the good ones were sold out because of the holiday rush but you are right. It was awful. Let's not tell anyone how much we liked it." The girl giggled along with her friend. Being away from the house seemed to bring out the version of Mary Margaret that Emma had come to consider her friend at Foxhaven. She was nothing like the spoiled brat who was deliberately cruel to her stepmother.

"So, what else have you got planned for today?" Emma dropped her empty cup and popcorn tub into the bin as they headed out into the golden sun of the late afternoon.

So far today they had an early lunch at a cute bistro, enjoyed manicures and pedicures in a small salon and seen a movie. There had been a few tense moments when, in the bistro over lunch, Mare had made a smart remark about Regina.

Unwilling to endure another moment of it, Emma had defended the woman, much to the brunette's chagrin. She wanted to know just exactly why Emma liked her so much. What was it they found to talk about on these long rides to the orchard? Emma fumbled her way through an explanation about feeling sorry for the woman since nobody seemed to like her. After a few minutes of arguing they had agreed to drop it and not discuss the woman anymore.

Emma was more than happy to leave that topic alone. She didn't want to mess up. Besides, they'd be going home in the morning and Emma knew this girl-time was important to Mare. She glanced around and noted an electronics shop across the way. Suddenly she had an idea.

"Hmmm, I thought we could browse in a few of the shops along Main Street. There isn't anything fancy but I do think you'd like the vintage clothing shop over there." Mare pointed to a storefront two doors up from the electronics store.

"Velvet Underground? Sounds awesome. Let's do it."

Emma had to admit she did like this little store. There was a lot more here than old clothes. Emma looked with a smile at the vintage posters of some old school bands she loved. She ran her fingers gingerly over porcelain figures and heirloom jewelry. Everything was something she felt a connection to in a way.

Of particular interest to her was a blood red silk scarf. It instantly made her think of the red of Regina's apples… of her lipstick and a particularly sexy lingerie set she'd worn in Boston. The ends were darker than the center and nearly faded into black. It looked and felt expensive. It was perfect for her love. She wanted to buy it for her. Maybe she'd come back sometime.

"Em? I think I over did it getting that huge soda at the movie. I'm gonna see if I can find a bathroom." Mary Margaret was doing the universal dance that said she had to go… now.

"Hey, nobody told you to order something called 'the gullywasher.'" Emma laughed as the sales girls shook her head no to Mare's questioning.

"They don't have a public bathroom. Dammit. I'll be right back."

And with that, she disappeared out the door. Emma took her chance then and dashed down the street to the little electronics shop. In more time than she would have liked, she had two prepaid cell phones purchased and activated. She trashed the packaging and slipped both phones into her inside coat pocket and hoped that she would beat Mare back to the vintage shop.

"There you are!" Mary Margaret appeared out of seemingly thin air. "I've been looking all over. You get bored?"

"Uh… yeah. I just wandered down here waiting for you." Emma tried to keep a steady voice and thanked god that Mare hadn't found her sooner.

"Well, let's head home. I'm tired and we want to get an early start tomorrow. I bet we are having something wonderful for dinner."

~ (SQ) ~

Dinner had been as wonderful as Mare had suggested but not for the reasons the pixie-haired girl thought. As a special treat before they returned to school, Regina herself had prepared their meal. She admitted she hadn't cooked in years but she just had the urge today.

Emma knew that it was all for her. She knew that the older woman had done everything she could to make their last night under the same roof special. And the food had been wonderful. Not only had she prepared a variety of empanadillas for a first course, the most amazing rice dish Emma had ever tasted (something called arroz con gandules) and a spicy beef stew, but she had also made a sinfully rich caramel flan for dessert.

 _"These are all recipes from my grandmother, Emma. I hope you liked everything." Regina smiled as the dessert was served._

 _"Whatever did we do to deserve this?" Mary Margaret said with a voice dripping with venom. The words alone seemed kind but the tone made it clear she was trying to be as cruel as possible. Perhaps she was jealous of the attention Regina was giving Emma?_

 _"I merely thought it would be nice to have something different after so much traditional food for the holiday." Regina forced as much kindness into her voice as she could._

 _"I think it's great. So your grandma was… Spanish?" Emma tried to keep the conversation light but was fascinated by this new detail about the other woman._

 _"Puerto Rican, actually. Daddy's mother. But his father was good old red-blooded American. I do appreciate my heritage, though my grandmother passed away when I was quite young. Mother didn't acknowledge that part of daddy's family. I guess it didn't fit in with her country club vision." Regina spoke so freely to Emma then that the blonde wondered if she was even aware of the other eyes on them._

 _"Well, the next time you feel like appreciating your heritage, Regina, please let me know so I can make other plans." Leo, finally breaking into the conversation, stood and beckoned Mare to follow._

 _"Coming Emma?" The girl said with a furrowed brow. Remembering the argument from earlier, Emma decided it was best to go along though she much preferred to stay with Regina._

 _"Sure. Let's see what's on TV. I think there is a 'Twilight' marathon. That way we can bookend the day with horrible movies we are ashamed to admit we liked." Emma turned and winked at Regina as she followed Mare out. Quietly she whispered so no one would hear her before closing the door. "Dinner was wonderful. Thank you for sharing this with me."_

The evening had been boring and the longer it went on the antsier Emma felt. This was the last time she would see Regina for an as yet undetermined amount of time and the very last thing she wanted to see was one more vampire movie. Soon enough, it was time for bed and, as she had every night, Emma waited for Regina to come in and see her.

Well past midnight, Emma had given up and started to fall asleep. She still needed to give Regina the cell phone she had picked up. They still needed to decide some things. But it clearly wasn't going to happen tonight.

Unless…

Emma smacked herself in the forehead. What the hell was she doing, lying in bed, waiting on Regina to sneak in? Maybe she needed to sneak into the woman's bedroom for a change.

The blonde padded quietly down the hall. She wasn't one hundred percent sure which room was Regina's but she figured if she chose the wrong door she could just feign ignorance, a guest in a strange place who got confused headed to the bathroom. Yes. That would be her story if she chose wrong.

She chose right. Opening the door she hoped was the right one, Emma came face to face with Regina. The woman gasped in surprise and pulled the girl into the room with her.

"What are you doing? I was coming to your room." Regina whispered in the dark.

"I was coming to _your_ room. I got tired of waiting for you." Emma grinned and pulled Regina into her arms. "I don't know when I'll see you again so I wanted to at least give you a proper goodbye."

And without another word, Emma kissed her deeply. If the kiss Graham had witnessed had been passionate and searing with desire, this one was desperate and hungry. Neither woman wanted to think about being apart. So they kissed each other like this was the last time.

Finally breaking for air, Regina smirked at the blonde. "Well, if that is how you say goodbye, I may have to come and go more often."

Emma covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh. Waggling her eyebrows, she replied. "I am certainly in favor of you coming more often."

"You cad." Regina swatted Emma lightly on the arm. "I have been thinking all night how we can still talk once you get back. I think I need to buy us some of those… burner phones? I think they call them that. You know the ones—"

Regina was silenced when Emma pulled the phones she had purchased earlier that day from her pocket. "Way ahead of you. Now no one but us knows who we are talking to. I already programmed the numbers in each phone."

The smile that spread across Regina's face as she took her phone seemed to light up the room. "My, what a clever girl I have."

"Yep." Emma rocked on her heels and puffed out her chest in pride.

For most of the night the two women laid in each other's arms, whispering quietly and often not talking at all. They just held each other and enjoyed the comfort of arms and legs and tender kisses. Before long, morning arrived and Emma knew she had to slip back to her room before Mary Margaret awoke.

Regina had already decided that she wouldn't be seeing them off. That would only arouse suspicion since she never said goodbye to Mare on the end of her visits. So the two said their goodbye's in the dim light of morning in Regina's room.

"Text me as soon as you get home so I know you are safe." Regina smoothed her hands up and down Emma's bare arms.

"I will." And with that Emma was gone.

 **Monday**

Now, sitting in the library at school, thinking about it all, Emma couldn't help the aching smile that spread across her face. She'd gone to Mare's home broken hearted and on the verge of collapse. Suddenly, she had a new lease on life. Everything would be ok.

Emma was stirred from her memories by a buzzing in her satchel.

 **Xena:** Hello darling. How is the studying coming along?

 **Gabby:** Ok. I can't think about an anatomy exam though when everything reminds me of you.

 **Xena:** Everything? I think you are exaggerating.

 **Gabby:** Nope. Not even a little. Anatomy. Study of the body. You have a body. I like your body. You. I'm in the library. You have to whisper in libraries. You sound hot when you whisper. You. The sun is shining. You are my sunshine. You. Do you see what I'm getting at?

 **Xena:** I think so. You miss me. Is that it?

 **Gabby:** Yaaasss! Exactly. I miss you so much and it's only been a day.

 **Xena:** Well, maybe we can see each other soon. I miss you too.

Another message came right away.

 **Xena:** Explain to me again why you saved us as Xena and Gabby?

 **Gabby:** So if anyone found these phones they wouldn't know who was talking. And also because they were like the most epic not together lesbians maybe ever. And it's funny.

 **Xena:** I see. Well, at least I get to be the one in charge. ;)

 **Gabby:** Oh… you like being in charge do you. Tell me more.

 **Xena:** No. You get to work and ace that test. We'll talk again soon. I promise.

Emma closed her phone with a smile.

What a difference a few days could make… indeed.

~ (SQ) ~

For the entire month of December, Emma and Regina spent every minute they could talking by text. Sometimes they were even lucky enough to have sufficient privacy to talk. Emma didn't mind this limited form of communication. All she cared about was that, as time went on, she was falling more and more in love with Regina.

Neither of them had actually said the "L" word yet. Once, Regina had almost let it slip but she had recovered by tacking on some additional words.

 _"I wish we were together right now." Emma whispered into the phone. She was outside in the cold night air so no one would hear her but still she felt the need to whisper._

 _"I know, darling. I wish we were too." Regina whispered in return. "I love y—your beautiful smile so much. I'd um… I'd give anything to see it."_

 _Emma felt warmth spread across her face. Regina had almost said it._

Suddenly feeling the need to make her own money, Emma took a part time job working as an assistant to the librarian. She mostly dusted and put returned books back on the shelves, but she enjoyed the quiet time and the freedom to chat with Regina without feeling Mare was watching over her shoulder every second.

Truthfully, the job was good because it got her away from Mare, period. No matter how rude and entitled Mare had acted on the Thanksgiving trip, the fact was she had been Emma's only real friend at school… her only real friend anywhere in a long time. She shouldn't—she knew she shouldn't—but a part of the blonde felt guilty sneaking around with Regina behind Mare's back. So the less time she had to be with the younger brunette in the small dorm room, the better.

With a two week break coming up for Christmas, Regina and Emma had already been making plans. Emma had dropped hints to Mare and had secured an invitation back to the Blanchard's home for the holiday. Even if they'd have to pretend to be virtual strangers and keep their conversation polite and distant, just being together under one roof had made both of them giddy with excitement.

Until three days before break was to begin.

 **Xena:** Can you talk now?

 **Gabby:** Give me five minutes. Want me to call or you?

 **Xena:** I'll call you.

Five minutes later, hunkered down in a covered breezeway between the library and the administrative building, Emma's phone had buzzed in her hand.

"Hello beautiful. I wasn't expecting to talk to you today." Emma's smile could be heard through the phone.

"I know. But…" Regina hesitated. "There's something I need to tell you. Everything is screwed up."

Emma furrowed her brow. She could hear the frustration in Regina's voice. "Hey. It's ok. Whatever it is. What's going on?"

The brunette sighed and was quiet a moment. "What's going on is, my mother."

"What did she do now?" Emma had heard enough about the woman to know she didn't like her.

"It seems the Spencer's invited her to join them on their annual cruise of the Mediterranean. She didn't think it would be appropriate to go alone so she included me as her guest. Leo thinks it is wonderful. I've tried for the last three days to get out of it but… darling, I'm afraid I can't fight them both. I have no reason not to go. At least, none that I can tell them. I'm so upset. I want to see you… to be with you for the holidays." Regina's voice was shaking and Emma knew she was on the verge of tears.

"Hey now. Calm down. Maybe we can still see each other for a few minutes. When are you leaving?" Emma's mind was racing. She had to fix this.

"We fly to Monte Carlo in the morning. I'm so mad… and frustrated… and I could kill Leo. _Kill him_. He jumped on the bandwagon so quickly I imagine your Christmas dinner will be spent with his trollop at the dinner table. Mother I could handle, but the both of them together…" Her voice faded off. "I'm sorry, Emma. I've ruined everything."

"No. You haven't. This is just a bump in the road, babe. And it won't be like this forever. I'll be out of school before you know it. The important thing is, we can still talk and text. And then there's that weekend in January…" Now Emma was the one who let her voice fade off.

"Yes, there is that. And I can hardly wait." Regina was smiling now. They'd already made plans for the last week in January to meet in Boston. Leo was going to be in Chicago for a conference or something, Regina didn't know or care, and she had already made reservations at the Marquis.

They talked for a while longer and finally Regina was calm enough to say their goodbyes. But before she hung up, Regina had one more thing to tell Emma.

"Darling?"

"Yeah?"

"When you arrive, be sure to check the back of your closet. There _may_ be something there that interests you." The brunette's voice was flirtatious and made Emma's heart race.

"Oh yeah? Well, I will be sure to have a look. See you soon."

"Soon. I promise." Regina ended the call.

Emma stood for a few more minutes, the cold air burning in her lungs, making her feel alive. She was not happy one bit about spending two weeks at the Blanchard's without the object of her affection to distract her. What was she going to do for two weeks with people she barely liked?

~ (SQ) ~

"Oh, Em. That stinks. I'm sorry. But I understand." Mary Margaret frowned across the room at her friend. "But you can still go up for Christmas right?"

"Yes. I talked to Ruby and she said I could use her car. So, I'll drive up on Christmas Eve and spend the night and Christmas Day with you. I can stay until Monday and then I am expected back. Miss French said she's sorry but while everyone is away we can finish the crossover to the new barcode system." In truth, Emma had merely told the librarian that she had been invited to Mare's for the holiday but just didn't feel up to it. The young woman had been happy to help her find a way out.

"Well, I guess we will have to make the most of the long weekend then." Mare smiled at her friend. "So… will you be _seeing_ anyone else over break?"

Green eyes looked up in confusion. "Anyone else? I guess if anyone is on campus—"

"Not on campus, silly. You know who I mean." Mare gave a knowing look as she zipped up her suitcase. She was planning to go see David and his mother for a few hours before driving home tonight. Emma would drive up the next day.

"No, actually… I don't. What are you talking about?" Emma came and sat on Mare's suitcase so it would zip.

"Oh, Emma. Come on! I've seen you texting and sneaking out to talk to someone. Is it her? The girl you met in Boston?" The brunette's green eyes twinkled with curiosity.

"What!?" Emma had thought she was being careful.

Mare put her hands on her hips and arched a brow. "Emma. Seriously?" When Emma still said nothing, she threw up her hands in surrender. "Ok. Ok. If you want to pretend like you haven't been a whole new person these last few weeks and sneaking around talking to someone, that's fine. I'm only your best friend. But whatever."

 _Best friend._

The words rattled around in Emma's brain. Mary Margaret considered them best friends. Her stomach fell to her feet. This imperfect girl thought they were best friends and yet she was making plans to avoid her… to be with her step-mother.

Emma sighed. "Ok. Yeah. I have been talking to someone. You got me. And it is the woman I met in Boston. But… that's all I'm saying so don't push me, ok? And no, I won't be seeing her over break."

The pixie-haired girl squealed and grabbed Emma by both hands, sitting on the bed beside her. "Spill it. How'd you find her? What happened? I need details."

Emma laughed at the other girl's glee. "Did I not literally just say not to ask me questions? All that matters is, we worked everything out and we are… staying in touch, ok? Just let it go, Mare. If there is ever anything to tell, I promise I will tell you."

"Well, you are no fun, Emma Swan." Mare gave a very childish pout and stood, pulling her suitcase off the bed. "I better go or I'm going to be late. See you tomorrow."

~ (SQ) ~

 _Finally._

It had been a long day. Once Emma had driven the long drive to Mary Margaret's home, she had by-passed the turn to the home itself and gone into town. She wanted to pick up a couple gifts before headed to the estate.

She had only one stop in mind. The Velvet Underground.

She'd picked up a simple letter opener for Mr. Blanchard. She didn't care to give him a gift, but it would be rude not to. Then she chose for Mare an ornate porcelain dove. The girl seemed to have an obsession with all things winged and Emma knew she would love it even if it was just a tchotchke and nothing extravagant.

Finally, Emma ran her finger along the silk scarf she had seen all those weeks ago and wanted for Regina. It seemed a small gift for someone like the brunette, but admittedly, it was the most expensive thing she'd ever bought with her own money before. And she knew Regina would adore any gift from her.

Once everything was wrapped, Emma had driven back to the Blanchard's home. She was just in time for dinner. When the meal was over, they had slipped into the media room and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" with egg nog and pie. Just as Regina had predicted, Audrey had been the unexpected guest.

They would open gifts tomorrow morning after breakfast. Emma had placed them all under the tree, even Regina's. She knew it would be odd if she brought a gift for Mare and her father and nothing for Regina. And since the scarf wasn't an intimate gift, she felt safe leaving it for her. She'd get it when she returned.

Finally, alone in her room, Emma had said good night to Mare and crawled into bed. She was itching to get into the closet and see what Regina had left for her, but she wanted to be sure there was no chance she'd be interrupted. So she waited.

When the clock sounded midnight and Mare hadn't come into her room since they'd said goodnight at the top of the stairs, Emma felt it was safe to move. She slipped from the warm covers and made her way to the closet.

At first, nothing seemed to be what she was looking for. Then, there on the shelf and pushed to the back behind some extra blankets, she saw it. A small box, wrapped in shiny red paper with a large gold bow. A small tag hung from the ribbon, her name in Regina's elegant script.

 _To Emma…_

Sitting down in the closet with the door closed, Emma quietly opened the package. She was careful not to tear the paper or crush the bow. It probably spoke to some deeper issue that Emma should talk to a therapist about, but she wanted to save everything about this gift. It was the first thing Regina had ever given her—well, the first tangible thing—and she intended to keep the paper, the tape, the ribbon, the box… all of it.

The box slipped free of the paper and Emma took time to fold it neatly along the creased Regina had made with wrapping. She was in no rush. She wanted to savor this. The hinged lid of the small black velvet box squeaked as she opened it. Emma could only smile.

Inside was a gold necklace with a charm in the shape of an old fashioned skeleton key. At the center on the ornate head of the key was a small opal, full of fire. Emma ran her finger over the charm and felt tears pricking her eyes. The opal was her birthstone and this was the first she'd ever owned.

She immediately pulled the necklace free of the box and put it on. She liked the weight of it against her chest. It was beautiful and classic and exactly the sort of thing Regina would buy. It was perfect.

Something white sticking out from under the soft edge of the box caught Emma's attention. It was a note hidden under the lining of the box.

 _My darling, I am sorry I couldn't be with you for our first Christmas together. If there had been any other way, you know I would be there. I hope you like your gift. I thought of you the moment I saw it. For indeed you have the key to my heart and have unlocked in me feelings I thought long dead. Feelings of wonder… of hope… and of love. I cannot wait to see you again. Soon. I promise. Regina._

Emma's tears no longer pricked at her eyes. Now they cascaded down her face. She'd never felt more wanted, more loved.

 _Just a few more weeks and I'm going to tell her… in person… how much I love her._


	8. Chapter 8

_******* THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE! PLEASE READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER FIRST! *******_

 _ **A/N: Well... a lot if going to happen in this chapter. Like a lot... a lot. So I look forward to your feedback.**_

 _ **Thank you all for reading and commenting and sharing this story on social media. I love you for it. And I hope you love me back, lol.**_

 _ **Thanks as always to Jenn for just being awesome. You are a rose among thorns.**_

* * *

"Emma? Your Uber is here. I wish you'd just let me drive you into the city." Mary Margaret leaned against the door frame as Emma slung her duffel across her shoulder.

"I know. But trust me, this is the easiest way. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Emma gave the girl a one armed hug and nearly skipped down the stairs. She was finally going to see Regina again. The two months that had passed since Thanksgiving had seemed an eternity. Even with daily chats via phone or text and even sometimes on skype if they were willing to risk it… nothing would be like seeing her again, touching her, kissing her.

"And you still won't tell me who it is you are off to meet? I think I'd feel better if I knew that at least." Mare pouted as she followed Emma down the stone stairs.

"I told you, I am meeting my friend from Boston. She is a very private person and doesn't want me to share anything about her yet. She—"

"Don't you find it odd that she doesn't want you to even tell people her name? Why is that? Is she married? Or a fugitive? Oh! What if she is some killer just waiting to—"

"She isn't a killer. You've got to trust me on this. I know what I am doing. And while I appreciate your worry… it isn't necessary. You just enjoy your weekend with David and I will enjoy mine. I promise I'll be fine." Emma smiled as she loaded her bag into the car awaiting her.

She had never intended to tell Mary Margaret that she was going to Boston or why. That was too big a risk even if she left out names and details. The brunette had planned to go with David on a camping trip this weekend and should have been gone long before Emma's Uber arrived. Unfortunately, plans had changed and David had to cancel the camping portion of their trip. That meant Mare had a front row seat to Emma packing and leaving.

If Emma had been quick she might have just lied to Mare about where she was going or who she was meeting… but the change had caught her off guard. She'd had time only for the truth. But the other girl seemed to accept it. Emma was going to Boston to see her lady friend and no one could know about it. Mare's lips were sealed.

"Ok. If you are sure. Just be careful, Em. And call me if you need me." Another hug from Mary Margaret and Emma got in the car and shut the door. In just a short time, she'd be with Regina.

~ (SQ) ~

Emma stood in the room, looking at herself in the mirror. She'd bought a new dress online and was worrying with the hem. It wasn't her usual style but she knew Regina was going to love it. She tugged at the fuchsia material that clung to her body like a second skin. The dress barely grazed her knees and the sleeveless top hung low enough to be interesting without being trashy.

 _Looking good, Swan._

The plan was for Emma to check in and get settled. Regina would be along later and they'd go out on a proper date and enjoy dinner together. It was a small risk to be in public together, but neither of them cared. It was just so nice to think of being together and unashamed.

Emma's fingers fell to her necklace. She had scarcely spent a moment without it on since Christmas. Everyone in the Blanchard house had loved the gifts she'd given them, especially Regina. She'd thought the scarf was perfect. The blonde hoped that Regina brought it with her on this trip. She wanted to see it on her.

There was a sound from the other room and Emma turned and watched the door open.

 _Regina._

The brunette stepped in from the hall and dropped her bag by the door. Dark eyes settled on green as the door quietly clicked closed behind her. For a moment, neither of them moved nor spoke, merely standing and drinking each other in.

"My, Miss Swan… you clean up nice." Regina teased as her eyes traveled down Emma's form.

The girl's heart raged in her chest at the sound of the woman's voice. "Oh? You like this old thing?" She smiled and smoothed her hands across her stomach and down the fronts of her thighs.

Regina's hands were busy unbuttoning her coat as her eyes burned into Emma. The blonde smiled seeing the red scarf tied about the brunette's neck. As the coat fell away revealing a tight black dress with a belt and plunging neckline, Emma felt a sudden surge of heat in her abdomen. Slowly, Regina pulled the scarf from her neck and let it dangle from her finger tips. They had yet to make a move toward each other. "Yes, I do. I think I'll like it even more when I get you out of it."

Emma swallowed hard. There she was… the Regina she had met her first night in Boston. So many sides to the woman had been revealed to her in the months since that night, but this version—this powerful, confident, sexy creature—hadn't made an appearance in all that time. Now, she stalked closer to Emma, a predatory glint in her dark eyes, silk scarf still hanging loose in her hand.

Without taking her eyes away from Emma, Regina began unfastening the belt around her own waist and dropped it on the floor along with the scarf at Emma's feet. Her hands smoothed up both the blonde's arms and onto her shoulders. Plump red lips brushed like a whisper against her own lighter ones. Emma couldn't help the moan that escaped her.

Regina grinned at the sound and let her hand tangle in Emma's curls, pulling gently, exposing the porcelain column of her neck. Lips ghosted along the junction of her shoulder and throat and finally took hold of her earlobe and planted a soft kiss there. Green eyes fell shut and for a moment the only sense Emma needed was touch. Her skin was sparking with anticipation.

"So, darling, why don't we get you out of it? Hmmm?" Regina husked in her ear, placing another feather light kiss against her pulse point. Nimble fingers reached under Emma's arm for the zip.

"I thought we had dinner reservations. Aren't you hungry?" Emma knew it was pointless to even mention, but her brain wasn't able yet to keep up with the liquid fire coursing through her veins.

A deliciously dark chuckle sounded from the brunette buried in the crook of her neck and the sound went straight to the apex of Emma's thighs. "Indeed I am quite hungry. I haven't had a bite in months." Regina pulled back and eyes swimming in desire met her own. "I'm starving for a taste… _of you_."

A war raged within Emma then. Part of her wanted to rip the clothes from both their bodies and fall into bed. She wanted to bring Regina to the edge as quickly as she could. She wanted to see the agony of pleasure contort her face as she crashed over the pinnacle of bliss. She wanted it desperately… and she wanted it now.

But another part of her, a part that was fighting to be heard, wanted to take her time. She wanted to taste Regina's kisses, to map out every inch of her golden skin. She wanted to tease her and carefully lead her to the place of complete and total surrender until the only words… the only sounds… the only sensations left in the world were their shared ecstasy.

The war ended when Regina crashed their mouths together and pressed Emma's back hard against the wall. The dark woman would lead this dance. There was a wanton desperation in her kisses, a frantic pace in her hands and the realization that it was due to her own uncontrolled need to be one with Emma made the blonde shiver.

"I've missed you." Regina whispered against Emma's lips. "I've missed you so much."

Emma groaned and let her head loll back against the wall. Overstimulated and overwhelmed by the sheer force of Regina's presence engulfing her, the blonde let go of everything tethering her to planet Earth and allowed herself to orbit the brand new sun… Regina.

Again, Regina's lips kissed and suckled along Emma's neck. She nipped with teeth and soothed with her tongue a path from throat to the soft swell of milky white breasts. Her breath was ragged, her brown eyes wild and if not for her knowledge that the woman meant her no harm, Emma may have been afraid. But there was something else in those eyes that made Emma's heart soar.

 _Love_.

She could see it there as sure as she knew it was in her own. Regina wanted her. Regina seemed unhinged with desire for her. But Regina loved her. Of that, there was no doubt.

Armed with that knowledge and suddenly feeling very brave, Emma flipped their positions and Regina was the one pinned to the wall. Pale fingers encircled olive-toned wrists and held them above her head against the wall. Almost as if answering an unspoken demand, Regina laid her head to the left and bared her neck to Emma.

The blonde wasted no time laying waste to the perfect skin with her own assault of nips and kisses. The air became thick with the sounds of pleasured sighs and hungry groans. Emma released the woman's hands and pressed close to her body. Regina's arms encircled her shoulders as she pushed free of the wall. The dance had changed again and soon they two stumbled into the other room, onto the bed and into each other.

~ (SQ) ~

When love was over, they lay facing each other in the darkened room, studying each other and saying nothing. Regina traced Emma's lips with her fingers, dragging the back of her hand across her cheek, brown eyes glistening with tears.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Her voice was ragged from their love making… from crying Emma's name into the night.

Emma shook her head in response. "No. But I do know that I love you."

She hadn't meant to say those words just then. No, she had a plan. There was a very specific set of circumstances under which she had intended to say them. Not in post-coital bliss, with flushed cheeks and mussed air. Not naked and covered in a sheen of sweat. No. She had meant to say it in her fuchsia dress, holding Regina's hands, standing in the cold Boston night with a light snow falling. She had rehearsed.

And yet… now she had said it.

Regina gasped at the words and the tears that had made her eyes glisten moments ago now broke free and spilled down her cheeks. Then, a smile proclaiming joy eternal spread across her face and she kissed Emma gently on the lips.

"And I love you, my darling. I love you, I love you, I love you. More than life itself."

Now it was Emma who began to cry. She pulled the other woman to her, holding her close, as if she would disappear from the bed unless Emma held on to her.

"I think I've known it for a while… maybe since the first week we spent here together. But I just didn't know how you would react if I said it. I love you, Regina. And I am hopelessly in love with you. You are it for me, you hear me? There is nothing… and no one who will ever mean more to me than you do. I love you so much." Emma wondered if her words even made sense as she sobbed them out.

Regina pulled back and placed a hand on each of Emma's cheeks, making the younger woman look at her. "My darling, sweet Emma… I don't know what the future holds and I am sure we will meet some adversity before we get our happy ending, but believe me when I say, there will _never_ be anyone else but you for me. I've been falling in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. You have made a home for yourself in my heart and I never want you to leave."

"A home?" Emma whispered reverently. She had never had a home before. Always she had searched. She'd even thought she found one with the Hamilton's once. But was Regina saying her heart was Emma's home?

"Yes… a home. You belong with me and I with you. Nothing else matters. And one day, not so very far from now, we will be together every night in our bed, and I will tell you every night how very much I love you." Regina kissed her again then, slow and meaningful.

They lay there in each other's arms for a time, just being together. The emotions and weight of their confessions lingered around them. Regina's head lay on Emma's chest, nuzzled under the younger woman's chin. Neither of them spoke. They merely drank in the moment.

Until Emma's belly growled.

"It seems someone is hungry." Regina propped up on her elbows and smiled at the woman beneath her. "Let me order up some room service for us. I know we intended to go out but… we are not leaving this bed except to let the food in."

"Hey. You'll get no objections from me." Emma laughed and pulled Regina back to her, flipping their positions so she was now hovering over the other woman.

"Darling… you'll have to release me if you want some dinner." Regina giggled as Emma peppered her face with kisses.

"But I don't want to." Emma kissed her on each cheek, on her forehead, on her chin and tip of her nose.

Regina squeezed Emma's side in the spot she knew she was ticklish and made the blonde squeal and squirm away. Seeing an opportunity, Regina leapt from the bed and grinned at her love. "I think I'll order you up a plate of pasta. Trust me… you are going to need your energy tonight."

Emma fell back on her back comically and threw an arm across her face. "You are killing me!"

"Yes, but what a lovely way to go." Regina picked up the receiver and dialed room service. Placing a hand over the mouthpiece she purred to Emma. "Now, go draw us a bath and we will rest up before our dinner comes.

Emma was more than happy to comply.

~ (SQ) ~

Regina was just slipping on her robe from the bath when a knock sounded at the door.

"Room service was fast tonight." Emma grinned, toweling the ends of her hair. "Want me to get it?"

"No, you go ahead and finish up. I'll get it." Regina kissed her lightly on the lips and turned to go.

Emma couldn't help but smile as she wiped away the steam from the mirror and saw her own reflection. To say she was happy was the understatement of her life. She had never felt just like she did right now. Everything, somehow, was finally falling into place.

Pulling on her panties and an oversized t-shirt, Emma suddenly remembered cheese. With her pasta she had asked Regina to be sure they brought up a shaker of parmesan to add to the already over-cheesed dish. But she made no apologies for her love of cheesy goodness.

Stepping to the bedroom door, still toweling her ends, Emma called out to her love. "Hey babe. Be sure they didn't forget the… Oh no."

It hadn't been room service after all. Standing in the door, staring in disbelief at Regina's shocked face was Mary Margaret Blanchard. Beyond her, Emma could see Ruby, Lily and two other girls from their dorm who seemed confused as to why Mare was frozen to her spot.

"Holy shit, Em. You're gay?" Ruby broke the tense silence. "Why didn't you tell us?! This is awesome!"

The other girls joined in with excited approval and elbowed past Mare and Regina into the room. With very little regard for what was happening around them, the giggling girls flopped on the sofa and a chair and made themselves quite at home.

"Nice room. Is this where we put her up on fall break?" Lily looked around and opened the curtains to see the view.

"Yeah, something like this although I don't think the room we booked was this big. Em, how could you afford this? Definitely not on a library assistant's salary." Ruby winked and propped her feet up on the table.

Emma could only stare.

"What are you doing here?" She finally squeaked out.

Ruby opened her mouth to answer but Mare cut her off, still standing in the doorway.

"What are _we_ doing here? I think the better question is what is _she_ doing here?" The girl was shaking and her voice gave it away.

Regina, suddenly coming to life, reached a hand out to the girl. "Mary Margaret, please… I know this looks bad but—"

"Looks bad? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You don't even get to speak to me." Mare charged past Regina and straight to her roommate. "How could you do this Emma? With _her_ of all people?!"

Hearing the expletive and anger coming from the usually calm brunette made Ruby and the others stand and turn to their friend. She eyed the woman still clutching her robe closed and recognition dawned on her. "Oh my god… I know you. You're… you're… you're her step-mom. Right? Aren't you? I met you last spring break. Holy shit."

Lily and the other girls turned stunned faces to Regina, and then again to Emma and Mare standing toe to toe. Lily spoke up. "I think it's time for us to go girls. Mare, we will be down in the lobby." The quartet slipped away with their eyes trained on the rug and Regina closed the door behind them.

"Mary Margaret please—"

"God dammit, Regina. Shut up! I don't want to hear a word from you. I want to hear it from Emma. My supposed _best friend_." The words stung as they flew into Emma's face.

"Mare, I know you don't understand… you can't possibly understand… but Regina is the woman I met over break. I had no idea she was your step-mother back then. We fell in love—" Emma's eyes met Regina's across the room, "—we are in love and I'm sorry that you are hurt but I can't be sorry for loving her."

Mare threw her arms up in the air and yelled at the blonde. "You had no idea? You had no idea? Well, I might be able to forgive what you did when you didn't know any better but you sure as hell know now. And here you are… _fucking her_?! I expect this sort of behavior from a gold digging whore like—"

Mary Margaret was silenced by Emma's hand striking her face. No one was going to call Regina a whore.

"Oh… you are going to regret that, Emma Swan. I'm going to tell my daddy. And then both of you will wish you had never met." Mare turned and headed for the door.

"Please, just listen to us… let us explain." Regina grabbed the girl by the arm and tried to stop her.

Mare jerked her arm free and glared at her step-mother, eyes full of betrayal and hate. "I'd say fuck you, Regina but it looks like Emma already has." Pulling the door open she called back over her shoulder. "You two deserve each other. Gutter trash wannabes who don't belong around decent people like me or my father."

And with that, she was gone.

Emma looked at Regina with tear filled eyes. "Oh, Regina. What are we going to do?"

Regina crossed the distance between them swiftly and pulled the girl into her embrace. "I don't know, darling but I will think of something. I won't lose you… I can't lose you."

Another knock sounded on the door and Emma jumped, dashing to open it. "Mary Margaret?"

"No, madam. Room service. And I've remembered your parmesan."

~ (SQ) ~

The ride back to Foxhaven was a somber one. Everyone was afraid to speak. Mary Margaret sat in the front seat while Ruby drove and stared out the window. She had never been more hurt than she was right then.

 _How could Emma do this to me?_

When Emma had shown up wearing the key necklace after Christmas, Mare had wondered where it came from. Emma had said it was a gift from the woman in Boston. She reluctantly admitted they'd run into each other again and rekindled their romance. She had trusted her friend and been happy that things were working out. Now she felt like a fool.

All that time at Thanksgiving, riding horses and whispering to each other. God! All that time they had been sneaking around under her nose… cuckolding her father and making a fool of him too. As she had tried to tell Emma—her cheek burned at the memory of being struck by her friend—she expected this from someone like Regina. But Emma was supposed to be different. Emma was her friend.

 _And she knows about the baby._

Mare shook her head. How could she have been so stupid to tell Emma? But it didn't matter. She had planned to tell her father about the baby soon anyway. It wasn't the sort of thing she would be able to hide for much longer. She was due before graduation and she wasn't about to risk being found out. She fully planned to tell.

She smiled a self-satisfied smile. Emma would probably think she could hold the pregnancy over her head, to keep her silent about the affair for a while. But she wasn't going to be blackmailed. She'd just tell daddy sooner than she had wanted to.

When Emma had gotten in the Uber and driven away from campus, Mare had gotten in the car with her friends intending to follow her. It had been killing Mary Margaret to keep Emma's sexuality a secret. And she wanted to know who this woman that was so special was. She cared about Emma. She wanted to be sure she was safe.

And if the other girls just happened to find out on their own that Emma was gay… well, that wasn't the same as telling her secret.

Emma had gotten out in front of the Marquis and gone inside. Mare knew that Emma planned to go out to dinner with whomever was meeting her there. So the five girls planned to sit in the car outside the hotel and wait until they came out. It seemed like they had waited forever when someone else caught Mary's green eyes, smiling and speaking to the doorman.

She was sure she was wrong. It couldn't possibly be. But deep inside she knew she had seen her step-mother enter the hotel. Maybe it was a coincidence. That's what she tried to tell herself as they sat and waited. After an hour had passed, a man tapped on the glass and asked if Ruby could please move. She was blocking the entrance. Begrudgingly they had circled the block, hoping they hadn't missed Emma and her lover slipping out for dinner.

Ruby found a parking spot further down and again, they had waited. Another hour passed and the girls were restless. They wanted to go home. But Mary Margaret had to know. So she'd convinced them all to join her in going right up to Emma's door and knocking.

There was no room under Emma Swan's name. It hadn't taken long for Mary Margaret to convince the man at the front desk to search for a room under the name Regina Blanchard. Still, there was no room. Finally, Mare had rubbed her temples and asked him to check for Regina Mills.

With every passing floor as the elevator climbed to the room, Mare hoped and prayed it was all a mistake… a misunderstanding. But she knew. She knew without a doubt what she was going to find when she reached the room.

Seeing Regina in a robe opening the door, her damp hair curling about her face… watching her smile fade and morph into shock… fear… horror… that still hadn't answered the question definitively. Maybe Regina was with someone else. But then Emma had appeared, half naked and hair wet from their bath, calling the woman 'babe' and it had all fallen into place.

Emma had betrayed Mary Margaret. She had destroyed their friendship. She had broken the unwritten rule and gone to bed with the one person off limits to her.

 _How could she do this to me?_

"Mare? Do you want to talk about it?" Ruby's voice was as soft as anyone in the car had ever heard it.

Resolved to do what she knew she had to do, Mare turned to her friend and answered her with confidence. "No. I just want you to get me home. Daddy will be home tomorrow from his trip to Chicago and I'll be waiting for him when he gets there."

 _And then, Regina Mills is going to pay. She's taken the last person away from me she's going to._

~ (SQ) ~

Regina laid in the bed, listening to Emma breathe. They had both cried and held each other in fear after Mary Margaret left with her friends. Regina had pushed past the fear. She had overcome the shock. The main emotion she had then was anger.

The girl had deliberately set out to hurt Emma by bringing all those girls with her here. Even if it hadn't been Regina in the room with her, the princess knew Emma was with a woman and wasn't ready to tell anyone about her sexuality.

 _As if that were anyone's business anyway._

After the anger had begun to ebb and the reality of what lay ahead of them had sunk in, Regina had felt nothing at all. She was numb. On the surface, it seemed like this was actually a good thing. They would have told people about their relationship eventually. This had only shifted the timeline.

Regina would face Leo. It wasn't like he hadn't done the same and worse to her. He kept Audrey in an apartment for goodness sake. But the thought of Leo made her blood run cold. Would he just let this go? His cheating made him feel like a powerful man… she was sure of it. But _her_ cheating? That would be a blow to his inflated ego.

Regina sighed into the darkness and turned her face to look at Emma's sleeping form.

They had gone to bed and decided that nothing could be done until morning. Leo was in Chicago and wouldn't return for a couple days. At least, that was the last Regina had heard of his itinerary. So there was no reason for them to go rushing after Mary Margaret.

Emma was certain they should follow her and try to talk some sense into her but Regina knew better. What she needed was some space… and time to cool her jets. They'd stay here together tonight, and tomorrow they would make a plan. Then on Sunday afternoon they'd go home just as they had intended to all along.

Emma would return to school, and if Mare was there, she would talk to her. Regina would return home and speak to Leo and if Mare was there, she'd talk to her. But there was no need to be hasty. No need to rush into things recklessly. They had time. Everything was going to be ok.

At least, that's what she had told Emma.

But now, in the dark, after Emma had finally lost her battle with sleep, Regina was worried. She wasn't sure what was pulling at her but something, somehow, just wasn't right. She felt a need to get home right away.

Instead, she shook off the worry and rolled onto her side, curling into Emma and wrapping her arms around the blonde's slender waist. In her sleep, the younger woman moved until she was snuggled close to Regina and sighed. Her warm breath danced across Regina's skin and she too gave herself over to sleep.

~ (SQ) ~

Despite the circumstances, Emma allowed herself to enjoy the time she had with Regina over the weekend. Once the initial shock had worn off, it was easy to see that this could be a good thing. It would all be out in the open now. Everyone would know she was gay. And she and Regina could be together. No more sneaking. No more hiding.

The weekend had been spent much as she had expected. They had remained in the room, eating room service and just being together. They had made love and each time it had carried an urgency, a desperation. It was as if, regardless of the words they had said insisting things would work out, their bodies were afraid to believe and clung to one another as if each kiss, each touch were the last.

Emma had intended to take an Uber home but Regina had called nixed that idea. Her first suggestion was to take Emma back to school herself but Emma wouldn't hear of it. If Mary Margaret was at school, seeing them together might just set her off again. In the end, Regina had called for a car to take her. The concierge had just called up to let her know the car was ready.

"Have you got everything?" Regina asked, slipping on her heels and adjusting her scarf.

"Yes. I have everything. Are you sure this is going to be ok? I don't feel right sending you home to him alone." Emma switched her duffel from hand to hand.

Regina only smiled. "I told you, don't worry about him. I can handle him. As long as you love me, I can handle anything." She kissed Emma lightly and looked down at her bag. "Remind me next week and we will buy you some proper luggage. If you are going to keep buying those sexy dresses to wear for me, you will need a garment bag for them." The woman kissed her again and pulled on her coat.

"How can you be so calm about all this, babe? I think I'm gonna puke before we get to the lobby, let alone to home." Emma took a deep breath and blew it out slowly to combat the nausea that had swept over her.

Regina stopped then and took Emma's hands in hers. "I can be calm because no matter what happens with Leo or Mary Margaret… I _know_ that you love me. And I love you. That is all that really matters. We can survive this."

Brown eyes were so confident and filled with such love that Emma couldn't help but believe the words she had spoken. A smile slowly replaced her worried frown.

"Now. There's my beautiful smile. Don't worry, darling. Everything will be fine. And we will see each other. Soon. I promise." Regina returned Emma's smile.

In a few minutes, the two women stood on the sidewalk before the Marquis and tried to say their goodbyes. Neither wanted to part from the other, even though they knew they must. The driver put Emma's duffel into the trunk and opened the door for her. As if no one was watching at all, Regina pulled the blonde into an embrace and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"Just remember, I love you. And everything is going to be alright."

Emma smiled and stepped off the curb. "I love you too. See you soon."

The driver closed the door and ran around to the other side, driving Emma away toward Foxhaven. She turned and watched Regina out the tinted back window. She was stood on the sidewalk, waving and watching Emma's car until she was completely out of sight.

 _Soon._

~ (SQ) ~

Just as Emma had suspected, Mare wasn't at school when she arrived. Ruby reported that the girl had left the morning after they had all come to Boston. No one mentioned what they had seen. No one mentioned what they now knew about Emma.

And Emma was glad about it.

She had texted Regina to let her know what to expect when she got home but the woman hadn't replied. Emma assumed it was because she was driving. But she hadn't responded that night either.

Deciding to trust Regina, as she had said she would, Emma waited patiently to hear from her. But the days passed and there wasn't a word from the other woman. None of her texts were being replied to. Emma worried that perhaps her messages weren't getting through, so on Wednesday, she called. The call went unanswered.

Even though she knew this was unusual, Emma waited. She went to class every day, ate lunch in the cafeteria and went to work at the library… always checking her phone for some word from Regina. But still, nothing.

On Friday, Frank had arrived and packed up all of Mary Margaret's things. The girl would not be returning to school. It seems she had been accepted into a program abroad and would be graduating from a prestigious school in Paris. Everyone knew what that meant and soon the school was abuzz with talk of Mary Margaret being pregnant, Emma Swan being a lesbian and the ultra-taboo topic… Emma was involved with a married woman.

Some said she was a teacher. Others insisted it was someone's mom. But only the four girls across the hall knew the truth and none of them were talking… not even to Emma. Emma was sort of glad about that. She didn't have time for idle gossip. She needed to hear from Regina.

"Em? You ok?" Ruby knocked on the open door to the room Emma now occupied alone.

"Uh… yeah. Sure." Emma lay on her bed looking at her phone, willing it to ring. It was late Sunday night and had been over a week now since she had heard from Regina. She had spent most of Saturday calling hospitals and police departments and anyone else she could think of to be sure the woman hadn't been in an accident on her way home.

"I don't think you are. Do you… you know… want to talk?" The girl came into the room and sat on Mare's old bed. "I know I make a big show of being wild and shit, but I lie about a lot of that. The truth is… if I were going through what you are right now I don't know what I'd do. So, if you need a friend…"

Emma looked up at the brunette with a sad smile. She had to respect Ruby admitting she wasn't as world-wise as she pretended. "Thanks, Rubes. I appreciate it. I guess I owe you a bit of thanks for sending me to Boston back on break. Otherwise I might never have met Regina at all."

Ruby shrugged. "Have you… heard from her?"

Emma shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. "No. She said everything would be ok. And I've been calling and texting but I can't get her on the phone. What if he did something to her? He's not like Mare says… he's—"

"I know. I've been home with her before. They treat her step-mother like shit. And dude! How much older than her is he anyway. That's just creepy. Though I would never have said so to Mare. She worships him." Ruby slipped off Mary Margaret's bed and knelt by Emma's.

"I just wish I knew what was going on, you know? Maybe I should go up there and check on her. I think I'd feel better if I could just see that she is alright. I'm willing to wait and let her work it out. She said she was going to try to talk to Mare and to her father and see if they could resolve this peaceably… like adults. But what if…" Emma trailed off as new tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Hey. Don't cry. If you want to go see her, then go see her. You can drive my car. I trust you. And when you get back we will have some chill time. I've got a half gallon of peanut butter fudge ice cream just going to waste in my fridge. We can eat that and talk or watch a movie. Whatever you want." Ruby pulled Emma to her feet and toward the door. "Let me get you my keys."

Within minutes, despite the late hour, Emma was on her way. Ruby had hugged her as she got in the car and said words that made Emma's heart feel warm.

"I know things have been rough for you… but I'm here for you. Whenever you need a friend, I'm your girl, ok?"

Emma had only nodded and driven off into the night. She may have lost her friendship with Mare but she was finding out there were other people in this world who she could count on and now, Ruby was one of them.

~ (SQ) ~

When Emma pulled up in front of the Blanchard mansion, she began to have second thoughts about her rash decision to come. It was well after two in the morning by the time she arrived. Even if Regina was here she was surely asleep. But something in Emma was certain she wasn't here… she wasn't safe.

And that fear pushed her to ring the doorbell.

For a long time nothing happened. So she rang the bell again. Frustration rising, she began to pound on the door with her fist and call into the dark house "Regina? Regina!? Are you in there?"

The light over the door sprang to life and a very angry Mrs. Bullary pulled the door open. "May I help you?"

"I want to see Regina." Emma tried to look into the house beyond the woman.

"I'm sorry, miss. But it may have escaped your notice that it is the middle of the night. Mrs. Blanchard will be sleeping now and certainly will not entertain guests. Please leave." She pushed the door closed in Emma's face but the blonde saw it coming and pushed back. She knocked Mrs. Bullary out of the way and rushed into the dark house.

"Regina! Regina! Are you here? Come out and talk to me. Regina!"

Emma was already half way up the staircase when the room was flooded with light. There, on the landing in her gray silk robe, sleep in her eyes and hair mussed, stood Regina.

"Regina?" Emma stopped dead in her tracks when Leo and Mary Margaret appeared behind Regina.

"Emma? What are you doing here?" Regina's voice is rough from sleep but Emma detects something else. A cold distance she had never heard before.

"What am I… Regina, I've been calling and texting you for over a week. I was worried sick. What's going on?" Emma could hear the tears in her voice even if they had yet to escape her eyes. Something was terribly wrong here.

"Well, I would have thought after a week of my ignoring you that you would have taken the hint." Regina lifted her chin and looked at Emma with indifference.

"Ignoring me? Regina… what are you talking about? You said… you said you were going to fix everything. What's going on? Is he forcing you—"

"No one is forcing me to do anything, Miss Swan. I am sorry if you are hurt by this but… what we shared—whatever it was—is over. I'm sorry if you misunderstood—"

"Misunderstood!? Are you fucking crazy? Regina! Don't do this. Whatever he said or did to make you do this… don't! Come with me now and let's run away from here. We don't need them or their money or their power. We have each other. I love you. And you said… you promised." Emma was sobbing now. "You said you loved me and we would be ok… together."

Regina stiffened at her words and she looked away. "I imagine I've said a great many things in my life that I didn't mean in order to protect myself or the ones I love. Now please, Miss Swan, I must ask you to leave my house and leave me and my family alone."

"Regina? Shall I phone the police?" Leo spoke from behind his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No. I don't think that will be necessary. Will it, Emma?" Regina looked right at her but didn't seem to see her. And all Emma could do was cry.

"Regina… please… why are you doing this? Please don't… don't say you don't love me. Please…" Emma wasn't sure anyone could even understand the garbled words as she sobbed on the stairs. In a moment, a pair of strong hands gripped her around the waist as Frank physically removed her from the house and set her out in the night.

The door clicked shut behind her and the porch light was shut off, plunging her and the house into complete darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Well... this is an interesting turn of events. I intended this to be the final chapter of this story but my muse has been working over time. So, this is the next to the last chapter. I hope to have the closing events written soon. Maybe even this week if I can swing it.**_

 _ **Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and making contact with me on social media. I love you for it. And thanks for hanging in there after that very difficult to read ending on the last chapter. I cried too.**_

* * *

"Man on the hall!"

Emma was laying in her bed, the covers pulled up over her head. She had thought about going to class today, but she just couldn't. What day was it anyway?

"Man on the hall!" The alarm was closer now. It was one of the curiosities of an all-girls high school. Every time a man of any age or station was in the building, a call sounded from one end of the building to the other to warn everyone. Cover your nakedness. Hide your contraband. A man… was coming.

Emma heard a tentative knock on her door.

"I know! I know! Man on the hall. Now leave me the fuck alone."

"Emma?" A kind voice came muffled through the door. "It's Dr. Hopper. Could I come in?"

The blonde groaned and put a pillow on top of the blanket already on her head. "I'm not really up to company, sir. Could you maybe come back later?"

There was a long moment of silence and Emma wondered if he had gone or if the weight of bedding on her head had rendered her deaf to his response. She didn't wonder long.

"No… um, actually I don't think I can. I need to speak with you… now." His voice was still kind, but firm this time. It was clear he had no intention of leaving.

Emma flopped on her back and stared at the ceiling, contemplating her next move. She had been holed up in this dorm room since that night… the night that ruined her. She had only intended to sleep and wallow in her pain for one day but now… was this the weekend again? She wasn't sure.

The girls on the hall had checked on her, Ruby being the most persistent. She'd found a sandwich just inside the door every day at lunch time… also probably from Ruby. But all that had accomplished was a trash bin full of ham and cheese and chips.

Somewhere along the third day (or was it the fifth? Her memory was hazy.), she had noticed the pain in her chest had fled in the face of a paralyzing numbness. She'd actually expected that sooner. Usually she could count on the numbness right away to alleviate any pesky feelings that threatened her sanity.

Maybe it was a throwback from years of stuffing her emotions in little boxes and filing them away in a dark closet in her heart that no one ever got to look into. Maybe it was a survival tactic developed over the years when feeling rejected, abandoned, alone had become too much to handle. Whatever the cause, numbness had always protected her when she needed it most. But somehow… some way… _she_ had even broken down that last retreat of her heart. So it had taken three whole… or was it five days to feel the sweet relief of numbness.

"Emma? I'm afraid I must insist you open the door and speak to me." Dr. Hopper's voice cut through the fog in her brain. He really was a persistent one.

"Ok. Yeah. Just… give me a minute. I'm not decent." She lied effortlessly. It had been a long time since she had lied to anyone. She had given that up. It never worked in her favor. And it rubbed her the wrong way to be dishonest. "Just a sec, ok?"

"Sure. I'll wait." Dr. Hopper was someone Emma had spoken to only a few times. He was actually the guidance counselor on campus, helping the girls make decisions about classes and colleges and academic trajectories. But he was also a bona fide doctor of psychology. He was a licensed therapist and offered his services to the students of Foxhaven for free as a part of his position there.

Emma had never felt the need to talk to him. She had things under control. She knew enough about her own mind to recognize her hang ups, her defense mechanisms, her triggers. She had, however, talked to him several times about Tufts. And about scholarships and loans and grants and entrance exams and letters of recommendation. Dr. Hopper was an ally in making the only dream she had left come true.

Emma drug herself up from the bed and looked at her face in the mirror. She frowned, wondering at the sight. Her hair was a mess, stringy and limp. She hadn't showered since… She closed her eyes and shook her head. She had on the oversized t-shirt she had slept in when she was with _her_ in Boston. It had smelled like her the first night. Now it smelled like Emma… in need of a bath.

The blonde pulled on a pair of basketball shorts sticking out of the corner of a drawer and knotted her hair into a bun on the back of her head. She held her hand in front of her mouth and huffed out a breath. She frowned. Nothing she could do about the furry feeling on her tongue and teeth now. She rifled through the satchel on her desk and found a half empty box of Altoids. That would have to do.

"Emma?" Dr. Hopper was still waiting.

She looked at herself one more time and sat back on the edge of the bed. She was beginning to feel dizzy. Maybe standing up so suddenly had… "Yeah. Ok. Come in."

The door opened to reveal the gentle blue eyes, soft red hair and understanding smile of the man. Emma wanted to throttle him. She didn't want kindness. She wanted to be left alone. Alone. Like she would be forever without _her._

If Dr. Hopper was shocked by the state of the blonde, to his credit, he hid it. He seemed unfazed by the sights and smells of her and her unkempt room as he wedged the door into a permanently open position and sat on Mare's old bed.

"Hi Emma. Ruby tells me you have been ill. I wanted to check on you. Do you need to see the nurse?" The man's gentle voice was disarming but Emma knew all his tricks. She'd seen a therapist before. She wasn't going to spill her guts just because he smiled and tilted his head just so.

She had to swallow her words before she told him everything. _Damn you, Ruby, for ratting me out._ "No. I think I'm good. Sorry you made the trip out for nothing."

"Emma." The man's voice was still gentle as ever but there was a determination in him that seemed out of place alongside his sweater vests and loafers. "You don't have to tell me what is wrong, but it has been brought to my attention… _by several_ students and a number of your teachers that you have not been to class in six days. Now, you may not be aware but if you miss eight days you will be declared voluntarily withdrawn."

Emma frowned. Had she been in this room so long? Dr. Hopper seemed to read her confused face.

"In other words, if you don't go to class tomorrow then your scholarship will be revoked, you will be asked to leave by the end of the week and you _will not_ graduate. Do you have somewhere to go if you are kicked out of here?"

"Kicked out… I…" Emma was confused. How could she have missed six days of class? That would mean… she'd squealed her tires onto campus in the wee hours of Monday morning after… "Is this Monday?"

"No, this is Tuesday morning. You missed all last week and yesterday. That accounts for the six days. It is still early enough today you _could_ go to class but I can see you are in no condition to do so. But, if you do not get yourself together today and go to class tomorrow, you will be expelled, Emma. And… I'm sorry to tell you this, but you will have a great deal of difficulty ever getting into a school like Tufts if that happens. You've already had trouble with the police in your past. You are nearing the age limit for first time freshmen. And without the prestige of graduating with a good GPA from a school like Foxhaven… I'm not sure you will make the cut. Plus there is the matter of the scholarships you should already be applying for… So, I need you to help me help you, ok? What can I do?"

"Tuesday?" Had she really been holed up in this room for over a week without a bath… or a bite to eat?

"Yes, Tuesday. Emma… what happened? Were you hurt?" Kind eyes. He had such kind eyes. Emma wanted to gouge them out… to make him hurt like she had hurt… like she was beginning to hurt now because he had disrupted the numbness with his questions.

She knew what kind of hurt he meant when he asked. He wanted to know if she'd been attacked—raped—or something awful that his man-brain could comprehend. That kind of violation was the only one that seemed capable of rendering otherwise bright and lively blondes into confused states like hers, right? Heartbreak… that word made her laugh internally. It was as if _she_ had reached a bare hand into her chest, ripped her heart free of its bone prison and crushed it into dust in front of her. _What was the question again?_ "Yeah. I've been hurt, but not like you mean. I thought… someone loved me… once. And I was wrong."

Why had she told him that? Her mouth wasn't listening to the commands of her mind. She was weak. Maybe she should have eaten one of Ruby's sandwiches.

"Emma? Why don't I go get us some soup from the cafeteria? Hmmm? Miss Lucas said she would help you with a shower. You'll feel better able to talk to me with something warm in your belly. And a hot shower always relaxes us when we've been through a trauma." The man smiled and Emma wondered absently if he had a wife and children at home. He'd make a good father.

"Thank you, Emma. I hope someday I will but until then, you girls are my children."

She must've said that last part out loud. Dammit! Her traitorous mouth was talking out of turn again. She had to get control of herself. She had to…

"Emma?" The man's voice was closer but she couldn't see him clearly. Oh. She'd closed her eyes and laid down on her soft pillow. Maybe she'd just lay here another minute and sleep. She just wanted to sleep. "Ruby? Call the nurse. She's waiting downstairs. I'd hoped you were exaggerating…"

The words fled her hearing. She shouldn't have tried to stand up so long. She wasn't ready. Ham and cheese sounded like a good choice with her soup and squealing tires. _Her._ Was she hungry? She'd share her soup with her… even after the way she'd looked through her. That was love, right? Sharing your soup with someone who didn't even see you?

"I love her, ya know?"

"Yeah, Em. I know." Ruby's voice settled over her and she wondered what day this was.

"Is this Monday?"

~ (SQ) ~

Emma stood looking over the clothes in her closet. She knew she should already have made this choice before today but she had been so busy with finishing up everything for classes to ensure she got to wear her cap and gown that the last thing on her mind was what she would wear _under_ her cap and gown.

"I think you should wear _that._ " Ruby pointed to a white sundress with green accents in the material. "I always see it hanging there but you never wear it. And it's gonna be hot out on the field all day. You need something light under the robe."

Emma fingered the material. It was one of the only things Regina had bought her that she had kept. Dr. Hopper had felt it might be in her best interest to get rid of some of those things since they seemed to trigger bad days for her. She had agreed. But she kept some of them. She didn't want to erase the woman from her memory. After everything that had happened… she still loved her.

"Maybe. But won't the green look odd against the navy blue robe?" Emma smiled at her friend.

 _Friend._ That was what Ruby was. Who would ever have thought she would consider the girl her friend? After her melt down, Ruby had been there for her when everyone else treated her like a leper. She had even moved into Mare's place for a time. Some nights she still came over and slept in the bed across from Emma's.

"Nah. There won't be that much showing anyway on the bottom edge. And the dress is white. I bet most people won't even see the green. Wear it, Em. I think it will be your best bet. You can't wear skinny jeans to grad."

The blonde pulled the dress from the closet and held it in front of her. Ruby was probably right about it being hot in the robe. At rehearsal last night it had been sweltering and that was without the robe and mortar board. "I think you are right. I'll wear this."

Emma smiled at herself in the mirror. It hadn't been an easy road since that January day when Dr. Hopper had come knocking on her door. But she knew how incredibly lucky she was to even be here, let along talking about graduation.

After getting the nurse to her side, they had called an ambulance. Emma was barely coherent by the time it arrived. She was severely dehydrated and undernourished. She spent three days and nights in the hospital. She wondered how she had managed to remain free of the psych ward but somehow she never found herself there.

When she came back to the dorm, she had fully expected to find her things boxed and sitting on the curb. But that wasn't it at all. Her sheets had been laundered and replaced on her bed. Everything in her room seemed cleaner, brighter, better. There was a note on her dresser to come see Dr. Hopper as soon as she was settled.

 _"Hey. I got your note. I… uh… you know… I wanted to say thanks for…" Emma's voice trailed off._

 _"No thanks needed, Emma. You were sick and I helped you get the medical attention you needed. That's all. Anyone would have done the same. In fact, your friend Ruby did do the same. She's the one who alerted me to your… condition." The man gestured for Emma to sit on the small sofa in his office._

 _"Yeah. I talked to Ruby. She came to see me in the hospital and she said she was sorry if I was mad but she wasn't sorry for telling on me. She… she seems like maybe she really cares." Emma shrugged and took a seat._

 _"She does care. You'd be surprised if you knew all the people who do. So surprised." Dr. Hopper's eyes seemed to look somewhere Emma couldn't see for a moment before he offered her a sudden smile and sat on the chair by the sofa. "So… I have a few things to tell you."_

The good doctor had told her then that, because she had a medical reason for missing class, the board had made an exception and decided to allow her to remain in school without penalty. Her scholarship was intact. Her work could be made up. She would still graduate on time if she worked hard.

There were, of course, a few stipulations. She had to agree to meeting with Dr. Hopper a minimum of three days a week until he was satisfied with her progress. She would also be required to meet one night a week on a rotation with each of her teachers in order to catch of what she had missed. She was sort of surprised by the care of her teachers. They had always been nice but she knew that meeting with her was keeping them on campus and away from their lives. It seemed odd that they'd sacrifice for her.

The final stipulation was that she quit her library job to focus on her studies and keep her grade point average at a minimum 3.25. That was easy enough. She was already at a 3.5 when she fell behind. She was sad about the job though. She had come to love working in the quiet with Miss French. And she had also loved having her own money.

But, even that seemed to fall into place for her somehow. It turned out that her scholarship was slightly more than was needed for tuition, books and housing. It had been an oversight in the accounting office and she received a lump sum in her account that was enough to keep her well supplied in snacks, late night coffee runs and the occasional new pair of Chucks.

Now, the morning of graduation, Emma felt extremely lucky. She had a friend she could count on who had invited her to stay the summer with her and her grandmother. She had a letter in her purse from Tufts University announcing her acceptance as well as a full ride scholarship for her time there, contingent upon her continued academic success each semester.

(That had been quite a surprising award. She had worked hard all year and made good grades but she had never suspected she'd get such a wonderful scholarship. Dr. Hopper had rejoiced with her and told her she should be proud of her accomplishments. She deserved good things.)

All her belongings were boxed and ready to send to Ruby's with a few exceptions. The two girls were going to an island for two weeks as a graduation gift from Granny. Saint something or other. Emma wasn't sure. Things were looking up.

It had been a long road. And she knew she still wasn't exactly where she needed to be, but she was making progress. Dr. Hopper had agreed to keep seeing Emma if she was willing to drive halfway to meet him each week. She told him she couldn't pay him for that, but he had merely waved her off. There are some things, he had said, more important than money.

For the first time, maybe in her life, Emma was feeling like wholeness… healing… were a possibility. She had a bright future ahead of her and she wasn't afraid to face it. Not like she had once been. She could do this. She would do this.

"Alrighty then. I am going to go get myself ready and I will be back in a few. I need you to help me pin that ridiculous hat on." Ruby smiled dashing to the door.

Emma only nodded after her. The blonde's make-up was light and perfect. Her golden curls, she knew, were too big but once she had the cap on and had sat in the summer heat for an hour, she would look just right. A twinge of sadness hit her, knowing that no one would be in the audience to cheer for her when she got her diploma. But that wasn't exactly true. Dr. Hopper would be there. And Miss French. And Granny.

Ruby's grandmother had taken a shine to Emma when she had gone home with the girl over spring break. She liked Emma's influence on her granddaughter. She liked Emma. She would probably yell just as loud for her as for Ruby.

Emma slipped the sundress over her head and contorted her body to pull up the zipper. It was a tad big since she hadn't been able to gain all her weight back yet, but it still looked great on her. She smoothed her hands down the front and for a moment almost panicked remembering the day she'd bought it.

 _No. You can do this without panicking._

Taking a deep breath, Emma let the thoughts of Regina come. She had learned to let them in when they wanted and then to stop them when she had to move on to something else. She loved Regina. She would always love Regina. Even if Regina never had loved her.

And she was learning to be okay with that.

On impulse, Emma opened her jewelry case, already in the top of a brown cardboard box waiting to be sealed. She lifted the key necklace reverently from its home and slipped it around her neck. Even if things hadn't turned out like she had hoped… Regina was a part of this day.

"Ready, Em? We have to be there in a few minutes." Ruby was standing in the door with a smile, trying in vain to wedge a bobby pin along the seam of the cap on her head.

"Yeah," Emma said, meaning the words on a level Ruby couldn't understand, "I think I'm finally ready."

~ (SQ) ~

The Uber pulled up to the curb and stopped. Emma eyed the place warily. She wasn't ready.

"Um…" She couldn't even make words.

"Is this not ok? I figured since you mumble about this place in your sleep it was a sure bet." Sterling, her new roommate, tucked a dark purple lock of hair behind her ear. "It took me forever to find it."

Emma looked at the girl and the few other friends crammed into the back of the SUV. It was her twenty-first birthday and they wanted to take her out to celebrate. These were her friends. She still talked to Rubes every couple days since they couldn't see each other as often now, but these were her friends now. Sterling, Maddy, Richie and Cam… these were the people who she spent her life with. And no matter how awkward it might feel, she was gonna celebrate with them… tonight… at O'Malley's.

"No, this is great! I just was shocked to see it. I haven't been here in a long time." Emma flashed her best smile and opened the door. A few beers and a round of pool and she could make new memories in this place to overshadow ones of martinis and brown eyes and a warm hand on her thigh. "Thanks guys. Really. This is awesome."

The five friends entered the pub with a bang. It was rowdy in the bar and, as Emma glanced around, everything pretty much looked the same as it had little more than a year ago when she had slipped in here at nineteen going on twenty with her fake ID. So much had happened since that night. Had it really just been a year?

So far, she was loving her choice to go to school at Tufts. She was forced to live on campus for this year (all freshmen had to), but she was pleasantly surprised to find that her scholarship was more than enough to pay for an apartment next term if she had a roommate. She had already found a nice two bedroom near campus. Now if she could convince Sterling or Richie to spend the money to move with her, she'd be set.

Over the summer, as she had continued to meet with Dr. Hopper, Emma had really grown as a person. It was funny how just talking could make such a difference. But it had. She felt stronger… wiser. Life was laid before her like a buffet. And freshman year was her time to taste a little here and there until she found what she liked.

She'd decided pretty early on that she was definitely gay. Not that she had any doubts before. But just in case, she'd gone on a date with a guy—Randall Harper the third—and it had ended when he tried for a goodnight kiss. Yep. Definitely gay.

She'd discovered that she had an ear for language. She was excelling in her French class and her professor had even suggested she take a semester abroad. Maybe she would but every time she thought of going to France she thought of Mare and her phony life in Paris. But maybe she would go. Maybe.

In the few months since school had started, Emma had really begun to feel at home in her own skin. She liked the feeling. She still thought about Regina. She still missed her. And, as she was wary to admit to anyone other than Dr. Hopper, she was still in love with her. But she felt like she could imagine a time, far in the future, where she could let her go. Not anytime soon though. She was doing better but she wasn't ready for that yet.

She might never be.

But at least she could imagine it. Emma had never been in love before and her first time falling, she had fallen hard. It wasn't something she could—or should—just get over. And that was ok.

A week before the semester began, she had already moved into the dorm and was getting settled. Sterling wasn't coming for another day or two and Ruby was already gone to New York and settled at Columbia. Emma was on her own.

She had sheepishly admitted to Dr. Hopper on what was there last visit for a while that she had rented a car and driven out to the Blanchard estate. She hadn't gone on the property and there was no way she could see the house from the main road, let alone a beautiful brunette… but she had done it anyway. She couldn't help it. She had sat there, across from the tree lined drive and stared into the woods for over an hour before turning and heading back into the city.

Dr. Hopper hadn't been surprised nor had he discouraged her for her trip. In fact, he felt it was probably very telling about her progress that she had been able to just turn around and come home. He hoped that one day she may even be able to forget about the family beyond the iron gate altogether.

Emma had smiled and agreed but she knew she would never do that. She didn't know much about love but she knew when you met the love of your life, you didn't just forget. Regina Mills… _no, Blanchard_ … Regina had moved into Emma's heart, unpacked her belongings and made herself at home.

 _Home._

That's what Regina had said about Emma. She had a home in Regina's heart. Why would she say that and then…

Emma shook herself free of the spiraling thoughts. She had been down this road so many times with Dr. Hopper. Why would Regina lie to her and say so many things in private if she didn't mean them? It didn't make sense. But it didn't matter. It was in the past.

And this was Emma's twenty-first birthday.

She should be getting _shit-faced_ , as Sterling so eloquently said, not worrying about someone she would never see or a life she would never have or answers that would never come. Richie was racking the balls one more time and it was Emma's turn to break.

"Hey, looks like we are running low on spirited libations," Cam grinned and made a flourish with her hand over the tray of empty shot glasses and bottles. "I think this round is on me."

Emma stopped the red-head with a hand on her arm. "Actually, if you don't mind, I need to go to the little girl's room and I thought I might get some air. I'll grab some drinks on my way back and you can just… owe me one. Take my turn at the table?"

Cam frowned for all of three seconds and then took Emma's cue. "Alright, babe, but don't get lost. I plan on drinking enough for you and me both tonight."

Emma smiled at the girl and stepped away. Cam was just a friend but Emma got the distinct impression she wanted to be more but wasn't ready to make the move yet. She hoped it wouldn't be tonight. She wasn't ready for that talk yet.

Sterling was fun and cute and as straight as an arrow. Emma was glad of that. Maddy was straight but curious. Richie was… well, he was just a nerdy guy happy to be included in this all girls club. He was harmless. But Cam… Emma knew she would have to talk to her eventually.

After the line for the bathroom was longer than she had expected, Emma skipped the fresh air part of her trip and wrestled her way up to the crowded bar. She tried to wave over the bartender for a few minutes without much luck. Finally… mercifully… he saw her.

"What can I get you?" The tall, thin man yelled over the noise.

"Just five beers." Emma paused. "Unless you have any of those apple thingies."

"Appletini?" The man clarified.

"No. The hard cider thing." Emma blushed. She couldn't recall the name but she'd wanted to try one as soon as she was legal.

"Oh," the bartender—Kevin, she heard someone say—said with a smile. "Sure. Five hard apple ciders coming up."

The blonde stood a moment and looked around her. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. But there was something… a niggling feeling at the base of her brain. She couldn't figure out what it was. That feeling like a whisper against her skin, like a ghost drifting across her path.

She shook her head and waited for her drinks. She was being silly. A loud burst of laughter across the bar caught her attention. A very drunk, very happy older man was slapping a friend on the shoulder in appreciation of what must surely have been a filthy joke from the looks on the two ladies faces with them.

Her focus shifted then and she saw her. Sitting at the bar, martini ( _dry, two olives_ ) in hand, warm chocolate eyes gazing into her very soul…

 _Regina?_

"Here we are… five ciders. I put it on Richie's tab. He said you aren't paying tonight." Kevin stepped in her line of vision, cutting the cord tying her to the phantom of her dreams.

"Uh… ok. Thanks, Kevin." Emma took the drinks and nearly ran back to the billiards area. Her heart was racing, her hands shaking. Had she really seen her just sitting there?

Emma took a long draw of the cool, sweet liquid into her mouth and tried to calm down. Regina was in this bar… tonight. She was sitting there, not fifty feet away. She looked so beautiful. Emma cursed herself for noticing that… for admitting it even in her own mind. But she did. She looked beautiful.

A part of Emma wanted to be angry. A part of her wanted to be hurt. Still another part was scratching its way to the surface though and winning. She was curious. She wanted answers. She deserved them.

Green eyes tried to look casually back to the place where Regina had been sitting. She wasn't there. Emma felt conflicting emotions of relief and disappointment. She wasn't there. She glanced quickly around the room. Her heart leapt in her chest.

There she was. No longer at the bar, now in a booth and watching Emma intently. Even when the blonde's gaze settled on her, caught her staring, she didn't flinch. She didn't look away. Instead, she offered a small, sad smile.

"Oh, _hell_ no." Emma said aloud to no one in particular. "You don't get to smile at me."

Before she could even register what she was doing, Emma began to make the trek across the bar, pushing past people, ignoring everything and everyone but the woman set in her sights. She wasn't sure what she was about to say, but she knew she wasn't going to let this chance slip through her fingers.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Emma spit out the words, leaning into the other woman's space, each hand firmly planted on the table top.

She watched a host of emotions—fear, sadness, pain—pass across the perfect face before her and for a moment, she almost lost her bravado fueled by her anger. But she couldn't let it slip. She couldn't let her see how much she still loved her… how much she wanted to forget everything that had happened… how much she wanted to take her in her arms and make the world go away.

"Well? I asked you a question. What the hell are you smiling at? What about the last year makes you think its ok for you to smile at all, let alone _at me?_ " Emma slammed her hands down loudly causing Regina to startle and jump.

She wanted the dark woman to get mad, to fight back. But one look into those black eyes and Emma knew she wasn't going to rile her.

"Emma… please, if you want to yell and spit and be angry, you should. I deserve anything you wish to say or do. But at least sit down before they throw you out of here and you don't get your chance." Regina gestured toward the empty seat in front of her.

Confused by the brunette's calm manner, Emma sat down and stared for a long moment. She didn't know how she imagine things going when she saw Regina again… but this wasn't it.

"What are you doing here?" Emma said after a beat.

"Having a drink. What about you?" Regina sipped her martini and kept her eyes down on the table.

Again Emma was unsure what to say. She wanted to be mad. She wanted to yell. She wanted to be mature and walk away. So many different ways she wanted this to play out. But she didn't know how to make any of them happen. So she answered the question.

"I… um… I'm celebrating. It's my birthday." She frowned at her own voice. This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all.

Regina looked up with another sad smile. "Indeed it is. And who are you celebrating with?" The woman tilted her head and smiled at the quartet who had stopped shooting pool and were watching them intently.

"Oh, those are… you know, my friends. My roommate is the one with purple hair. She's great." Emma cursed herself as she felt the corners of her lips curve into a smile. How was it possible for Regina to bring this out in her so easily?

"I'm glad." Regina's eyes found Emma's and for a moment they only stared at each other. Emma tried to place the emotion she saw in the other woman but it evaded her. "So… are you in school or…"

Emma cleared her throat. Apparently they were doing this. "Yeah. I'm at Tufts. Full scholarship and everything."

"Wonderful. I'm happy for you, Emma." There it was again. That look Emma couldn't name.

"Thanks." She barely breathed the word out. No. She wasn't going to just act like old friends catching up. She tried to force as much edge into her voice as she could. "So… what about you? Does your husband know you are out drinking and talking to strange women in the city tonight?"

The look passed over her again. "That's fair. I deserve that. No. He doesn't know I'm here. He and Audrey are in Concord tonight visiting with Mary Margaret and David. Leo is going to offer the boy a position in his company in exchange for his moving with the princess back to the house. It's getting quite crowded there. But Leo won't likely take no for an answer. He seldom does." The last bit was little more than a whisper.

Emma's interest though was piqued by the mention of Mare. "Concord? Is that where all rich and pregnant out of wedlock girls go to die?"

Regina barked out a laugh. "It would seem so, wouldn't it? After her time abroad, she and David eloped and moved to a lovely place there. Leo thought it was a good compromise to killing David and hiding Mary Margaret in the attic."

Emma couldn't help but smile at the mischief in Regina's eyes. It was too easy to slip into this banter and it scared her. "So, what did she have?"

Regina reached into her purse. "A boy. David Nolan Jr. Leo hates the name. But he seems absolutely obsessed with the child already. Davy. That's what they call him. He's adorable. Here." She held out her phone and on the screen was a screaming, wrinkled, red baby. "I have never seen him in person. She won't… she won't come to the house if I am there. But Amber snapped this picture and sent it to me."

Emma couldn't help but smile at the photograph. She was glad the baby was healthy but she secretly hoped he cried often… especially in the middle of the night. It was petty. But she still hoped it.

"Cute kid. So they are moving back to your house?" Emma handed the phone back.

"Well, that is Leo's plan. He wanted them close. God help the little tyke. He doesn't stand a chance." Regina smiled at the screen before slipping the device back into her purse.

They were silent a moment and Emma thought about something Regina said. "So he's with Audrey? Does that mean Mare knows about her now?"

Regina nodded and sipped her drink. "Yes. She knows. Audrey lives at the main house now."

Emma's mouth fell open. "What?!"

"I told you it was getting crowded there." Regina pulled an olive from the pick and chewed it slowly. "Leo and I are getting a divorce. He sees no need to pretend any longer."

"Divorce?" The word tasted funny on Emma's tongue. It matched the bile rising in her throat. "Well then, that will be nice for you. You're gonna be set for life when you get your hands on his money. He must really be pissed at you to part with all that after all these years."

Regina looked at the bartender and tapped her glass, requesting another. "It seems that way, doesn't it." It wasn't really a question so Emma didn't try to answer it.

Emma stood then, wearied by their talk. "Well, I wish I could say it was good seeing you, Regina but—"

"It's ok. You don't have to play nice. I certainly haven't played nice with you." Regina looked up at her and the look, that nameless thing was plain on her face now.

 _Grief._

Confused by what she saw, Emma turned to go.

"For what it's worth… I _am_ sorry, Emma. For everything that happened." Her voice was so small against the background of drunken revelry that it barely made its way to Emma's ears.

The blonde just shook her head. "Goodbye, Regina."

Another sad smile appeared, "Goodbye, Emma."

Emma stalked slowly away, stopped by a couple kissing a bit too passionately for public view. Then she heard her name from behind her.

"Yeah?" She turned back to the woman who even now owned every beat of her heart.

"Are you…" she paused and Emma was sure she saw tears glittering in her dark eyes. "Are you happy?"

 _Happy?_

Anger welled up anew. How dare she ask that? How fucking dare she? No she wasn't happy. She had only just begun to allow herself to believe such a thing could exist again for her somewhere in the distant future. How fucking dare she?!

"Oh, yeah. I'm happier than I've been in a long time." The blonde tried to keep her voice even. It wasn't a lie. She was happier today than she had been since that night when everything crashed down around her. "I'm happy."

Regina nodded and smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

Emma nodded in return and turned. She pressed her way through the crowd and to her friends.

"Hey guys, let's get out of here. I don't feel much like shooting pool anymore. Let's see what else is going on in this town."

"Oh yeah! Let's get in some trouble." Cam slipped an arm around Emma's waist, and god help her, she leaned into it and hoped against hope that Regina was watching.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Ok. So I may have prematurely said there would be only one more chapter. This grew larger than I usually write and I was nowhere near finished. So there will be one to two more chapters in this story before it is all said and done. I hope you like it.**_

 _ **I know many of you want to know right now what the hell is going on with Regina and I promise you will learn that soon enough. In fact, the next chapter is almost entirely from Regina's POV. But the following stuff was essential to setting up the climax of the story. I know it will ask more questions than it answers but I know in the end it will be worth is.**_

 _ **Thank you so much for your kind words and comments. I have mentioned before that I am on social media so please follow me there. I love to chat about SwanQueen, fanfiction and life. Twitter: LP_EQ_RM Tumblr: madamemayorrm**_

* * *

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered the line and only then did Emma realize it was the middle of the night.

"Oh shit! Rubes, I'm sorry. I just realized what time it is. I'll call back when you're awake."

"Well, I'm awake now. Let's not waste it. What's wrong?" Ruby sounded mildly irritated but also concerned.

Emma took a deep breath. Why had she even called? She didn't want to talk about this. "Um… nothing is _wrong_ exactly. I just… um…"

"Spit it out, Em. I was having a sex dream so I need to know I woke up before climax for a good reason." The girl laughed a little but there was enough truth in her tone to let Emma know— _4 AM, shit_ —wasn't the time for stalling.

"I saw her tonight." Emma paused. "Regina. She was in the bar they took me to for my birthday."

"Well, fuck me." Ruby was wide awake now. "What happened? Did you talk to her? Are you ok?"

"Nothing happened really. She was just there. I got pissed because she smiled at me. _Smiled!_ Damn her. But when I stormed over there she did that thing she does where she makes me forget everything. I tried to be mad and distant but… I swear, I'm the wronged one in this story—the victim—and I felt sorry for _her._ Can you believe that shit?" Emma wasn't even taking a breath as she rambled on. "I sat there and had a conversation with her and I didn't even ask her _why_ she did this to me. I didn't even tell her to go to hell like I imagined I would if I ever saw her. I just talked to her. I mean, sure, I tried to get some jabs in there but then I just… couldn't be cruel. No matter what she's capable of, I couldn't be cruel."

Ruby tried to process everything she was hearing. "So… you said you felt sorry for her? What's that about? She dumped you, Em. In the worst possible way. Ripped you to shreds. And _you_ felt sorry for _her_? I don't get it."

There was a long pause and for a minute Ruby wondered if Emma was still on the line. "I can't explain it. There was this look in her eyes. At first I didn't know what it was. But every few minutes while we talked I would see it. I could tell she was trying to put up a front, that mask she is so good at wearing. I've seen her slip it on in front of Mare and that ass she's married to… but talking to her tonight she kept letting it slip."

"And what was this look you were seeing that could make you forget to make a scene and storm off?" Ruby wasn't buying what Emma was selling and it was clear in her voice.

"Grief?" Emma's voice lifted on the end, making the word a question.

"Is that a question? Because I didn't see her face. I dunno what she looked like."

"No, it isn't a question. I'm sure. It was grief. I keep going over it in my mind and she looked… grieved. There's no other way to say it. Like someone who lost the most important thing in the world and are still trying to learn to live without it." Emma wished she knew better how to express herself. "Why would she look like that? She's the one who ended things. She's the one who lied to me. She's the one who used me and threw me away like…"

"Like everyone does?" Ruby finished the train of thought for her friend.

"Yeah… I guess. She has no right to be sad over this. I don't understand." Emma huffed and Ruby could imagine her arms folded across her chest, face in a full pout.

"Em?" Ruby's voice was soft and tentative in a way it hadn't been the whole time they'd been talking.

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something but I need you to promise not to get mad, ok?"

"Um… I don't think I can promise that but I will try. What is it?" Emma's heart was racing. Was Ruby about to give her some tough love and tell her to get over herself? The blonde wasn't sure she could handle that kind of dismissal right now.

"First, let me say I haven't told you this before because… well, you were really upset and I was scared—scared isn't the word for it—that you were going to hurt yourself or something. I mean, you did make yourself sick enough to go to the hospital—"

"Rubes… I know I scared you. And I'm so sorry. But I'm in a better place now. Seeing Dr. Hopper and getting some distance from the situation really has helped. So whatever it is… you can tell me." Emma braced herself for the inevitable line she knew was coming— _I love you, Em, but you've got to let this go._ Or maybe it would be _I want to help you but you need to move on._ Emma held her breath.

"When you were in the hospital… I was scared—"

"You said that."

"Will you let me finish?!" Ruby yelled and then cleared her throat. "Sorry. Will you please just let me get this out?"

"Sorry. Yeah. Go ahead." Emma rubbed her temples and tried to fight back a burgeoning headache.

"As I said, you were in the hospital and I was scared. Really scared. You had always been my friend since you came to school, but seeing you like that made me realize how much of a friend you had become. And that made me angry."

"Angry? Ruby, I don't—"

"Emma, please! Zip it. This is hard enough to get out, ok?"

"Right. Sorry. Zipping my lips. No talking until you say so." Even though Ruby couldn't see her, Emma pantomimed zipping her lips.

"I was scared and then I was angry. I mean, really, _really_ pissed. Like, I could've killed somebody I was so pissed. I was pissed at you for doing that to yourself. I was pissed at Mare for being a brat. I was pissed at myself for not calling Dr. Hopper sooner… but most of all I was pissed at Regina." Ruby paused and Emma, true to her word, said nothing.

"So, I called the number I had for Mary Margaret's house and I asked the lady, Mrs. Bullfrog or whatever, to let me speak to Regina—"

"You did what?!" Emma exploded.

"You said you were going to zip it, Em." Ruby let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, but that was before you just told me you called her. How could you keep this from me all these months? What did you say to her? What did she say to you? I need answers. Jesus, Ruby. I can't believe this." Emma sounded like she was jogging as she spoke. Her breathing was labored and there were sounds of the night in the background.

"Where are you?" Ruby asked.

"I'm out on the sidewalk in front of my dorm. I needed some air. Tell the damn story, Ruby."

"Ok. Ok. Jeez. I didn't tell you about this because you were sick. And then you were struggling. And then you were wallowing. And then you were doing better and I was afraid hearing it would set you back. But since you've seen her now and you say she looked sad… I think you need to know this now, ok?" Ruby paused and Emma gave a grunt for her to go on.

"So, I called her house. She came to the phone and I let into her. I mean, I called her everything I could think of. She didn't say a word. She didn't even ask who it was. She just sat there on the line. Finally I blurted out that you were in the hospital half dead because of her and I hoped whatever kicks she got out of toying with you were worth it." Ruby sounded angry even retelling the tale.

"You didn't. Oh my god. What did she say?" Emma could barely hold the phone in her hand for shaking. She flopped down on a metal bench and leaned forward, with her elbows on her knees.

"She hadn't said one word the whole time I was going off on her. But when I said that about the hospital, she cut me off. She wanted to know why you were there. She demanded to know which hospital it was. I barely had the words out before she slammed the phone down. I figured she had had her fill of me calling her every sorry, low life bitch I could think of. But then…" Ruby paused. This was the part she was dreading to tell.

"But then what?" Emma held her breath.

"Then she showed up at the hospital. She was a wreck. She was in gray silk pajamas and had on an overcoat and boots. She didn't have a stitch of make-up on and… she was in tears. Like, actual tears, Em. She was shaking and demanding to speak to the person in charge. I just barely stopped her from barging into your room. It was pretty late and I'd been sitting there, by your bed all evening just stewing over all of it. You were sleeping and I'll be damned if I was gonna let her upset you." Ruby stopped talking and waited for Emma to respond.

"She… she came to the hospital?" The girl sounded small and confused. "She came… to see me?"

"Yeah. She did. I was still pissed so I made her leave but I saw her talking to a nurse and a doctor at the end of the hall. She was yelling and flailing her arms all over. She made quite a spectacle of herself. And at the time I was even madder that she would show her face there after the way she treated you… but Emma… what if… I dunno… what if she really did care? What if there was a reason she broke things off with you like she did? Because now, looking back and knowing she was sad tonight when you saw her… I don't see her there for any other reason than because she cared." Ruby waited but Emma was silent on the line. "Are you still there, Em? Say something. Yell at me or cry or something. I feel terrible for not telling you this before but… I just didn't know what the right thing to do was and I was so worried that I'd set you off again if you knew. I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be sorry. It's… it's ok. I mean, I wish you had told me but if I'm honest with myself I wouldn't have handled it well. I wouldn't have been able to let that go and I needed to let it go. I'm not mad at you. But it just doesn't make sense, does it? Why would she do that… act like she was freaking out while I was sick… after she just destroyed me?" The blonde threw her head back and peered up into a starry night sky. It would be morning soon and the stars would be just a memory. If only forgetting Regina could be so easy.

"You know what? It doesn't matter, Ruby. I appreciate you telling me now, and I guess it's possible she did care… does care… but it doesn't matter now. I loved her. I still love her. But sometimes love isn't enough. And I can't think of one good reason for her to say the things she said to me that night if she cared about me at all. I'm sorry I woke you up. It wasn't fair for me to do that. But… thanks for talking to me about all this. I wish you were closer because I sure could use a hug right now."

"Oh, Emma. I wish I were closer too. But you are coming down to see me over Thanksgiving break, right? I can't wait to show you New York. You will love it." Ruby felt tears pricking her eyes for her friend but she tried to stay strong for the girl she knew would probably cry herself to sleep tonight.

"Yeah. I'll be there. And I need you to let me do all the touristy shit too. I mean it. Empire State Building, Central Park, hot dogs, pizza, the whole thing. Ok?" Emma smiled into the phone, despite the tears rolling down her face.

"You got a deal. We will do New York like a couple of college girls from Nebraska." Ruby laughed then and hoped it would wrap around Emma's heart. "I love you, Em."

"I love you, too, Rubes."

~ (SQ) ~

"Are you looking forward to the holidays, Emma? Any plans?" Dr. Hopper took a sip of his tea and picked up his notepad. This was their last session until after the first of the year. They had only been meeting once a week for a while now. Emma was feeling better and Dr. Hopper was confident in her progress.

"Eh. Not really. I am staying on campus most of the time. Ruby invited me to come home with her for Christmas though. Granny said she wouldn't take no for an answer. I hate it though. I mean, I know they care about me but I still feel like I am invading their world by coming." Emma leaned back into the sofa. She knew her words would open a can of worms but she was in the habit of being honest with the man who had helped her so much over nearly the last year.

"But weren't you invited? Why do you feel you are invading when you have been asked to come?" His voice was even and calming. He was a good therapist.

"I don't know. I guess, because I have felt so out of place my whole life, like I wasn't wanted in the homes I lived in… I guess I just still struggle to feel like people really want me there." Emma frowned. She had been trying to work on feeling like she belonged but it was slow going.

"I see. And does the fact that you trusted Regina and let yourself believe she wanted you there have any bearing on those feelings as well?" He took another sip of his tea as his words hit their target.

"I mean, yeah. Sure. Of course that is part of it. I thought she wanted me. I thought we were going to be our own little family. I let myself believe and trust and then I got the shit knocked out of me. Pardon my language. On an intellectual level I know Ruby isn't like that. I know her grandmother isn't like that. But I am having a hard time convincing my heart." Emma sighed and began studying the ends of her hair intently. She needed a trim.

"Emma, I think the fact that you are able to come to these conclusions about why you are feeling the way you are feeling is a good sign. I know you still have things to work through, but just the fact that you recognize your behavior and know it isn't what you really believe or want… that show's a great deal of growth. And, with time, I believe you will overcome your fear of rejection and abandonment. It may take time… but I feel certain you can reach that place." The man smiled and laid aside his notepad.

"And it looks like that is all the time we have for today. While we are taking a break for the holiday season, I want you to keep a journal."

"Again? Aww man. You have no idea how much I hate that." Emma grinned and the doctor knew she was teasing him.

"Yes, again. But this time, I want you to right down every time you start to feel that you don't belong or that you are out of place. And then, right down what was happening around you at the time. What outside forces, what thoughts, what conversations… anything that could be influencing you in that moment to feel those unwanted feelings. Perhaps we will uncover some things triggering your feelings and then…"

"Then we can take away their power by talking about them." Emma mimicked her doctor and stood up from the sofa. "I know the drill. Thanks, Dr. Hopper. For everything. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and all that."

"Actually, I'm Jewish… but I appreciate the sentiment. And for the last time, Emma, you may call me Archie." The man stood and walked with the blonde toward the office door.

She was about to step out of his office and she noticed there was no one waiting to see him so she stopped and asked something that had been on her mind ever since her birthday.

"Archie? Did you know Regina came to see me in the hospital? Back at Foxhaven, I mean."

The man tilted his head to the side and frowned. "No. I didn't know that. How come we haven't talked about this before?"

"I guess I just didn't want to talk about it before. I don't really want to know. I just… wondered." Emma toed her Converse against the floor. "It doesn't matter."

Archie looked at his watch and waved her back to the sofa. "You are my last appointment, Emma. Let's talk a few minutes more. This is obviously something on your mind. Come sit."

Emma nodded and made her way back to the sofa. "You gonna charge me for another hour?" She laughed.

"No. This is free. And when a therapist gives you time for free… take it." His blue eyes twinkled and Emma felt herself relax.

"Ruby told me that she called Regina all screaming and cussing and stuff and next thing you know, she showed up at the hospital. That's all I know. But I can't help but wonder why. Like, why would she come there? Rubes said she was in her pajamas and everything. It's like she broke my heart but then wanted to be sure I didn't die? I don't get it." Emma rubbed her suddenly sweaty hands down her legs.

The doctor pulled off his wire rim glasses and cleaned them. Emma knew he did this when he was taking a moment to collect his thoughts. She waited… and suddenly a thought struck her.

"How do you get paid?" She furrowed her brows in thought.

"What?" He looked confused by her change of direction.

"I just realized that since I've been graduated from school… I mean, you had to talk to me back then for free as a student. But now… how do you get paid now? I've never given you any money and I don't have like… you know, real insurance to pay for this sort of thing." Emma forgot for a moment about Ruby and Regina and the hospital.

"Actually, when you graduated school, I consulted with the office about how to be paid for my services if I kept seeing you. I wanted to know if you had insurance to file it on. They said they would let me know. About a week later Miss French brought me an address to send your invoices to. She said it was your medical account and that it was approved. I assumed you knew." He scratched at the red curly hair above his ear.

"No. I didn't. And I don't know of any medical account. That's weird. So you… like, send the bill someplace and then you get a check?" Emma was intrigued.

"Yes. Exactly that. Here, let me look in your file." The doctor moved behind his desk and tapped on the computer keyboard. "Here we go. I send the invoices to a PO Box in Boston. It's the… um… give me a second. Yes. It's the ESE Medical Fund. I'm afraid I don't see the checks myself. Valerie does all my billing and accounts receivable. And you say you don't know what this is?"

"No. I don't." Emma stood from her seat. "Maybe I should speak to Miss French? You said she gave you the address?"

"Yes, it was her. I'd suggest talking to her after the holiday." He moved back to his seat by the sofa. "Now, where were we? Oh yes. Regina came to the hospital—"

"Um… I just remembered I have to meet someone in like five minutes. I'm sorry. We can talk about this when I get back. Bye, Dr. Hopper." Emma leapt up and dashed to the door. She wasn't sure why she needed to know so badly, but she wasn't waiting until after Christmas to talk to Miss French. She was going now.

"It's Archie," the good doctor said to Emma's back as she disappeared out the door.

~ (SQ) ~

"I'm sorry I can't be more help, Emma." Belle French offered a sympathetic look as she turned back to shelving books. She was ready to get her Christmas break started nearly as much as the students at Foxhaven.

Emma sighed and shook her head. "No worries. I'm not sure why it is suddenly so important for me to find this out. It never even occurred to me before today." The blonde reached out and shelved a few books alongside the librarian.

During her time working with Miss French, Emma had learned more than she ever needed to know about library science. But she had also rediscovered her love of books and reading. She had made a friend in the librarian so she knew she could trust the woman to be telling her the truth about this.

"Miss French?" Emma began.

"Belle. Please, Emma, call me Belle. So few people do most days." The auburn haired beauty was not that much older than Emma and bumped her with her shoulder to show they could drop the formalities.

"Ok then. Belle. You said you were just headed to the cafeteria when someone from the office gave you the address and asked you to give it to Dr. Hopper in the teacher's lounge?" Emma kept working on shelving the books as Belle checked them off her inventory list.

"That's right. I was headed down for lunch and I was running late. I bumped into the headmistress and she and I walked along together for a bit. She was telling me about her son and his latest adventure. I think he is a writer perhaps." She thought for a moment. "Anyway, she got called back to her office and asked me to kindly give Archie a paper. I didn't know until later it was an address. He explained it was for your insurance billing once school was ended."

Emma nodded along, sure now she understood. "So, Mrs. Booth is actually the person I need to speak with I guess."

"It would seem like the next logical step." Belle smiled a winning smile and took the books from Emma's hands. "Now, I appreciate your help so much, Emma. But if you hurry, you may still catch Mrs. Booth before she leaves. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Belle. I promise, I'll stop by again after the New Year and visit." Emma headed toward the door, already thinking of what the headmistress may be able to tell her.

"I'd like that, Emma. Good luck."

~ (SQ) ~

Emma had been sitting outside the office of the headmistress, Sophia Moretti Booth, for nearly twenty minutes. The woman was just past sixty years old and she was still a handsome woman. Her naturally black hair and dark skin revealed her Italian heritage but it was her ranting in her parents' native tongue when she was upset that usually gave her away.

She had been ranting like that on the other side of the door since Emma had taken her seat. The blonde absently wondered if it was because of her but she soon got her answer when a petite girl Emma vaguely recognized from her time as a student there was ushered out of the office and told she would be called back after the holiday for a more civilized conversation about her behavior.

Emma gulped. She had never been a fan of going to the principal's office, but even now as an adult she felt intimidated.

"Miss Swan? Please come in. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." There was Mrs. Booth, a smile on her face and no hint of her yelling and stomping about only moments ago besides the flush of pink on her cheeks. Emma couldn't help but think it made her look pretty.

Taking a seat in front of the desk, the blonde waited until Mrs. Booth shut the door and took her own place before she began. "Thank you for seeing me. I know you are probably trying to get out of here."

The woman shook her head, dismissing Emma's fears. "This school is my life for the most part. I assure you, you are not keeping me here. Now, what is it you need?"

Emma took a deep breath. She suddenly felt foolish. "Well… you see, I've been seeing Dr. Hopper—"

"Oh? Is that going well?" The woman interrupted, clearly interested in her employees work outside the school.

"Um, yeah. Yes. It has been very helpful." Emma smiled.

"Excellent. So is this about Dr. Hopper?"

"No… no ma'am. You see, I never really considered before how he was getting paid for his services but today I asked and, well, long story short, he got an address from you for billing when I left school. And frankly, ma'am, I have no idea how he's being paid. I have no insurance. So I…" Emma faded out and held up her hands in a gesture that encouraged the older woman to follow her train of thought.

"So you are curious and want me to explain where the money is coming from?" Mrs. Booth queried. "Is that right?"

Emma nodded, relieved the woman understood her predicament. "Yes, exactly. Can you help me?"

For a moment, the brunette merely looked at Emma, her dark eyes studying her. Then she leaned back in her large, leather desk chair and steepled her fingers in front of her mouth, lightly tapping her lips with the index fingers. Emma wasn't sure what to make of it, but she waited.

"Miss Swan," the woman finally began, dropping her hands onto the desk and tilting her head to the left. "Have you ever heard the expression 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth'?"

Emma frowned. This was not what she had expected to come from across the desk. "Um, yeah. I guess so."

"And, do you know anything of its origin or meaning?" Mrs. Booth raised both her eyebrows high in question.

"No ma'am, I don't." Emma suddenly felt like a child being chastised for her poor behavior.

The dark woman only nodded before taking a deep breath. "I thought as much. I never really understood the meaning myself, although I had used the expression often enough and certainly heard it used." The woman stood and carried several files to the filing cabinet as she spoke. "I've never cared much for animals. However my son, Auggie, he has always been an animal lover. Recently a… friend of his who works with horses, well, he offered me some wisdom about the adage."

Emma couldn't help the confused look on her face as Mrs. Booth sat again, picking invisible lint from her suit. "You see, Miss Swan, a horse's age can be told by the length and condition of their teeth. It's fascinating really. Their bodies may suggest they are young, strong, virile. But the teeth… well now, the teeth can reveal the truth about them easily.

The expression then came about in a time when horses were more than a hobby or amusement for people. Horses were invaluable in everyday life. You needed them for transportation and work on farms and what have you. If a person gifted you a horse, it was wise to merely accept the gift for what it was and not examine the teeth. You may find the beast older than you had first thought and therefore the gift would seem less to you somehow.

So when a person says 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' they are actually advising you to accept a gift and not refuse it because you have considered too long or deeply on the gift itself. Do you understand?" The woman's eyes seemed to bore into Emma's brain like dark brown x-ray machines, looking for something inside her skull.

"Actually, I appreciate the lesson on the saying… but I am not sure I know _why_ you are explaining it to me." Emma shrugged. Was she missing something here?

"Alright then. Let me be a little more direct. Miss Swan, you don't need to know anything about the money that has paid for your hospital stay and your continued treatment with Dr. Hopper. Don't look this particular gift horse in the mouth. Just accept the blessing and move on."

Rather abruptly, the woman stood and walked to the office door, pulling it open. "Now, if you will excuse me, Emma. I do have quite a bit left to do before I can go home to be with my own family for the holidays. Good day."

Emma opened her mouth with more questions (had she said the account paid her hospital bill too?), with protests about being dismissed without the answers she came seeking but Mrs. Booth was clearly done with this conversation. "I said… good day, Miss Swan."

Emma could only roll her eyes and exit the room. "Yeah. Thanks… for nothing."

~ (SQ) ~

Her vacation was nice. The time she spent with Ruby was nice. Her midterm grades came back and she was doing well. Everything was nice.

But all Emma could think about was the ESE Medical Fund and the source of the money. If she was meant to be paying the money back… or some premiums for coverage… she needed to know—like yesterday.

After two tries, Dr. Hopper had finally given her the PO Box number and she had located the box itself in a smaller postal office in Boston. Her first attempt to garner information had not been successful. The postmaster was unwilling and unable to tell her anything about the box's owner or the person who picked up the mail. In fact, the older African American gentleman had threatened to have Emma bodily removed from the post office if she didn't leave.

So, as inconspicuously as she possibly could, she had returned at the first of February a few times to watch the box and see if anyone checked it. This was a fruitless endeavor. There was no way to guess when the box was checked. She didn't let that stop her.

Early in March, she was there again at different times of day, loitering in the hall, watching the box and trying not to be seen by the postmaster. One late afternoon he did see her and chased her out. He was not about to allow her to stalk his customers.

Her persistence paid off early on the first day of April, April Fool's Day as it were. She was pretending to look intently at several books for stamp collectors when a man in his early thirties walked in. He was dressed all in black, leather jacket and a somewhat unnecessary gray scarf for the weather wrapped about his neck. He held his key out and Emma was sure he was about to unlock Post Office Box 1007. But he didn't. He opened it's neighbor, 1008.

She sighed, defeated and ready to give up her monthly vigil. She was never going to find anything out this way. Her many searches online, in the library and the phone book had turned up empty. This link, the mail box, was the only sure lead she had on an obsession that her heart told her was extremely important though her brain couldn't quite figure out why. Turning to leave, Emma glanced back just as the man slipped a second key into Box 1007.

 _Holy shit!_

Emma watched with rapt attention from behind a rack of greeting cards as the man pulled a single envelope from the box and added it to the stack of mail from the other box. One single envelope. If Emma had time to consider it odd, she didn't. She was too busy trying to follow the man to his car.

She wasn't sure what to say or do at this point. She hadn't really expected to see anyone at the box so she was ill prepared to ask questions. Instead, as the man secured the mail in a saddlebag on his shiny black motorcycle and pulled out a helmet, she dashed to her little yellow bug.

The money left on her last scholarship allotment had been more than enough to buy the used and battered Volkswagen. She had always wanted one and the bright yellow color made her smile. She turned the key and the engine roared to life in concert with the rumble of the motorcycle.

Soon, the bike pulled into traffic and Emma followed. Maybe he was going to an office and she would just walk in and talk to a receptionist. Maybe.

~ (SQ) ~

After driving out of the city for nearly an hour, Emma had decided she was either insane or committed. Probably both. She kept a respectable distance from the man on the motorcycle and he seemed none the wiser about her trailing along behind him in her yellow, noisy, bug.

He slowed considerably as they came to a property circled by a white fence. It enclosed a large green pasture, dotted with horses. At a break in the fence line, the bike turned right and headed up a long driveway to a lovely old farmhouse.

It was sprawling and clearly from a different era. The outside was in the process of being restored and Emma could only imagine what the interior must look like. But the home was just that—a home. And it felt warm and inviting even from this distance. Several other buildings dotted the landscape beyond it and a stately oak tree stood in the front yard with a tire swing. This was a happy place, she could tell from just one look.

It didn't make any sense.

Emma slowed and saw a small shingle by the driveway and it offered no more answers than the strange man, the long trip to the country or the white fence and house.

 _Honey Crisp Farm. Horse breeding and boarding. Riding lessons available. Original equine art by appointment only._

Emma frowned. This was getting stranger by the minute. She quickly snapped a photo of the sign so she'd have the phone number and drove on. She really had no purpose as she drove. She just kept going away from the city as she went over in her mind the odd occurrence.

Why was a horse breeder picking up mail that likely included a bill for her therapy? Who was the man? Why hadn't she just spoken up and asked in the post office? What did it all mean and why did she seem hell bent on unraveling the mystery?

Emma lost track of time and her surroundings as she drove, rehearsing everything she knew, every conversation she had had in the past few months about this. It was a welcome distraction from thinking about Regina.

She glanced at the screen of her phone and realized it was nearing lunchtime. Her body was demanding food and a bathroom break so she pulled to the curb as she entered a little town along the road she'd been driving. It felt oddly familiar.

Emma looked around and was shocked to find she was parked directly in front of the Velvet Underground—the same store she and Mare had visited on that fateful Thanksgiving weekend. She looked across the street and there was the bistro where they'd had lunch. Somehow, she was back in the town she had sworn to never return to.

The blonde leaned forward and banged her head on the steering wheel a few times. Was this really her life now? Her tummy grumbled in response and she decided rather quickly that, bad memories or not, she was going in the café, having some lunch, using the bathroom and getting back to Boston.

Climbing out of the car, Emma jogged across the busy street, dodging oncoming traffic. She thought absent mindedly that for a small town, there sure were a lot of cars out and she felt a little like Frogger. She laughed but was pulled out of her thoughts as a car honked at her.

"Sorry. I'm going. Sorry." She held up her hand and scurried out of the driver's path and onto the sidewalk. She bumped into a lady and caused her to stumble, but reached a steadying hand as she continued her stream of apologies. "Sorry. This is not my day. You ok?"

The woman looked at her and Emma immediately regretted getting out of the car. "Emma? Wow! I can't believe this."

It was Mary Margaret Blanchard Nolan pushing her little son in his stroller down the street.

"Hi." Emma said, turning quickly toward her car again. "I was just leaving."

"Emma, wait!" Mare grabbed her arm and stopped her escape. "Please. I didn't think I'd ever see you again, but now that I have… well… I'd really like to talk. I… I owe you an apology."

Emma stared, dumbstruck. "An apology? Yeah. I'd say you do."

The brunette adjusted the stroller to let a family go by and gave a small smile to her one time friend. "As I said… I owe you an apology. And I'd like to give you one. Would you…" She hesitated. "Would you like to have lunch with us? I'd like to introduce you to my son."

Maybe it was the overall weirdness of the day. Maybe it was the assertion from her stomach that it be fed. Maybe she was a glutton for punishment. Whatever it was, Emma found herself agreeing. An apology would bring her some closure and it was certainly more than she'd get from Regina.

When they had ordered and Emma had played with little Davy until he was asleep in his seat, an awkward silence fell between them.

"So, how old is he now?" Emma tried to break the tension.

"He's eleven months. I've been busy planning his first birthday party for next month. I had no idea it would be so… labor intensive." The girl smiled, her eyes twinkling as she spoke about her son.

Emma couldn't help but notice a difference in Mare. She seemed much less self-concerned than she'd ever seen her. "Motherhood has been good for you." The words were out before she could stop them.

Mare beamed. "Really? You think so?"

"Yeah." Emma nodded as the waiter sat down her club sandwich and fries. Mare thanked him for her chicken Caesar salad. "I do."

The brunette seemed to think for a long time before she spoke her next words. "Maybe being a mother has changed me in ways I didn't expect."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

Mare poked at her salad, finally laying her fork aside. "I mean… I was awful before he was born. So selfish and oblivious. And cruel to people who—" She looked down at the sleeping boy. "Well, I was cruel to people who only wanted to be my friend. I didn't give you a chance to explain. I didn't even try to understand what Regina was going through. And now… well, now… since Davy has been born…"

Emma waited for her to go on, laying her sandwich down. She suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore.

"My daddy is absolutely obsessed with my son." The words seemed to erupt from somewhere deep inside the other girl. "He manipulated David into working for him. I thought it was so things would be better for us… for Davy… but I realize now he just wanted to control his male Blanchard heir. I think he'd change his name to Blanchard if he could."

Emma heard Regina's voice in her mind. _"David Nolan Jr. Leo hates the name."_ She had assumed it was the David or Junior parts he was opposed to but perhaps it was Nolan. Mare was talking again.

"We were happy in Concord. We weren't rich by any means, but we were happy… just the three of us. But my father convinced David he wasn't providing for us so he'd come work for him. Wasn't long before we moved back into the house. By then he had Audrey living under the same roof as Regina and us. I insisted he put a stop to that. I had no idea it would be Regina who left." Fidgeting with her napkin, Mare offered up a sheepish smile. "But I guess you already know all this."

"Well, yeah… some. Regina mentioned that Audrey was living there at the main house. And that your dad wanted David to work for him." She had told her that night in the bar.

Mare nodded and seemed lost in thought. "Once Regina was gone, I noticed almost immediately a change in my father's behavior. Without her there to… take the _brunt_ of his anger, it was directed at others. Mostly David and me. He can be so cruel and demanding. And he treats Davy as if he is his son and not mine. I don't know how I didn't see it before."

Emma couldn't help but scoff at that. How indeed.

"I know. I should be ashamed of how I behaved and I guess I am. I just never saw him clearly. I worshipped my father and lived in the memory of my mother. It made it almost impossible for me to realize that Regina was miserable there. I always thought it was daddy who was miserable… until I got a dose of what her life must've been like. Paraded around like a show piece, talked about like I wasn't there. It was overnight, as if my son eclipsed me somehow and I became the trophy and he the prince."

Emma couldn't help but notice that the longer Mare talked, the more self-centered her complaints became. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as she thought. But it was good that she felt sorry, even if it was far too little too late. Emma couldn't bring herself to rejoice at the girl's reality check, it was obviously painful for her, but a part of her was glad she was no longer having things go her way.

"I want to apologize to you. And I'd like to apologize to Regina in person sometime. Do you think she'd be willing to talk to me? I kept Davy away from her for so long and I want her to meet him. She really was good to me all these years despite my behavior. I'm so ashamed of how I've acted. Do you think she'd meet me?" Mare's eyes were glistening with tears now.

"I honestly don't know, Mare. I mean… how could I answer a question like that?" Emma wondered how Mary Margaret could think she knew Regina well enough to know how she'd react.

"I guess you are right. But it couldn't hurt to ask her, right?" Hope swelled in green eyes.

"Maybe. It couldn't hurt." Emma shrugged and ate another bite of her sandwich. She was ready to get out of here.

"It's just… my mother was so young when daddy married her. And Regina was even younger. Now Audrey is barely older than me. Why did I never realize this before? My father hired a nanny for my son, without my permission, and I honestly feel like he is grooming a replacement for Audrey already. It makes me sick. I can't even respect him anymore." Mare rubbed her temples.

Davy whimpered in his sleep and momentarily distracted the girl. She reached down and smoothed his sandy blonde hair from his forehead. He really was a cute little fellow.

"Sorry to go on and on about all this. I really just wanted to buy you lunch and tell you how sorry I am for all the trouble I caused you. It was selfish and wrong. I… I didn't realize how it was between the two of you. I just couldn't see past how angry I was at Regina." She paused for a moment and Emma was thankful. But her next words caught the blonde off guard. "But I guess when it's all said and done, everyone got what they wanted in the end."

Emma dropped her sandwich with a thud on the plate. "Are you serious right now? How in the hell do you figure everyone got what they wanted?"

"Emma!" Mare was shocked by the anger in the other woman. "I know it was rough but it all—"

"I can't fucking believe you. Jesus, Mary Margaret. She broke my goddamn heart. I was hospitalized over it. How is that getting what I wanted? I love her every minute of the day but I know I can never mean anything to her. She made that clear. Is that what I _wanted?_ Did I _want_ to be crushed by the love of my life? Is that what _she wanted_?" Emma could barely control herself. Her voice was rising and her hands were shaking.

Mare sat in shocked silence. Emma could only glare, waiting for an answer to her outraged questions. "Oh my god. You don't know do you?"

"Know what?" Emma barked.

"Oh, Emma. I had no idea. I thought… I just assumed she… Oh, Emma." Mare reached out a tentative hand and grasped Emma's in her own.

"What? What is it that I don't know?" Emma was shaking now but for a different reason. She was terrified of what the brunette was about to say.

"It seems only fitting that since I am the one who caused you so much pain that I be the one to tell you." The girl was half speaking to herself, half to Emma.

"Tell me what, Mare." Emma was growing impatient.

"The truth, Emma. I'm going to tell you the truth."


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Surprise! An early update. I couldn't wait to share this so I decided to post it sooner than usual.**_

 _ **For this chapter, rather than hear about what happened from Mary Margaret, I decided to jump back in time and tell the story from Regina's perspective. I wanted... needed you to know what happened from her point of view. I will return to Emma and MM in the cafe soon enough but I felt this was important at this point.**_

 _ **Please let me know what you think about this. I really do read and consider everything you say in your reviews even if time hasn't allowed me to respond to them all.**_

 _ **As usual... thank you Jenn for reading and encouraging me along the way. You're the best.**_

* * *

 **Last January…**

They stood on the sidewalk in front of the Marquis. Emma's car had arrived and it was time for them both to face the music. Regina knew her task ahead would be harder than Emma's but she didn't mind. She knew what she wanted and it was time for her to go after it. Mary Margaret could tell Leo whatever she wished but she wasn't going to be bullied anymore. She loved Emma and someway, somehow… they were going to get through this together.

Regina tried to exercise some self-control there on the sidewalk as the driver lifted Emma's duffel into the trunk of the hired car, but she was too emotional, too nervous about what was ahead of them. She pulled the blonde to her and kissed her. For a moment it was as if no one else was there at all. She didn't care what they thought or how inappropriate people would think it was. She just wanted to kiss this girl who had captured her heart and changed her life in so many ways for the better.

"Just remember, I love you. And everything is going to be alright." Regina looked into green eyes and tried to convey her feelings with her words, her eyes, her actions.

Stepping off the curb and into the car, Emma smiled. "I love you too. See you soon."

Regina stood and watched as the car drove away taking the most important person in her life with it. Even after the car had disappeared in a sea of dark sedans, yellow cabs and white delivery vans, Regina stood there, watching the spot where she had last seen Emma.

Shaking herself, Regina steeled her nerves and drew strength from the constant of Emma's love. She was going home and then they would be together again.

 _Soon indeed, my darling._

~ (SQ) ~

Regina pulled her black Mercedes up in front of the house. It was getting late. She had taken her time driving home today. She wanted this all resolved but she wasn't in a hurry for the confrontation.

Emma had texted her to let her know Mary Margaret wasn't at school but she hadn't responded. She wanted the first thing she said to Emma after this was all over to be that she was free…. Finally free. So she had tucked her private cell phone into the inner pocket of her purse and driven on.

The afternoon sun was setting as she pulled her overnight bag from the small trunk of her car. She had parked the car in the garage herself, having gotten used to being all but ignored by Frank for years now. Anyone else, he would have heard them coming up the drive and run out to help. But not her, never her.

 _That won't matter much longer._

When she entered the house, it was quiet. Eerily quiet. She could hear the tick-tock of the grandfather clock, the low hum of the furnace keeping the place toasty warm and somewhere in the distance she could make out the occasional snort and whinny of her horses. Was no one home?

No. She knew they were. Emma had said in her text that the princess wasn't at school. And Leo had arrived home this morning from his Chicago trip. So, somewhere on the premises the two Blanchard's were lying in wait for her like spiders on the edge of the web, waiting for the vibration to alert them to their prey being trapped.

 _I'm done being trapped._

She carried her bag to the foot of the stairs and was about to climb to her room when a voice called her from her left.

"Mrs. Blanchard, won't you join your family in my office?" It was Leo and he sounded sickeningly sweet. Any doubt she had that her secret had been spilled disappeared. He knew.

She released her bag to the floor with a thud and laid her purse atop it. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders back, she closed her eyes and envisioned Emma's face, her smile, her trusting eyes. For just a moment, she let herself be back in Boston, kissing the girl on the sidewalk in the cold January air. Renewed in her strength and resolve that could only come from loving and being loved in return, she entered the lion's den.

"Well, there you are. We had begun to worry you were not coming back at all." Leo was sitting behind his obnoxiously large desk. Even after all these years, Regina still felt a tremor of fear in this room remembering that first time he had forced a kiss on her here.

She shook herself. No. She couldn't let fear in. She had to be strong.

"I considered it. But I am no coward." Regina was proud of the evenness she managed in her rich voice.

A scoff to her right alerted Regina to Mary Margaret's presence. How she had tried to love the girl and be good to her, even when she was rejected and mocked. Yet, even now, she couldn't bring herself to hate her though she resented the girl and all she represented.

"Only a coward would sneak around—" the girl began.

"Mary Margaret…" Her father interrupted. "You are in no position to judge anyone on cowardice. Not even your… _stepmother._ " The title was spat out with venom and again the fear tried to take root in Regina's heart. "I am sure you know, but my angel has recently informed me that I am going to be a grandfather."

Shock was evident on Regina's face. She hadn't expected to hear that. "A grandfather?" She turned to the pixie-haired girl. "You're… you're pregnant?"

"Oh, cut the bull, Regina. As if Emma hasn't already told you." Mary Margaret folded her arms across her chest in a huff.

Regina could only shake her head. "No. She… she honestly hasn't. If you trusted her with a secret, she kept it." The mention of Emma settled her nerves. She wasn't angry at the blonde for keeping this from her. Indeed it made her love her more. She had honored Mare's wishes even when the girl was about to try to destroy them and their happiness.

"Right." Mare rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"Daughter…" Leo's voice was warning, so the girl nodded sheepishly and sat back in her chair. "Please, Regina dear, have a seat and let's all have a chat about the illustrious Miss Swan."

Regina hesitated. "I think I am fine standing."

Leo half stood from his seat and threateningly spoke through gritted teeth. "I said sit, Regina."

Heart racing, fear pressing past her best defenses, she lowered herself slowly into the chair. Her brain vaguely registered that it was the lowest seat in the room. In fact, it wasn't even an office chair. They had brought in a hard, straight-back chair from the kitchen just for her. The other leather seat that normally occupied the space was pushed to the side.

 _Cheap psychology._ Regina knew he was trying to intimidate her and she wasn't going to give in.

Leo sat back in his chair and considered his young wife for a moment. "After the overwhelming shock of my daughter's news, she informed me that I am being cuckolded. I can't say I was surprised to hear it. Your kind always do fall from grace. But… I admit hearing that you were caught in a… shall we say… compromising position with a high school student—a girl no less—well that certainly was a surprise."

Regina rolled her eyes. "She's closer to my age than Audrey is to yours, _dear._ "

Mary Margaret looked at the woman with disdain. "Yes, but daddy isn't sleeping with her. Regina, how could you do this to—"

Regina's laughter stopped Mare's rant cold. "Oh. So I see my secret and the princess's secret have come to light, but you are still holding yours with an iron fist."

The young brunette looked confused by Regina's words. "What? Daddy has no secrets from me." She looked to her father. "Right, daddy? Tell her."

Leo suddenly looked sick. He cleared his throat. "Angel, please go to your room and leave me to talk with your step-mother. Your part in this ordeal is over."

"But, daddy! I was the one who—"

"Yes, I am aware. You are the eye witness but as you can see, Regina is not making any attempt to deny her indiscretion. So… please go to your room. We will talk later." His voice had an edge that he had never used with his daughter before.

"Ok. I… I…" She backed up toward the door. "I'll talk to you later then, daddy."

"Really, Leo. Sending the poor waif to bed? What are you afraid of?" Regina smirked and felt a confidence she hadn't felt in years within the walls of this house.

Leo held up his hand to silence her until Mary Margaret's retreating steps sounded above them and she was safely out of ear shot. "How dare you threaten to tell my daughter about Audrey? That is just the sort of coarse behavior I should expect from a lying, gold-digging adulteress who preys on _children_."

"Oh, cut the self-righteous crap, Leo. Its bullshit and you know it. Emma is not a child. In fact, she is only two years younger than your little trollop." Regina stood from the chair chosen for her and pulled the proper leather chair back into its place.

"How dare you speak of—"

"You keep asking that. 'How dare I?' I dare because I have found something good and pure and perfect and there is nothing you can do to take it from me. _That_ is how I dare, you old fool." Regina hadn't meant to be so free with her admissions, knowing it was dangerous to give the man an inch, but the freedom she felt in speaking up for herself was intoxicating.

She was surprised by the sound that came from her husband then. It was a dark, maniacal laugh. "Oh, Regina. Have you known me so long and yet you haven't learned that I can do whatever I please? _Good and pure and perfect._ " He mocked her hopeful tone. "You love her, don't you?"

She didn't want to admit it. She knew it was a risk to give him that kind of information. But the brightness in her eyes, the warmth in her smile… she didn't have to say it for him to know it was true.

"You do. Good. That puts me at an advantage, doesn't it?" He leaned forward on his desk and glared at his wife.

"An advantage?" So this was how it was going to be. A war of words.

"Yes. I know what kind of poison love can be to us. It muddles the mind, makes otherwise smart people do stupid things." He grinned and there was so much confidence in the expression it made Regina's stomach lurch. "I will divorce you and you will not get one penny of my money."

Regina smirked. "How do you figure that? I am entitled to half of everything you possess." She didn't really care about the money, but she knew what she was to gain in a divorce.

"Ah, yes… but you have committed adultery. You have broken our sacred wedding vows. I don't think my friends in our great judicial system will make me share my wealth with someone who takes high school girls to bed. You are lucky she is of age or I'd have you arrested." The man began with a dramatic flair and ended with a scowl.

Again, Regina smirked in the face of his threats. "Have you forgotten that _everyone_ knows about Audrey? You keep her in an apartment, Leo. No one will believe you aren't sleeping with her. Or the countless others who have filled your bed. No. Friends or not, I don't think you have a case against me."

Leo remained quiet for a moment as if sizing up his wife for the first time. And perhaps it was the first time he had ever seen her clearly for the strong, intelligent woman she really was. A formidable foe once she was free of the fear and bitterness.

"You talk a good game, Regina. But I will destroy that girl. One phone call and she will be kicked out of Foxhaven… tonight. One call and she will _never_ be accepted to Tufts. She'll be lucky if they let her into some third rate cosmetology school when I get through with her." The man seemed to grow in his seat as he realized the real power he had because of Regina's love for Emma. "I will not be made a fool of by my whore of a wife and her high school sweetheart. And I certainly won't allow the Blanchard fortune to finance it."

Regina felt her blood running hot in her veins. Like hell she would sit here and let him threaten her darling. She had to think fast or she would lose her upper hand. "If you do anything to interfere with Emma, you will be the laughingstock of this community. Imagine what they will say at the club when they hear you have spent the last ten years married to a lesbian who finds you disgusting and won't even share the same bed as you." Regina watched his brown furrow in anger but she didn't care. "Isn't that rich? What will Tom and Robert think? One word the Bunny Middleton and everyone in any circle you have ever tried to run in will know."

Leo huffed. "What do I care what those people think. Bunny is nothing but a gossip and—"

"She may be a gossip, but people won't be able to deny it when I bring Emma to the club on bridge night. It will be obvious to everyone. They will know I have been nothing to you but a trophy… a possession. _Nothing more._ How do you think those rich old bastards will view a pathetic old man who married a girl… little more than a child herself and kept her a prisoner for his own benefit? Haven't you been telling them for a decade that you married me out of love? That you were swept off your feet. My god, it's so well known, your magical second chance at love after losing your other very young bride so suddenly… You will look like the ridiculous, lecherous fool you are."

Regina took a breath as she watched her husband's mind parsing through her words.

"Really, Leo. I see a pattern. First Eva. Then me, quite a bit younger than her. Soon enough, won't it be Audrey? Marrying these young girls and getting younger all the time. Perhaps it is _I_ who should have _you_ arrested? Hmmm?" She offered this in a saccharine tone that oozed across the man's skin. She knew she was poking the bear but she wouldn't allow him to threaten Emma.

The man took a deep breath and blew it out his nose. Despite his rage, he knew Regina was right. He didn't want this getting out.

"What do you want, Regina." He said with resignation in his voice. "You sure as hell aren't taking half my money."

For a moment, the brunette was dumbstruck. She hadn't expected Leo's desire to save face to actually get him to relent. This had to be a miracle. She had to think fast. What did she want? It only took her a moment to realize she knew. She had been fantasizing about a life with Emma since the moment they reconnected on her Thanksgiving break. She tried to remain calm and spoke as if it was all just occurring to her now.

"Alright. First, I want you to leave Emma alone. You _will not_ interfere with her education. She will remain at Foxhaven and then attend Tufts without you getting involved." She waited and the man nodded for her to go on. "I will agree to admit I've had an affair and that you have been the wronged one… the victim in all this. That should spare your precious ego. But in return, I want enough money to buy a horse farm I've had my eye on for some time. And enough money for Emma and I to live on until we can get established. That should be far less than half of your empire."

Her husband laughed right in her face. "You can't be serious. What do I get out of that little scenario? A slightly less bruised ego? No. You will not take my money _and_ the girl and live your happily ever after while I fund it from the sidelines. But… I am willing to negotiate like civilized people."

Regina squared her shoulders back and crossed her long legs. She felt the heady rush of winning and she knew she was about to. She would have been happy to leave with nothing but her freedom and now it looked like she would get some money for her troubles too. "Alright. Make me a counter offer."

Leo thought for a moment before he spoke. "You will indeed admit to an affair—with a _man_ —perhaps that horseman you keep around. He's handsome enough for people to believe it. You will admit to an affair with him but first, you will play the dutiful wife to me. You will appear at public functions, you will dote over me and make it clear to one and all that I am a fine husband to you so that when the affair comes out, I will be looked at with pity and you, reviled."

Regina nodded for him to go on. Nothing so far sounded impossible. "And for how long shall I be expected to play Stepford wife?"

"Until the scandal of Mary Margaret's pregnancy dies down. I have already been making plans to send her to Paris in a few weeks. I am not sure if I will consent to a marriage to that young buffoon who has soiled her, but either way. Once the initial gossip has died down over all that unfortunate mess, you will be allowed to share with Bunny or Gloria… hell, I don't care which of those clucking hens you confide in, but you will admit to having an affair with the help. And then, I will divorce you. I will leave that blonde wench alone. And you can have your farm and pittance and be on your merry way."

Regina could feel the "but" hanging in the air before it came. It was all too perfect. There had to be some stipulations. "So what's the catch?"

"The catch, my sweet wife, is that you will cut ties with Emma Swan immediately."

"Like hell I will! You can't force me to cut ties with her. If that is your idea of negotiating… you are insane." Regina was on her feet in a second. "I will just go upstairs and tell the brat about your affairs, about Audrey and call my mother. I am sure Albert Spencer would love a chance to humiliate you in open court. The farm and the money wouldn't have been even noticed missing from your stockpile. I'll have half of everything you own, you bastard."

Leo stood suddenly and was around the desk before Regina could reach the door. He grabbed her roughly and slammed her back against the wall nearest them, making the framed degrees, awards and photos shake. His body pressed into her and his sour breath filled her nostrils. Fear—real, tangible fear—filled her from head to toe as his right hand came up to grip her chin roughly. It would surely leave a bruise.

"You fucking bitch. Do you really think you can stand in my home and threaten me like this? I have been playing along because it amused me, but the time for games is over. Wouldn't you agree?" He pushed against her pelvis with his hips, asserting his strength and power, dominating her in a way that made panic flood through her.

She couldn't speak. She only nodded. Any confidence… any bravado born of winning and loving and being loved faded. Familiar terror took its place. She hadn't seen this man in many years.

"Leo… _please_ … don't…" Regina whimpered has his grip tightened on her face.

"Shut up. You're pathetic." In a menacing whisper, he went on. "You _will_ cut ties with that girl. I'd hate to see something terrible happen to her."

Regina frowned and ice cold water replaced once boiling blood in her veins. She tried to shake her head in disbelief but his hold was too firm. "You… you wouldn't dare—"

"Wouldn't I? What about the last ten years of your life makes you doubt what I am capable of? Pity since you already lost one true love to an accident. What are the odds you'd lose another?" His threat was clear. The reference to Daniel made her heart stop. Was he suggesting he had something to do with that? Surely not. Eva had been alive when Daniel died… but maybe?

Regina fell to pieces then, her body limp in his grasp. She didn't want to believe he would hurt Emma, but she knew he would… knew he could. He had enough money, enough power to make it happen and no one would ever know he did it. But would he? To save face? To save money? Yes. He would.

But still, Regina was unwilling to totally surrender to his will. "Don't you dare harm a hair on her head. I'll—"

Leo's harsh laughter against her face stopped her words. "You'll what? Buy a new sweater? Please Regina. It's obvious you love the girl and love has made you weak." He released her then and she slumped heavily against the wall. He grabbed her under her arm and drug her back to her chair, slamming her down.

"But love will work in my favor. This should be an easy choice for you to make, really." He leaned back against his desk, still too close to her for her comfort. Tears rolled silently down her face. "You will protect those beautiful blonde locks and her very life by doing as you are told. You will cut ties… immediately. Not another text. Not another call. You will stay here with me and do _whatever_ I ask."

Regina turned wide, frightened eyes toward him at that.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Regina. I wouldn't crawl into your bed at this point even to humiliate you. Perhaps if I had known about the Swan girl sooner…" His laughter made her sick. She could taste the acid of her stomach in her mouth. "You _will_ do as I say. Then, when I deem it time, you will have your farm and money and disappear from our lives forever. In exchange for your absolute compliance, I will leave Emma alone. She will finish school if she so chooses and go to college if she can get in on her own merit. I will not interfere. And then… everybody wins."

Tears continue to pour from chocolate eyes. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to just walk away and be free. _Oh Emma. My darling, sweet Emma._ As sure as fear resided in her now… so did love. And his threat to her love sparked rage one last time.

"No."

Leo looked at her in disbelief. "No?"

"No. That isn't how it will be at all." She stood then, pulling herself to her full height, proud head held high. "Maybe I will just kill _you_ now. Here. In this room and free the world of one more parasite."

She was shaking with rage and could fill the bloodlust pulsing to the surface. She had already located a letter opener and paperweight on his desk that would be suitable for snuffing out his disgusting existence. If not them, her bare hands would do. She was certain in this moment she could rip his heart from his body without aid of any weapon.

Leo merely shrugged in the face of her hurricane force threats. "And what good will that do? You'll rot in prison and your precious Emma will die alone." Crossing the room, he grabbed her head in a vice grip between both hands. The pressure was intense and she wondered if her skull would simply collapse. She felt like she was about to black out. "I could kill you though. In your sleep maybe. Or perhaps a riding accident. Horses can be quiet dangerous as they age. Wouldn't that be tragic? Now, do we have a deal?"

"No," she gritted out, ever defiant in the face of his threats.

"Are you really this _stupid_?" He scoffed. "You can go back to your girl with a home and money in hand. I'm just asking for… what? A year. Surely her safety is worth that to you."

Finding a strength she didn't know she possessed, her mind filled with Emma's smile, her laughter, the soft sound of her snoring as she slept, Regina made one last plea. "I want you to pay for her school. If I agree to this, you will leave her alone. You won't threaten her or hurt her. You will let her finish school and if she gets into college, on her own merit, you will pay for it. Anything beyond what scholarships she is awarded… all of it. Four years, five, whatever it takes for her to finish. And… and it will be enough money for books and a car and an apartment if she wants one."

Leo dropped his hands and shook his head no.

"I mean it, Leo. If I do what you want then you have to do this. Even counting the farm, if you pay for her school it won't be a drop in the bucket to you. You won't even miss it. It is far less than I would take in a divorce."

"And what makes you think the trollop will take my money after you break her heart?" Leo resumed his business-like posture and leaned once again on the desk.

Regina looked down at her shaking hands. Was she really considering doing this? Yes. She was. She had to protect Emma no matter what it cost herself. Emma would forgive her. Emma would understand… someday. She looked up at the man she despised. "She can't know. She can never know. I know you have friends on the board. Make it look like a scholarship if you have to. But you will do this. And you will leave her alone. And when the year is up I walk away, free and clear, with the farm and my horses and enough—"

"Enough money to get you started. I get it." He raised his hand to his chin and pulled absentmindedly at his beard. She knew he did this when he was about to commit to a deal. "Alright. I can concede to that. Sounds like a good deal to me. Shall we shake on it? A little gentleman's agreement?"

Resigned to her fate, Regina gave a mirthless laugh. "No. We aren't gentlemen, Leo. Neither of us. I want this in writing. You have your shady lawyer draw it up in a contract and I'll sign it. But I want it spelled out plainly. Everything. Even about you not physically harming her." She sighed and stepped toward the door. "I'll sign it and you'll sign it and then… one year."

~ (SQ) ~

"What have I done?" Regina whispered into the darkness.

She was lying in her bed, still in her clothes from the day. A quick glance at the clock on her nightstand said 3:17 AM. Clutched to her chest was Emma's Foxhaven sweatshirt. She wasn't even sure how it had gotten into her suitcase but now she was glad it had.

Regina had been going over and over her confrontation with her husband in her mind all night. She had just agreed to cutting Emma from her life. The private cell phone the blonde had given her was now powered down and hidden in a pair of her boots in the closet. It had dinged one time too many with a message from Emma, no doubt curious about what was happening.

 _How will she ever understand what I've done?_

When she had agreed to one year of separation, she hadn't thought about whether or not Emma would understand or forgive her or even want her in a year's time. All she could think about was keeping Emma safe… protecting her from the monster down the hall. Providing for her had felt like the right thing to do. If she couldn't be with Emma physically, at least she would know her love wasn't in want.

But now, alone and in the dark, Regina could only silently cry into the sweatshirt. It smelled like the blonde. Her heart was breaking in her chest. What if Emma didn't understand? What if she didn't forgive her?

She would be well within her rights not to. After Regina fled that store in Boston, Emma had felt abandoned—rejected—all those old feelings from her years in foster care coming up again. Regina had hurt her then, but Emma had been able to trust her again, to overcome that. But this time? Would she understand this time?

Despite her fears and her tears, Regina knew it didn't matter. If Emma never forgave her—if they were never reconciled—if they never found a way to be together, it was worth the pain and the sacrifice to know Emma was out of Leo's grasp. She would never know the torment… the prison of the Blanchard household. The blonde would be free to live her life—with or without Regina. It hurt to even imagine it but she knew it was the only way.

Love may have made her weak in Leo's eyes, but she knew in her heart it had made her strong. Strong enough to put aside her own wants and needs in favor of securing a life for Emma. Heartbreak was a small price to pay to be sure the girl was safe.

But knowing this didn't ease Regina's pain and so, on until dawn… she wept into a sweatshirt clutched to her chest and dreamed of a time when everything would be right again.

~ (SQ) ~

Regina was sitting in her favorite chair in her bedroom, wearing Emma's sweatshirt over her own nightwear, nursing her third tumbler of cider. This was her nightly routine now. Take her supper in her room, put on her pajamas and drink herself to sleep. That is, if sleep ever came.

Curiosity had gotten the better of her today, over a week since she had seen or spoken to Emma, and she had pulled the cell phone from its hiding place and powered it on. A barrage of text and voice messages poured forth all at once.

As she listened and read, she noted that with each new message, Emma had become more and more desperate and afraid. She was sure something horrible had happened to Regina. It was clear in her voice. Regina scoffed. And indeed, something horrible had happened to her.

Now, alone in the dark, not yet tipsy and still in full control of her senses, Regina prayed for the release to come. All she wanted was to feel that moment when she teetered on the edge between buzzed and blind drunk. It was then she would stop hearing Emma's voice in her head. It was then she wouldn't see green eyes, feel long, porcelain arms around her or tender kisses. But she had a long way to go to get that freedom tonight.

Regina sighed. The clock said it was past two in the morning. She was behind schedule tonight. Usually, by now, she had reached at least drunk, even if she wasn't ready to pass out. For a moment she considered taking a sleeping pill but she had a fear of mixing medication with alcohol so she decided against it.

Then she heard it. Someone was at the front door. Who could it be at this hour?

She stood and stepped toward her bedroom door when the bell stopped ringing and in its place there was pounding and screaming. It was Emma. She could hear her calling. Pulling on her robe over her pajamas and the sweatshirt, Regina wiped her face free of tears and nearly ran toward the sound of her lover's cries.

"Regina! Regina! Are you here? Come out and talk to me. Regina!"

Flipping on the light, Regina saw Emma, already making her way up the stairs. Pain washed over her as she saw pure, unvarnished love fill green eyes, dancing alongside what could only be relief. This was the moment of truth. Would she be able to stick by her promise to Leo?

"Regina?" Emma stopped midway up the stairs and Regina could already feel the hovering presence of the master of the house and his princess. No doubt they would enjoy this encounter.

"Emma? What are you doing here?" Regina's voice was rough from her previous crying but she tried hard to hide her emotion. She had to distance herself from all she was feeling or she could never get through this.

"What am I… Regina, I've been calling and texting you for over a week. I was worried sick. What's going on?" The tears glistening in her eyes were plain in her voice. Poor Emma. She was innocent… so trusting and Regina was about to destroy her. This was wrong but it was the only way.

 _My darling, please forgive me._

"Well, I would have thought after a week of my ignoring you that you would have taken the hint." Regina lifted her chin and tried to appear unaffected by Emma's pleading face.

"Ignoring me? Regina… what are you talking about? You said… you said you were going to fix everything. What's going on? Is he forcing you—"

 _Look into my eyes, Emma. Please see the truth. I don't want to say these things. I don't want to hurt you, my beautiful girl._

"No one is forcing me to do anything, Miss Swan. I am sorry if you are hurt by this but… what we shared—whatever it was—is over. I'm sorry if you misunderstood—"

"Misunderstood!? Are you fucking crazy? Regina! Don't do this. Whatever he said or did to make you do this… don't! Come with me now and let's run away from here. We don't need them or their money or their power. We have each other. I love you. And you said… you promised." Emma was sobbing now and Regina knew for certain then, the blonde would never forgive her for this. "You said you loved me and we would be ok… together."

 _I do love you, Emma. More than even you realize. I have to keep you safe. Please see… please understand._

Regina felt her knees buckle beneath her. She grabbed the railing to remain upright. She couldn't look at the girl or she would admit she was lying and let the words in her heart spill out. Instead, she gave Emma the only truth she could on this night. "I imagine I've said a great many things in my life that I didn't mean in order to protect myself or the ones I love." _Like I'm doing right now. Lying to protect you._ "Now please, Miss Swan, I must ask you to leave my house and leave me and my family alone."

A cold hand fell on her shoulder, fingers digging painfully into her flesh, reminding her what was at stake lest she give in to those pain filled eyes she loved so much. "Regina? Shall I phone the police?" Leo asked in a condescending voice near her ear.

"No. I don't think that will be necessary. Will it, Emma?" Brown eyes looked at Emma but not really at her at all. Emma was crying full force now and Regina felt something inside her die. She was the cause of all this pain. She was the reason Emma was so broken. Her own selfish need for the girl had brought this on them. How could she ever expect Emma to forgive her when she knew she would never forgive herself?

"Regina… please… why are you doing this? Please don't… don't say you don't love me. Please…" Regina could barely understand the jumbled words interspersed with sobs as Frank bodily removed Emma from the house and shut the door and turned off the lights.

She collapsed on the landing and heard an animalistic cry. Was that coming from inside her? She wailed out her grief, barely aware that the lights had been turned off inside the house too. She could hear Leo giving instructions but the words were meaningless. Frank's arms scooped her up bridal style and carried her into her room, placing her lightly on the bed.

A white hot branding iron burned into her heart, marking her a possession of the demon-man who owned the bed under her. She was one of his belongings, bending to his every whim, just like the furniture, the trinkets, the house itself. And as Emma's tires squealed off into the night, Regina snapped.

Leaping from the bed, her hand closed around the clock on her nightstand and she threw it with all her might at the bedroom door. It was soon followed by her lamp, a book, and the table itself… though it was too heavy to make it very far.

Screaming like a wild thing, untamed and unhinged, she grabbed the blanket and jerked it free of the bed. She pulled at the sheets and pillows and shoved the mattress until it was half on and half off the frame. Storming about the room she over turned anything her petite frame could lift, pulling pictures from the walls and slamming figurines from her shelves. Nothing was safe from her rage.

"That is quite enough." Leo's voice sounded in the dark and she turned toward it, wild eyed and out of control.

" _You bastard!_ " She threw her small frame at the man in her doorway and beat him with her fists. She knew she wasn't hurting him… knew he was unmoved by her display, but still she pounded on his chest and screamed in his face. "I hate you! I despise the very air you breathe! You goddamn monster! I will never forgive you for making me do this. _I will kill you! I will destroy you!"_

"Frank, please contain Mrs. Blanchard. She seems to be quite drunk." For the second time tonight, the arms that had lifted Emma from the stairs lifted Regina up and carried her away. "Mrs. Bullary? Do bring my wife a sedative. I have an early appointment tomorrow and I'd really like to get back to sleep."

Lying in a guestroom bed, the same she'd snuggled under the covers with Emma in, she submitted to taking the pill offered to her. She wanted to stop feeling. She wanted to stop seeing those trusting green eyes full of hurt and confusion. She wanted the sweet release of sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Hello my darlings. The love for the last chapter was overwhelming. I am glad those of you who were ready to join the angry mob at 108 Mifflin have decided to forgive Regina. That was such a pivotal chapter, I'm glad it was well received.**_

 _ **This chapter is also from Regina's POV and covers quite a lot of time in order to let us know what's been going on with her. Unless my muse has other ideas, the next chapter will return to the present and Emma and MM in the cafe.**_

 _ **In case you missed it, this week I posted three very different short fics to twitter. Pop on over and check them out. at LP_EQ_RM**_

* * *

Regina ran a finger along the top of her crystal tumbler. She had taken to sleeping in the guestroom full time now despite the fact that her room had been quickly restored after her _tantrum,_ as Leo had called it. Since that night, she hadn't gotten dressed, she hadn't seen or spoken to anyone other than Amber, who would bring up her meals three times a day and fuss over her refusal to eat.

 _"Regina, please eat something. You will not do yourself nor Miss Emma any good by refusing to eat."_

Amber had said it more than once.

But Regina had merely indicated her glass of amber liquid. She wasn't on a hunger strike. No. She was just on a liquid diet these days. She knew eventually she would have to eat something, perhaps a slice of toast here and there, but today wasn't that day.

Just a few hours ago, Amber had set her lunch tray down and taken her by the arm.

"I know you don't want to, but you are going to have a shower today. And then, you are going to eat this lunch I've made you. And I am going to take _that_ back to the liquor cabinet." The girl pointed to the near-empty bottle of scotch Regina had switched to when the cider had proved ineffective at silencing Emma's voice in her head.

She had showered and washed her face free of the tear tracks that had been making a permanent home there. She knew she stank, though there was a sick comfort in it for her grieved heart. Her normally thick hair had grown limp and oily so she took extra care with it as the hot water loosened her tense muscles and cleared her foggy mind.

Dutifully, and under the watchful eye of her new friend, Regina had eaten a few bites of a hearty vegetable soup and the corner of a grilled cheese sandwich. Washing it all down with a bottle of water, she had submitted to being put into clean pajamas and helped into bed. Though it was still the middle of the day, Amber wisely knew she needed some real rest, not alcohol inspired sleep filled with dreams and crying.

So she had slept. If she had dreamed, she was unaware. Her exhausted body and sorrowful heart had laid in the guestroom bed and slept…

Until she heard her name being called. She had a phone call that sounded rather urgent.

She had jumped from the bed and rushed to the extension in her room. Who could be calling? Was it Emma? Had something happened?

"Hello? This is Regina. Who's—" Her words were cut short by an onslaught of words.

"You know, you are some piece of work lady. Do you have any idea what you have done to Emma? You sorry bitch. You don't even care, do you? Fucking cunt. You don't even deserve to live on the same _planet_ as her. Goddamn you. How can you sleep at night, knowing you broke her heart? Do you even realize the pain you've caused?"

The owner of the voice went on and on, calling her every bitch, whore and worthless piece of garbage she could think of. None of the names were new to Regina. She'd been singing this chorus to herself every night.

So, she said nothing in her own defense. She knew she deserved to hear these things. She was surprised it had taken Emma's friends this long to retaliate. She held the phone to her ear and listened. She deserved this.

"And when I think of her, half dead in that dorm room over you. We had to call a goddamn ambulance! And now, there she is, laying in that hospital bed wondering what _she_ did wrong! I hope whatever sick pleasure you got out of—"

"Hospital? Emma is in the hospital? What… what's wrong with her?" Her heart was raging as her mind settled on that one word. _Hospital._

The caller scoffed. "Oh I dunno, Regina. Maybe she's been starving herself to death over you. The doctor said she was—"

"What hospital?" She demanded.

"I'm not telling you—"

"You will tell me and you will tell me this instant. _What goddamn hospital is she in?!"_ She was nearly yelling.

"Uh… Mercy. She is in Mercy North but she—"

Regina slammed the phone down and dashed to her closet for a coat and shoes. She had to get to Emma. To hell with her contract. She had to get to Emma… right away.

~ (SQ) ~

"What room is Emma Swan in?" Regina stood, shaking like the last leaf of autumn, holding on proudly to its tree home. She couldn't stop crying. Her darling was somewhere in this awful place and it was all her fault. She'd put her here the same as if she had shot her.

"She's in room 312, ma'am but I think she may be sleeping." Regina barely heard the nurse as she headed down the white and sanitized hallway. Ahead of her she saw a young woman she vaguely recognized marching toward her.

 _Ruby Lucas. That's Ruby. Was she the one who called me?_

"What the fuck are you doing here, bitch?"

Yes, it had definitely been Ruby. She recognized the voice and the expletives.

"Get out of my way, Ruby. I want to see her. I want to talk to her doctor or who the hell ever is in charge around here. I want to know what is going on! What are they doing to help her? Get out of my way!" Regina knew she was too loud for a hospital but she didn't care. The girl wouldn't get out of her way.

Ruby pushed Regina back with both hands, making her stumble. "Like hell I will. Now lower your voice. She's finally sleeping and I'll be damned if you are going in there and upset her again."

Regina recoiled in shock from the girl's aggression. Her eyes were filled with anger and loathing. But she couldn't care about that. She needed to see Emma.

"Please… _please_ get out of my way and let me see her. She needs me. She—"

Ruby stepped in front of her again. "No. You are maybe the last thing in this universe she needs. She's in here because of you. It's a miracle they don't put her in the psych ward. What kind of cold-hearted monster are you? You need to leave. You've done enough already."

Regina felt the words in her very bones. _Cold-hearted monster._ That was how she would describe Leo and yet Ruby was using them to describe her. Fresh tears fell down her face. Ruby was right, wasn't she? She had treated Emma like a monster. She had done it for all the right reasons but it had still been wrong. Suddenly, she looked around at the nurses and other visitors gawking at her and she knew she shouldn't be here.

"Just go away, Regina." Ruby turned and headed back toward Emma's room.

Turning back toward the nurse's station and the bank of elevators that would take her down to the lobby, her car and her prison cell, Regina felt the icy fingers of defeat squeeze her heart. This was it, wasn't it? This was how it would be. There was nothing she could do for Emma.

Or was there?

A thought raced through Regina's mind at lightning speed and she stopped in her tracks. There was something she could do.

"I want to speak to Emma Swan's doctor… _immediately."_

"And may I ask who you are to Miss Swan?" The nurse gave her a once over. It was only then that Regina realized how she must look. She was crying, her hair a mess of curls all over her head, in her pajamas and overcoat. She grimaced. She didn't even have on a bra.

"I am her… _caretaker_. The financially responsible party. So if you plan on getting paid for treating her then I suggest you get her doctor here now!" She knew she was yelling. Her arms were flailing about like a madwoman but she didn't care. She was going to do this for Emma.

 _I will take care of you, my darling, even if you never know it._

~ (SQ) ~

"Amber?" Regina was cutting into a grapefruit in the kitchen. The early morning sun was cascading in and casting the room in a cheerful yellow glow.

After speaking to Emma's doctor that night, Regina had made arrangements for her medical bills to be paid from her own private account. Leo may cover her school expenses, but Regina's account filled to the brim with her allowance and the money her father had left her… that would keep the mountain of medical debt from crushing the girl before she ever even got started in life.

It had taken some doing, but she had managed to open an account and a post office box in the name "ESE Medical Fund." If she hadn't been on good terms with the bank president, or if she hadn't had enough money in his bank to make the threat of her pulling it out frightening, she probably wouldn't have been able to set up the fake account. There were perks to being rich.

And so the Emma Swan Emergency Medical Fund had been born.

Regina had seen that night, in her pajamas and losing her mind, as a turning point in her life. It was her Rubicon. She knew she was fully committed now to doing what Leo had asked of her. She knew that it was unlikely Emma would ever enter her life again. But she was too deeply invested now to back out.

She would love Emma… care for Emma… and make life as full and rich for Emma as she could from the shadows. And that would be enough to sustain her. Emma's happiness became her obsession.

But another reality was knocking on her heart's door. She was soon going to be out of the Blanchard house, out of the family and all the things that came along with it, including its wealth. Leo was going to get her started on her own… but then what? What was life going to look like for her then?

"Yes, ma'am?" Amber said as she freshened Regina's coffee.

"Have you ever heard of a woman my age going to college?" Regina took a sip of the hot, black liquid and enjoyed the burning sensation in her throat. There was something so relaxing about her morning cup.

Amber sat aside the coffee pitcher and sat on an empty chair. "Well, not as a rule but sure. Yeah. People go back to school at all ages." The girl smiled, thinking. "I read a story not long ago about a lady… Roberta something. She actually moved into a dorm on campus and completed her degree at ninety! Her great grand-daughter was her roommate! Can you imagine?"

Regina smiled and nodded. She could imagine.

"Do you mind if I ask why you want to know? Are you thinking of going back to school?" Amber stood then and busied herself wiping non-existent crumbs from the table.

"I'm not sure. I… I will be…" She hesitated. She wasn't sure just how much the staff knew about her arrangement with Leo. Amber clearly knew about Emma and that things were not right, but was she aware—were they all aware—of the disgusting details? "I guess it isn't a secret that I am not going to be here much longer. So I thought I'd like to finish my education. I never had that chance before but I see no reason not to now. Maybe I can take some classes online."

Amber tilted her head and studied her unlikely friend. "I think you should. You deserve good things in your life, you know? And I think if you want to go back to school… you should go for it."

It didn't take Regina long to decide. She was going back to school. And maybe… just maybe… she did deserve something good in her life.

~ (SQ) ~

Despite Mary Margaret's withdrawal from Foxhaven to take a semester in Paris, the Blanchard household still received regular updates on events and goings-on at the school. It was annoying at best and at worst it sent Regina into a depressed state, spending more time than usual hiding in her room or out in the woods on Rocinante. Most times, Leo made sure she never saw the notices as they poured in.

She had registered against his wishes for the summer term of a small school nearby. He had allowed it because he knew days on campus meant less days of her moping around the house or crying in her room. He was a heartless bastard. His benevolence in sending her back to school was less about her and mostly about him. Now that the end was in sight, he was ready to be rid of her.

As she had agreed, Regina had played the part of loving wife for public consumption. She'd gone to dinner at the club once a week. She had played a few doubles tennis matches with him and the Smythe's. Last week she had even dressed to the nines and accompanied him to a charity event.

People had been surprised to see her and said as much. She hadn't been his date to anything in years. But she smiled, pandered to the crowd and endured his arm around her waist. Once they returned home she had stood under the scalding spray of her shower until it ran cold. It washed away his scent on her skin but nothing would wash away the ache in her heart.

She missed Emma. If only she could just see her. Just look at her with her own eyes and know she was ok. Was that too much to ask?

As a part of their agreement, Regina had agreed to cut ties for one years. She had been scolded horribly for trying to visit her in the hospital and Leo had threatened to call the whole thing off and send her off penniless and alone. So they had amended the contract. She could not make contact with Emma… but if Emma tried to contact her she would not be penalized.

Regina was shocked Leo allowed that little caveat but it came at a cost. The horse farm would still be hers but the nest egg he promised her was cut in half. She was ok with that. Especially if it meant she may be allowed to see Emma. If only the girl would reach out.

But Regina knew she never would. She had hurt her too deeply. But maybe...

Today, she was bored. Her husband was in Chicago again. He had been brokering a deal—an important one if he was handling it himself—and would be gone for the week. Regina had seen the stack of mail on the table where Mrs. Bullary always placed it for Leo and thumbed through it with little interest. Bills, junk mail, and a postcard announcing the graduating class of Foxhaven Academy.

Regina turned the card over and noted that the graduation ceremony would be this Saturday morning. She smiled. She knew Emma would be graduating and that made her incredibly happy.

Through Graham, Regina had found a secret link to news of Emma. The head mistress was the mother of Graham's partner, August. Small world. She had been helpful after the situation was fully explained by her son. She'd tried to let Regina know about Emma's grades and behavior when she could.

The board of trustees had been ready to expel the girl after her break-down but, true to his promise to see to it that Emma finished school, Leo had called in a favor and gotten her a second chance. Emma had been allowed to return to class with a few stipulations. And now… now she was going to graduate.

Regina tapped the postcard against her lips. An idea was forming. Emma was going to graduate Saturday.

 _And I am going to see it._

~ (SQ) ~

Saturday morning, Regina sat in her black Mercedes, waiting for the right time to go to the courtyard where the graduation would be held. She was dressed in a smart summer suit and had the red silk scarf Emma had given her draped about her shoulders. Large dark sunglasses worked to obscure her appearance. She didn't want to be recognized.

Mrs. Booth had at first resisted the idea that Regina come but had given her consent after an impassioned plea. She'd instructed the younger brunette on the best way to keep a low profile, where to stand to see Emma without being seen and what time to show up. Regina had decided when she met Sophia in person she was going to hug her whether she liked it or not.

She looked at the clock. It was time. The soft strains of Pomp and Circumstance drifted across the lot as she hurried to the side of the crowd and a break in the hedge. It was just as Mrs. Booth had said. She could see everything from obscurity.

As the names were called, she felt emotion swelling in her chest. She was sad. She was happy. She was proud. She was so in love and so afraid it wouldn't matter when all this was over. But Emma's happiness was paramount. Her own meant little to her anymore.

She cringed when Ruby Lucas was called. The girl looked serene and polished as those with money were wont to do. Regina scoffed. Ruby may look posh but she had the vulgar vocabulary of a gutter rat.

When Lily Page was called, Regina's eyes had searched for her cheering section and caught a glimpse of Mal. She looked good. It surprised the brunette how she felt absolutely nothing for the woman. Love had eclipsed her lust and she was glad.

Three separate girls name Madison were called. A Smith, a Stevenson and a Stuart. Regina held her breath. Emma had to be coming up soon. How many more S names could there possible be?

"Emma Swan."

Sophia Moretti Booth called the name a little louder than the others. A small cheer was raised and Regina joined in as the girl stood. From this angle she could only see the back of her head and shoulders as she walked up the aisle toward the stage. Her hair was long down her back beneath her mortar board.

She was beautiful.

When she reached the steps to the platform, she turned and was in full view. Regina gasped when she realized what she was looking at. Emma, thinner than she should be, was wearing the key necklace Regina had given her.

Tears began to race down olive cheeks from under her dark glasses. Emma shook hands with Mrs. Booth and beamed with pride at her accomplishment. As she made her way closer to Regina's hiding place, the woman gasped again.

Showing under the edge of her graduation gown was the white sundress with green flecks Regina had picked out for her. Tears became a torrent and the brunette stifled a sob.

"Is that your daughter?" A man asked, offering her his handkerchief. "My wife has been crying for days over this."

Regina shook her head and accepted his gesture. "No. She's…" _My life. My love. An island of good in a sea of horrors and I will probably never gain her forgiveness._ "She's just a friend. I'm just so proud of her."

The man nodded and turned back as another name was called.

She had remained there until the caps were tossed and families were gathering. She was slipping away when she heard her name called. She froze, terrified. But it was Mrs. Booth.

"Regina?" She called. "I thought it was you. No one else would've been in that spot."

Regina turned to the woman and forced a smile. "Thank you again for helping me. It means so much. But I really better go before anyone sees me."

"I understand." The older woman placed a hand carefully on Regina's arm. "But I'd like to speak to you about Emma. It's important."

After an hour sitting in the woman's office in a deep discussion, it had been settled. The ESE Medical Fund would once again play a role in Emma's life. Mrs. Booth would handle the details but Regina knew it was money well spent if Emma could continue her sessions with Dr. Hopper. By all accounts they were helping the girl not only deal with the loss of Regina but with other, older hurts.

Regina wondered if she too would benefit from seeing a counselor. Yes. She knew she would.

Once back at home, she made an appointment with a therapist of her own. Leo could afford it.

~ (SQ) ~

"Dry martini with two olives, please." Regina ordered her drink and sat on a barstool. It felt good to be in a crowd of strangers tonight. She didn't want to be alone.

So much had changed since she watched Emma graduate high school. Leo had begun the effort to divorce her. The club was abuzz with news that, not only had Mary Margaret run off and gotten herself pregnant and married (in that order), but Regina had taken up with the help. She was having an affair with the stableman.

Leo, just as he had hoped to be, was seen as the long-suffering victim. No one blamed him for bringing his new love, Audrey, to the club instead of his philandering wife. It was so sweet that he'd found love… again. Regina was glad to be free of her duties to him.

He had moved Audrey into the house and, while to outsiders it seemed odd that Regina remained there, she was unaffected. It was no different than the last eight years had been. She and Leo were not even close enough to be called roommates. She didn't care what—or who—took up his time.

The divorce would be final by the end of the year and she would close on her farm the following day. Leo had paid a hefty price to the owner to keep him from selling it until then. Graham had already begun making preparations for his new job. He and August were going to move into a renovated barn on the property. Regina would need them there full time to make it all work. She couldn't pay him as much as Leo had so free housing was an agreeable alternative.

Tonight, Leo and Audrey had driven up to Concord to ask David and Mary Margaret to come home. Regina knew she would have to move out soon. She couldn't endure even one more night under the same roof as the princess. She was sure the girl felt the same. Maybe she could move into Audrey's apartment in town? Leo still held the lease after all.

The bartender placed her drink before her with a smile. "Thank you, Kevin."

Regina was nearing the end of her second semester of college. Returning had been the best thing she had done for herself in a long time. She felt free and empowered. The expansion of her mind was working wonders to strengthen her and eradicate her fears for the future. Seeing Dr. Beckett was helping with that too.

Regina knew that if the fates smiled on her and she and Emma ever did reconcile after all this, they would both be different people. The thought was scary but it was also encouraging. She knew she would be better prepared for a relationship and so would Emma. That could only help them in the long run. If there was a relationship.

Tonight though, she didn't feel very strong. It was Emma's birthday. She had made the trip to O'Malley's as some sort of religious pilgrimage… an awkward celebration of the girl. She'd give anything to see her again. To hear her lilting laughter. Her ears were playing tricks on her. It was almost as if she could hear her now.

 _It can't be._

But it was. As a rowdy pair was ushered out by the bouncer, the view was clear. Across the room with a small group of people at a billiard table was Emma Swan in the flesh.

Regina didn't know what to do. Should she go over? No. That wouldn't work. Maybe she should leave. No. She wasn't going to miss a chance to see her love even if just observing from afar. She decided to stay put and be still. If they were meant to talk… they would.

She watched her for a while. She was smiling and drinking with her friends. A red head seemed particularly interested in Emma, but Regina pushed down her jealousy. If Emma found love with someone else, it was something Regina would have to accept. She had no right to Emma. Love wasn't always enough, especially when the object of your affection didn't have all the puzzle pieces yet.

Regina watched for a while as Emma and her odd quartet of friends played the game and drank more than they probably should. She was certain at least the girl with purple hair was too young to be drinking at all. She shook her head. It was none of her business.

A sadness hit her. How had they come to this? A time when something about Emma was none of her business? And yet… here they were.

Emma was smiling at the red head now and the girl took Emma's cue. Jealousy fought for the surface but again, Regina swallowed it down. The blonde headed toward the restroom. After a time, she reappeared, right across the bar from the brunette. She stared, willing the girl to feel her love, to sense her presence as she talked to the bartender.

Behind her, Regina heard raucous laughter and silently cursed whomever it was. They were interrupting her concentration. And then, suddenly, it happened.

Green eyes focused on her in surprise. Regina didn't blink, didn't look away. She tried to hold her gaze, tried to convey her love with only a look. _Please Emma, see me… really see me and understand._

Kevin stepped between them with a tray of drinks and broke the spell. Emma scurried away. The rejection stung even though she knew she deserved it. Seeing a booth open closer to the billiards, Regina took it. Perhaps she'd have a better view of her love.

She watched Emma trying to play it cool. She took a long drink and was visibly warring with herself over what to do next. All Regina could do was wait. The ball was in Emma's court now.

Though Emma tried hard to appear casual about it, her green eyes kept stealing over to the bar, looking for Regina. The girl glanced again and still did not see her. Regina couldn't help the soft smile that played on her lips. She wanted to kiss that sweet face and never let her go again. But she knew that wasn't going to happen tonight.

At the same moment, Emma's eyes found her and the girl frowned. She spoke to no one in particular and was storming across the room toward her.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Emma was clearly angry and her rage filled Regina with fear, sadness, pain.

"Well? I asked you a question. What the hell are you smiling at? What about the last year makes you think its ok for you to smile at all, let alone _at me?_ " The resonating sound of Emma's hands slamming against the table made Regina jump.

She knew no matter what Emma said or did next, she deserved it.

"Emma… please, if you want to yell and spit and be angry, you should. I deserve anything you wish to say or do. But at least sit down before they throw you out of here and you don't get your chance." Regina gestured toward the empty seat in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" The blonde demanded, taking a seat.

She knew better than to joke, but she wanted to keep this encounter light. She knew if Emma pushed her she would break. "Having a drink. What about you?"

"I… um… I'm celebrating. It's my birthday." Regina was surprised at how easy Emma spoke as if nothing was wrong at all.

 _How well I know my darling. Happy birthday._

"Indeed it is. And who are you celebrating with?" Regina indicated the group watching them.

"Oh, those are… you know, my friends. My roommate is the one with purple hair. She's great." Regina wasn't interested in the roommate. She wanted to know who the red head with eyes for Emma was.

"I'm glad." She said instead. They stared at each other in silence and Regina battled an overwhelming wave of grief. She had lost her, hadn't she? She had really and truly lost her despite her sacrifice. "So… are you in school or…"

Emma nodded. "Yeah. I'm at Tufts. Full scholarship and everything."

Regina swallowed the grief back again. It was clawing at her throat, trying to get out. Instead she allowed, "Wonderful. I'm happy for you, Emma."

"Thanks. So… what about you? Does your husband know you are out drinking and talking to strange women in the city tonight?" Emma spat the words out.

Sadness threatened to drown her but Regina pressed on. "That's fair. I deserve that. No. He doesn't know I'm here. He and Audrey are in Concord tonight visiting with Mary Margaret and David. Leo is going to offer the boy a position in his company in exchange for his moving with the princess back to the house. It's getting quite crowded there. But Leo won't likely take no for an answer. He seldom does." The last bit was little more than a whisper.

"Concord? Is that where all rich and pregnant out of wedlock girls go to die?"

Regina barked out a laugh. She hadn't expected a joke. "It would seem so, wouldn't it? After her time abroad, she and David eloped and moved to a lovely place there. Leo thought it was a good compromise to killing David and hiding Mary Margaret in the attic."

 _You think I'm kidding but you don't know what a monster he is. I had to protect you, Emma. I had to. Please understand._

"So, what did she have?" Emma asked.

Regina reached into her purse. "A boy. David Nolan Jr. Leo hates the name. But he seems absolutely obsessed with the child already. Davy. That's what they call him. He's adorable. Here." She held out her phone and on the screen was a screaming, wrinkled, red baby. "I have never seen him in person. She won't… she won't come to the house if I am there. But Amber snapped this picture and sent it to me."

"Cute kid. So they are moving back to your house?" Emma handed the phone back.

"Well, that is Leo's plan. He wanted them close. God help the little tyke. He doesn't stand a chance." Regina smiled at the screen. She wanted to be a part of the little boy's life but she knew that was just one more thing she would never have.

For a long moment they sat in silence. Regina could feel her confession building behind the ivory prison of her teeth. She wanted to blurt out the truth. She wanted Emma to know. But that would be selfish. It would only complicate things and nothing mattered more than Emma's safety… her happiness.

"So he's with Audrey? Does that mean Mare knows about her now?"

Regina nodded and sipped her drink. "Yes. She knows. Audrey lives at the main house now."

She waited for Emma's shocked response and she wasn't disappointed. "What?!"

"I told you it was getting crowded there." Regina pulled an olive from the pick and chewed it slowly. Perhaps she could divulge a little bit of the truth to Emma. Maybe she could get a feel for how things would work out. She tried to sound casual. "Leo and I are getting a divorce. He sees no need to pretend any longer."

"Divorce?" The way Emma weighed the word, Regina knew it was the wrong thing to say. The blonde spit venom then. "Well then, that will be nice for you. You're gonna be set for life when you get your hands on his money. He must really be pissed at you to part with all that after all these years."

Regina looked at the bartender and tapped her glass, requesting another. She was going to get very drunk tonight. For the first time in months she was going to need to drown out the pain. "It seems that way, doesn't it."

Emma stood then and glanced back to her friends. This was it. As quickly as it had begun, it was over and nothing important had been said. "Well, I wish I could say it was good seeing you, Regina but—"

The words cut deep. Emma wasn't glad to see her. Of course she wasn't. Just because this was a moment Regina had spent dreaming of… a time she would talk to her again, be close enough to see the stormy green of her beautiful eyes… that didn't mean it was something Emma wanted. Of course not.

Grief unvarnished lay exposed in brown eyes. Emma had only to look to see and Regina was too tired to hide it. "It's ok. You don't have to play nice. I certainly haven't played nice with you."

Confusion colored Emma's features and she turned to go.

Unwilling to let the girl leave without some closure, Regina spoke up. "For what it's worth… I _am_ sorry, Emma. For everything that happened."

The blonde just shook her head. "Goodbye, Regina."

Regina felt her heart that she had been so painstakingly stitching back together rip to shreds at the careless dismissal. She bit back a sob. "Goodbye, Emma."

As Emma walked away, a question burned in Regina. If Emma was happy… if she was really happy, then Regina could let her go. It was clear from this stilted conversation that Emma wasn't going to forgive and forget, no matter the reasons. She had hurt her too deeply. But if she was happy… Regina could live with that truth for the rest of her life. She had loved and been loved and Emma was happy. That would be enough.

She called out to her love and the girl stopped, turning back. "Yeah?"

"Are you…" Regina paused and tried to calm her trembling hands. She had to know. She had to. "Are you happy?"

It took Emma only a second to respond and the speed crushed the last light of hope in Regina's heart. "Oh, yeah. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm happy."

As if her body was being controlled by an unseen force, Regina nodded and smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

The last thing she saw before ordering a bottle of scotch and a glass was the red head sliding her arm around Emma's waist.

And Emma leaning into the embrace.

 _Good bye, my darling. I love you so._


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N: Well... here it is. The final chapter. I may post an epilogue as I have somethings rolling around in my mind but I am undecided. So for now, assume this is it. I hope you feel as satisfied by this ending as I did when writing it._**

 ** _I really appreciate all of you who have read, commented and shared this story on social media. It means so much to me. This story was a complete surprise to me as far as it's reception by readers. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me._**

 ** _As always, Jenn, thank you for reading and cheering me on. I also want to thank RottenAppleofEducation for talking with me at great length about this story and the implications of even the smallest actions of the characters. It has been a great pleasure to talk about it all, good and bad._**

 ** _So now... without further ado... the conclusion of Take Me Home Tonight._**

* * *

 ** _April Fool's Day in a small café…_**

"Ok. So let's hear it. What is this great truth?" Emma pushed aside her sandwich. She wasn't hungry anymore.

Mary Margaret checked her sleeping son again and seemed to be deliberately stalling. It wasn't like she was getting some sadistic pleasure out of the delay, but more like she wanted to be sure she said this right. It was too important to mess up.

Emma sighed. She wished she'd never followed that guy on the bike out to the country.

"Have you ever put anyone on a pedestal? Like really, worshipped them until you couldn't see them clearly anymore?" Mare was still looking at little Davy as she spoke.

"Yeah. Sure." Emma thought of Ingrid and other foster moms and teachers she had cast as heroes when really they were humans, flawed and imperfect. Her mind tried to settle on Regina but she resisted. She wasn't ready to think of her as flawed and human. She hurt Emma. She was cruel.

 _And I still love her, so what does that make me?_

"Well, that's how I viewed my father." Mare looked up from her son then. "I suppose after mother died—I was so young—I pinned all my love and affection on him. I idolized him. And when Regina came into the picture… well, it was all pretty set then. Daddy was perfect. Regina was evil. The world was black and white."

"And this is the life altering truth for me… how exactly?" Emma was so done.

"I'm getting there, Emma. This isn't easy for me." The brunette took an overly long drink of water and blew out a long breath. "Since the night I caught you and Regina together, I guess I've started to realize the world has a lot more gray than I had thought. I went home that night and told on her like a spoiled child tattling on a playmate. I didn't consider that I would hurt daddy in any way. I didn't care that I would put you at risk. I was just so angry."

Emma sat back and tried to focus. She'd made great strides in therapy but she still felt overwhelming sadness thinking about what transpired after Mare and the girls from school knocked on the hotel room door. It had been a linchpin moment in all their lives.

"I told daddy everything I had seen and he was not nearly as upset as I had thought he'd be. In hindsight, he sort of looked smug about it. Maybe he thought this was his chance to be rid of Regina forever. I don't know. He was more upset about my pregnancy than her infidelity with a student." Mare laid a hand on her son's stroller. "When Regina finally came home, we were ready."

Emma frowned. "What does that mean?"

Mary Margaret, to her credit, looked ashamed of herself. "We were waiting for her in his office. Daddy was going to confront her and divorce her and leave her penniless. But when she came in, she wasn't afraid. She wasn't like she'd always been. She was bold and something she said made daddy send me away. But I wasn't about to miss the fireworks, so I stood outside the door and tried to listen in."

Emma's curiosity was piqued. "Well, what happened?"

"Basically, I learned my father wasn't perfect like I had always thought. He was having an affair with Audrey. I had been so naive. I didn't know. But Regina knew. And she was ready for a battle. There were times of screaming and times of whispering. But then I heard something slam into the wall by the door. I can't be one hundred percent certain, but I feel pretty confident it was Regina."

Anger rose in Emma. "What!? Did he hurt her? That son of a bitch! I'll—"

"Emma, calm down. I don't know if it was her for sure. I just think it was because the next thing I heard was her begging him to stop. I didn't know how to feel about my daddy in that moment. If he was hurting her… no matter how much I hated her, did I really want to condone my father assaulting her?" Mare closed her eyes, remembering. "I left after that. I was upset by the way I was feeling and what little I had heard."

Emma was trying to piece all this together. "I'm sorry, Mare. I still don't get how it applies to me."

The brunette smiled a sad smile then. "I don't know how exactly it came about, or what my father held over Regina's head to make her agree to it, but she… Regina promised to cut ties with you in exchange for daddy taking care of you."

Emma frowned. "What does that even mean?"

"It means, from what I was able to snoop out and hear from the servants—who hear _everything,_ by the way—daddy helped pay for your college. You got a scholarship but it wasn't enough. He paid the rest. And she paid for your hospital bills and visits with Dr. Hopper. She told all the women at the club she was having an affair with Graham. I might have believed that, even knowing about you, but Emma… I know Graham is gay. Why would she lie and say that she was cheating with Graham? She did it to protect you."

"Protect me from what?" Emma's voice was barely a whisper. She didn't know what to think about first.

Mare shrugged. "I'd guess from my father. He's a very powerful man. Maybe he threatened you in some way. I don't think he would hurt you, nor is he capable of such a thing. If he hurt Regina that night—physically—I am sure she provoked it. But maybe he threatened you in other ways?"

"So, you're saying…" Emma's mind was a whirling dervish of broken bits of information.

"I'm saying, she agreed to stay away from you for one year… that ended in January. I assumed you two were living happily on her farm by now. I had no idea you didn't know that everything that happened was a giant ruse." Davy cried out in his sleep and Mare scooped the boy up, quieting him. "There, there sweet boy. Go back to sleep."

One thought hammered its way forward. "No. This can't be true. Not after the way she was such a stone cold bitch to me that night I showed up at your house. That wasn't an act. She doesn't care about me. She said so herself."

Mare gently bounced the baby in her arms until he was lightly snoring. "Emma, when you left that night, she had an absolute meltdown. She destroyed her room. She screamed until she collapsed. She actually beat my father with her fists. Frank restrained her and Mrs. Bullary had to sedate her. Maybe I'm wrong, but she seemed genuinely upset over hurting you."

Emma's mouth fell open. _That_ sounded more like her Regina. _That_ sounded like someone in love and being ripped apart from her beloved. Emma knew that kind of pain. Another thought pushed its way to the forefront of her mind.

"Ok. Assuming all this is true. Why hasn't she come to me since this was all over? Why didn't she say something the last time I saw her? If she cared about me so much, why hasn't she even tried to contact me in all this time?" Emma felt anger eclipse that momentary joy she felt at believing maybe Regina really did love her after all.

Mare shrugged. "I can't answer that, Em. But it seems to me that someone who would go to such great lengths for you is deeply invested in your happiness."

"My happiness?" Emma said, her eyes looking into the distance, or perhaps the past.

 _"Emma?" Regina called._

 _"Yeah?" Emma turned back to her._

 _"Are you… are you happy?" Her voice was so hesitant, her eyes glazed with tears._

 _"Oh yeah. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm happy." Emma bit back, angry at being asked about her happiness._

"Oh my god." Emma dropped her head into her hands.

Mare looked confused. "What? What is it?"

Emma couldn't stop the tears filling her eyes as realization dawned on her. "I saw her on my birthday in a bar and she… Jesus, she asked me if I was happy and I was so pissed at her I lied and said I was the happiest I'd ever been. What if? What if she was going to tell me? What if she thought I was happy without her? Oh my god."

Mare placed her free hand on Emma's arm, the other still smoothing over Davy's small back. "Oh, Emma. But it isn't too late. You can still go to her."

The blonde released a bark of disgusted laughter. "No, I can't. I'm so confused. I thought I knew what was going on and this just… messed everything up. Now I'm no better off than I was that night. I still don't understand. I've gotta go."

Emma stood then and started toward the door. Mare stood and followed. "Emma, wait. Please. We can talk about this some more. Maybe I can help you sort it out."

Mary Margaret's words were pointless. The blonde was jogging to her car and driving away. The brunette nuzzled her son and hoped she hadn't made things harder for Emma. She was only trying to help.

~ (SQ) ~

Emma drove her car back toward the city. She had cried the first few miles but then a sort of numbness had invaded her. Mary Margaret had dropped so many lose threads in her lap today. None of it was complete. None of it made sense. And there was only one person who could answer her questions.

 _Regina._

But what was she supposed to do? Drive up to the door of Honey Crisp Farm and demand an explanation? Beat the door down and yell and scream and cry and whatever other emotion surfaced in order to get some closure for this gaping ache in her chest?

Yes. That was exactly what she was going to do.

She turned around at the next intersection and sped toward the farm. She wasn't going to spend another moment in the dark. She needed answers and she needed them now.

The closer she came to her unexpected destination, the more she began to doubt this course of action. What if Mare was wrong? What if this wasn't even Regina's home? She was assuming. What if Regina didn't want to see her at all and that was why she hadn't tried to contact her?

Emma pulled the bug off the road at the driveway to the old farm house. It wasn't too late. She could just keep driving. She didn't have to do this.

She looked up at the house and swallowed the acid in her throat. She felt like she might throw up. She felt like she might faint. She felt like she should just cut her loses and go back to her life in Boston and forget she ever saw Regina Mills Blanchard.

Instead, she turned the bug up the drive and headed toward her destiny… for better or for worse. She was going to get some answers. Today.

She pulled her car right in front of the house and got out. Marching confidently up the steps to the big white door, she rapped on it with her knuckles. Then she waited.

She had no idea what she was going to say. She didn't know what would happen when she saw Regina again. Her heart was an acrobat in her chest, her ribcage it's playground. Her lungs were not filling properly with each shallow breath but she pressed on. Again, she beat on the door with her fist.

"I'm coming! What the hell is so important that you—"

The words died on Regina's lips as she pulled open the door and saw Emma standing there, on her porch, fist raised in the air mid-knock.

"Emma?" She spoke the name with such reverence, the porch became an altar and the word a prayer. "What are you doing here?" She recovered enough to ask.

The blonde pushed past Regina and into her home. It was very much a work in progress. A room to the right was closed off with an opaque plastic tarp. Tools and boards and sheetrock leaning here and there making it apparent Regina was updating the place a room at a time.

To the left was a living room. It was already complete and looked comfortable… lived in. There were several paintings leaning against the walls in different places. Perhaps Regina hadn't gotten around to hanging them or maybe she hadn't decided yet if this was each one's permanent home.

Emma's eyes looked past Regina down the hall of the foyer they were in. There were several other rooms along the hall and a kitchen was visible at the end. A beautiful ornate bannister led up a staircase to places Emma couldn't see. It was a nice house. Nowhere near like the estate she had once lived but nice. It needed some TLC but it was going to be wonderful when it was done.

For a moment, Emma felt like the house. She had some issues she needed worked on, and she was taking it all a room at a time, but she was getting into a better place. She would be great again and ready for new life. And Regina was inside her, influencing and making her without even trying. That was what most made her like the old house.

"So, this is where you live now." Emma spoke for the first time. Regina had shut the door and had been leaning against it, allowing Emma to look around undisturbed.

"Yes. I live here and I… I teach riding lessons and board horses. And I paint a little." Regina felt foolish saying these things to Emma as if they had only just spoken last week and there was no wide chasm between them.

Emma nodded, walking into the living room. She gestured toward a very good portrait of Rocinante eating an apple from under a tree. "Did you do this one?"

Regina smiled, clearly proud of her work. "Yes. I… I've been taking some art classes. I went back to school, Emma."

The girl turned and looked at Regina now. "Really? That's great, Regina." She wanted to be angry and ask a million and one questions but being here in this place that looked and smelled and felt like Regina made her forget the words.

They stood for a time, just looking at each other before Emma looked back at the painting leaning against the wall. "Why haven't you hung it yet?"

Regina stepped beside her and picked up the painting. She held it in the blank space along the wall. "I don't know, really. It's been leaning here for weeks now. I just… can't seem to hang it up. I keep feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen so I know this is where it belongs but, so far I just keep picking it up like this and thinking it isn't time."

She sat the painting down and walked over to another. It was of a young girl leading a horse, dark hair braided down her back. "My daddy painted this one. It's me when I was small."

Emma stepped closer and touched the canvas with care. "He was very talented."

"Yes. He was. I'm not quite as good but I hope to be. I…" Regina hesitated. "I have an art studio down the hall. Would you like to see it?"

This was the most surreal moment of Emma's life. Here, in Regina's home, talking like nothing was wrong. She nodded her agreement and Regina led her away.

"This house was in horrible disrepair when I arrived. But I've been trying to fix it a little at a time. I sort of relate to it in a way. I need some fixing myself." Regina smiled as she stopped in front of a closed door. Emma's heart leapt at the words she had so recently thought about herself. "Here we are. The light in here is incredible in the morning."

Emma stepped into a room that was far less organized and meticulous in comparison to the living room she'd just left. This was an artist's room. There were canvases leaning here and there, paint and supplies on a table. Brushes drying by a sink. Several paintings stood finished and it was clear as Emma browsed through them that each was an improvement on the last as Regina's natural skill emerged and was perfected.

"I have sold one of them." Regina beamed. "I was setting up a deal with a feed provider and he saw it. It's hanging in his office. So I added 'equestrian art' to the shingle out front."

Emma nodded, recalling the words she'd seen… was that just today? An easel to her left caught her eye. It was draped in a sheet. She stepped toward it, reaching a hand to the corner of the sheet.

"That's a work in progress. It's not ready for viewing." Regina didn't physically stop her, but her words seemed a plea for her to stop, so she did.

Again they stood in silence, just looking at each other. "You have a really nice home, Regina."

"Thank you." Regina whispered. After a beat, she added, "Why are you here, Emma?"

The blonde shrugged. "I saw Mary Margaret in town today. She wanted me to ask you if you would be willing to meet with her. She wanted to apologize for wrecking your life. And she definitely wants you to meet the kid. He's really a lot cuter than the picture you showed me."

Regina frowned at the answer. "Ooookay. But how did you know where to find me?"

Emma bristled. "I get it, Regina. You don't want me here. Whatever. I just… I wanted… I dunno what I wanted anymore. But… I'll go. I shouldn't have come here."

"Emma, wait. I didn't mean—"

"What? You didn't mean to tell me you loved me only to decide that you didn't later? Or you didn't mean to hurt me by throwing me out on my ass that night? Or you didn't mean anything by asking me why the hell I'm in your house now? Tell me Regina, just what _did_ you mean in all this time?" So much for the pleasantries. Emma felt her anger burst forth.

"That isn't fair. You have no idea what I—" Regina tried again.

"You're right. I have no idea what you did or why. You didn't bother to tell me. I had to hear some half-assed version from the last person I ever thought I'd hear defending you. That's the problem. I've been half dead and out of my mind over you because I have no idea what the fuck is going on." Emma slammed her hands down on the work bench. Brushes and bottles clinked and some fell to the ground. The blonde turned toward the window.

"Emma…. Please. Let me explain." Regina's voice made it clear she was crying.

"Yes. Please do explain because I am so confused and upset right now I don't know if I want to kiss you or kill you. Did you really pay for my hospital bills? Ruby said you came there. Why didn't you talk to me?" Emma's brain was a bee hive of questions, each dripping with its own honey—sadness, joy, relief, anger. "Why the fuck didn't you come for me when your little scheme was over? You got your money and your house and just forgot about me, didn't you? Did you decide you didn't love me so much after all? Was it so easy to just ease your guilt by throwing money at me and then walking away?"

Emma was raging and wild. Dr. Hopper would probably be proud of her for speaking her mind and disappointed in her for using her words to hurt someone else. But she didn't care. She was coming apart at the seams. She didn't know how to feel anymore.

Apparently her words had hit Regina harder than she intended and mournful tears became angry ones. "How damn dare you?! Did I forget you? No Emma, I didn't forget you. Everything I've done since the moment I knew I was in love with you has been for you. Until I started seeing a therapist and going to school, I was unhealthily focused, _obsessed_ with seeing to it you were happy. I wasn't throwing money at you, I was trying to protect you… to take care of you. And you looked happy enough with your little red head at O'Malley's that night. Did you move on so quickly? Because I haven't."

Regina reached out a hand then and for a moment, Emma wondered if she would strike her. Instead, her hand gripped the sheet over the secreted easel. She jerked hard and exposed the unfinished work. Emma gasped. It was the most lifelike likeness of herself she had ever seen. Even a photograph wasn't as much her as this painting.

"I've never, not even for one second, not been thinking of you, Emma." Regina's anger was ebbing and in its place raw, broken pain. "You're the first thing on my mind every morning, you fill my dreams at night. I would never— _could never_ —just walk away from you. And it kills me that you'd ever believe otherwise."

Emma stared dumbfounded. Her eyes drifted from the painting—the haunting sadness in the eyes so like her own, the quirk of her lips in an almost smile—to Regina and back again.

"Regina… I…" Emma shook her head, trying to make sense of it all. "Please tell me what happened. Help me understand. I'm so confused."

Regina took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Emma stood transfixed, taking in every detail of the painting and all that it seemed to mean. She looked at Regina and the woman was watching her intently.

"Would you like a drink? I sure as hell need one." Regina turned and walked from the room back toward the living room.

Emma followed without a word. She wanted answers, and she was willing to let Regina give them in her own good time. The brunette poured them both an amber liquid in classic glass tumblers, holding one out to the blonde.

They sat on opposite ends of the deep sofa and stared at the fireplace. It was cold and distant without a fire burning in it. Regina seemed to feel uncomfortable with the idea and stood, flipping a switch. The fire roared to life.

"I had gas logs installed first thing. I didn't want to have to deal with chopping wood. Graham—he and August live here in a converted barn space—anyway, he said he would chop wood for me but I opted for the gas. It isn't the same but… I like it." Regina sat again, sipping her drink.

Emma took a sip too. The liquid was sweet and fruity. "What is this? Hard cider?"

Regina nodded. "Yes. I thought you liked it since you bought some that night… your birthday."

Memories flooded in. She had indeed bought a few ciders for her friends just before she'd seen the other woman. "It's good. I just wasn't expecting it, I guess."

They sat a moment before Regina began. "You deserve all the details and perhaps there will be a day when I will feel up to telling you. But for now, what you need to know is that an ultimatum was laid at my feet the night I left Boston to ask Leo for a divorce. Basically, I could break ties with you for one year and play dutiful wife to him and be given enough money to take care of myself and you until you finished school and we could establish a life here on the farm… or he would destroy you. I had no reason to doubt him." Regina's hand came up subconsciously to her throat. "He made a pretty compelling case for all the ways he would make you suffer just to hurt me. He even suggested he might…" Tears spilled down Regina's face. "He said he'd kill you. And I believed him."

Emma was shell shocked. "But Regina… you should've told me. We could've—"

"Maybe I should've. Maybe we could've. But it wasn't worth the risk, my darling. I would rather see you emotionally hurt temporarily than to see you dead. There was no other choice. At least, I couldn't see one. I was so terrified he would follow through on his threats that I wouldn't even text you on our secret phones. Maybe it was irrational fear, but I was sure he would know and I would've killed you… or at the very least ruined your future. He was going to see to it that no school would ever—"

"I didn't care about school, Regina. I cared about you. I would wait tables the rest of my life to be with you. You… you should've told me." Emma couldn't comprehend that a man would be willing to kill her for sleeping with a wife he didn't even want.

Regina sighed into her drink. "But I didn't tell you. I did, however, try my best to take care of you from afar." A whimsical smile crossed her face. "I kept up with your grades and I did, as you've been told, pay for your expenses. You got in to school on your own and you did win a hefty scholarship. But I made sure there was more than enough so you could focus on school and not worry about money. I came to your graduation—"

"You did?" Emma's eyes were full of wonder.

"Yes. You were so thin but you looked beautiful and I was so proud. I cheered and cheered when they called your name. You were wearing the sundress… and the necklace I gave you." Regina lifted her dark eyes to meet Emma's.

"You really did come." Emma was still in shock. All this information was overwhelming her mind.

"I really did. I wouldn't have missed it for the world, Emma." Regina carefully placed a hand on the cushion between them, palm up. It was an offer if Emma was willing to take it.

The blonde eyed the hand and longed to take it. She wanted to just forget this all happened and dive head long into life with Regina. But she couldn't. Not until she had some answers she needed.

"But why haven't you come for me? Why haven't you called me or reached out at all since this whole fiasco was over?" Emma felt wetness on her cheeks. Was she crying?

Regina withdrew the rejected hand and stared at her shoes. "When I saw you that night at O'Malley's… you were so angry and I knew you had every right to be. But I still hoped you'd understand, that you'd forgive me. But more than anything, I was ready to let you go and let you live your life if only I could believe you were really, truly happy without me. I didn't want to. I wanted to take you in my arms and run away from this place. But that would be selfish. You aren't a possession. You are your own unique, beautiful person. I wanted you to want to live life alongside me. It took me a long time to figure this out but… I want to be Regina and I want you to be Emma and I wanted us to be Regina and Emma together, living and loving and enjoying life. I didn't want it to be selfish or ownership. I've been there, done that. I was miserable."

Regina took a breath and Emma waited. "I love you, Emma. And all I want now is all I wanted then. I want you to be whole and happy and if that includes me then I'm over the moon about it. But if it doesn't include me… I just want you to be happy. And that night, you looked me in the eye and said you were happy. Happier than you had been in a long time. And I believed you. Then you walked out of there with that _girl's_ arm around your waist and I had to honor that happiness. So… right or wrong… I let you go."

Emma felt warmth in her tummy at the obvious jealousy in Regina's tone as she spoke of Cam. "First of all, there is nothing between me and that girl. I was just trying to make you hurt like I was hurting. So don't be jealous."

Regina opened her mouth to deny it but stopped herself and shrugged. She knew she was jealous. No sense in denying it.

"Second of all, I was not happy that night. I was miserable. And angry. But I lied because I couldn't understand what right you had to ask about my happiness when it seemed from where I was sitting it was your personal mission to destroy my happiness." Emma tilted her head to the side, trying to catch Regina's eyes.

"I guess we have made a big mess, haven't we?" Regina said, finally looking at the younger woman.

"Yeah. We have. And I for one need some time to process. So," Emma sat the nearly still full tumbler down on the coffee table and stood. "I think I should go."

"Go?" Regina leapt up. "But… I thought—"

"I'm not saying goodbye forever, Regina. I just need some time. This is a lot to take in. And I need you to stop paying Dr. Hopper. I can pay my own way." Emma made to leave the room.

"I most certainly will not. You can't afford therapy and school and an apartment and a car. No. I will accept that you need time but you cannot ask me to stop taking care of you." Regina followed her to the door.

"Regina…" Emma pleaded.

"No, Emma. I have more money than I can ever spend. I won't have you starting life in debt just to prove a point. Please, let me do this for you." Regina saw hesitation still in green eyes. "If, after some time to think, you still want me to stop, I will. But don't make a permanent decision while you are temporarily upset. I believe in us, darling. I believe we will be together again, especially now that I know you know the truth. So, don't give up on us yet. Take your time to think, but then, come home to me."

 _Home._

The word echoed through Emma. Was it so short a time ago that she had called Regina's heart her home.

"Goodbye, Regina." Emma said, opening the door.

Regina stepped out on the porch behind her. "No, not goodbye. I'll see you later, Emma."

~ (SQ) ~

It had been nearly a month since Emma had shown up on her doorstep. Regina had tried to keep busy with school and working on the house and tending to her horses. She had finally hung the painting of herself as a girl in the hall but the other of Rocinante was still leaning against the wall, waiting.

If she thought really hard about it, she would know that the painting represented more than paint and canvas. It was on hold, like her life was on hold, waiting for Emma. But she didn't let those sorts of thoughts in. She knew love would win. Emma would come back and then they would hang the painting together.

She'd received an odd invitation in the mail yesterday. August had made his usual run to the post office and in amongst the bills and thank you notes from happy horse owners and students was a small printed invitation. O'Malley's was having a celebration of some sort, it wasn't really clear, an anniversary of some kind, but since she'd been a friend of the pub for so many years, she was expected.

She had almost decided not to go, but Graham had intervened. "You should go. You've been cooped up here with these horses and all this construction for months. Go on. Have a drink. Make some friends. Maybe we will come too."

So, tonight, she was dressed in a favorite red dress and heels. Her hair and make-up were perfect. She felt pretty. It had been a long time since she had worn anything other than riding breeches or jeans, so this was a nice change. She'd called a car to take her so she wouldn't feel like she couldn't enjoy a drink or two.

There was a honk from out front. The car was here and Regina was on her way into the city. Her thoughts, as always, went to Emma. She'd first met the girl on a night like this. Just out, alone in the city. Maybe she would be at the celebration too. Her heart rate quickened at the thought.

 _Don't get your hopes up, Regina._

She slipped into the crowd and made her way to the circular bar. A seat opened up and she sat down with a sigh. It was good to be around people. She had always loved to be in a crowd, even if she didn't know anyone. She flagged down the bartender.

"Regina! So glad you could make it out tonight. What can I get you?"

"I'm glad I could come too, Kevin. The place certainly is packed tonight. I'll have—"

"Two martinis, dry with two olives." A voice spoke from over her right shoulder. It couldn't be…

"Hi." Emma said with a smile. "I wondered if you'd be here tonight."

Regina couldn't breathe. The blonde was wearing that damn red leather jacket and jeans and it made the brunette's body respond instantly. "Hello, Emma."

The younger woman spoke to the man sitting beside Regina and in a moment, he stood giving her his place. "Is this seat taken?" Emma asked, biting her lip.

"It is now." Regina smirked. Kevin sat the two martinis down on the bar and buzzed away as fast as he had come.

They both sat in silence, just sipping their drinks and looking around the crowded room.

"It's very crowded—"

"Big turn out tonight—"

They spoke over each other and laughed at themselves.

"You go ahead." Regina said, crossing her leg toward Emma. She couldn't be imagining the way green eyes traced up from her stilettos to her hemline, could she?

"I was just gonna say it's a big turn out tonight." Emma bit into one of the olives in her drink. "You look really good tonight." Green eyes glanced up into brown.

Regina felt color flood her cheeks. "Thank you. You look quite nice as well."

Emma grinned and looked away. "Are you here alone?"

"Yes," Regina said. "Graham said I had to get out of the house before I turned into a bona-fide hermit. He thinks my art is making me a recluse. Are you… here alone?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah. I heard they were having this anniversary thing so I figured I'd come out and see what all the fuss was about."

Again they were quiet. Regina wanted to ask her if she had finished thinking things through yet, but she knew better. Emma needed space and she was going to give it to her. This was too important to mess up.

"So, how are things at the farm?" Emma asked amiably.

Regina plucked an olive from its spear with her perfect teeth. "Good. I started working on some of the upstairs rooms. But the kitchen and the bathrooms… well, I'm meeting a contractor next week. I can't tackle all that myself."

"That sounds great, Regina. I'm really proud of you. For going to school and for the farm. Really… I'm proud of you." Emma's eyes were so warm that Regina barely noticed the warm hand on her thigh.

"It really isn't that much, I guess. I just keep plowing ahead with my plans. But they… they feel sort of hollow without you there." She hadn't wanted to get into this. She was giving Emma time. But she couldn't stop the words. "Have you thought about things? Are you… will you ever be ready to move forward with… us?"

In answer, Emma leaned into the brunette and let her lips brush gently on the tender place on her neck below her ear. Regina gasped at the contact but made no move to pull away.

"Yes, I've thought about it. And just a moment ago I realized what it is I want, although I guess I've always known." The blonde whispered softly into her ear.

Regina felt her heart leap into her throat and a coiling heat begin at the apex of her thighs as the hot breath moved across her skin. "Oh? And what did you decide?"

Emma squeezed Regina's thigh lightly. "The first thing you should know, babe, is that when a woman puts her hand on your thigh, she's interested."

Regina closed her eyes at the words she'd spoken to Emma so long ago in this very bar. "And what is the second thing I should know, darling?"

Emma leaned back and looked Regina in the eyes. For a moment, pure, unadulterated love poured out of her and the brunette soaked it up like drought ravaged ground in a rainstorm.

"The second thing is, I don't know what tomorrow looks like, or the next day, or the next week or month or year… but I know I want to face them all with you. I want to stay in school and I want you to do the same. And I think it might be good if we keep up our therapy individually and maybe together, I dunno." Emma waited to see if Regina was willing.

Regina nodded fervently, "Yes, to all that. I'm willing to try until we figure it all out."

The blonde nodded her agreement. "Well, then. We know how things will go for us tomorrow. We will face it all… together."

She leaned into Regina again. This time she planted a firm and deliberate kiss to her sensitive neck.

"But that's tomorrow."

"Uh huh," Regina husked out. Her body was yearning, longing for more of Emma.

"So… why don't you take me home tonight?"

Regina was breathless. "Emma, would you like to come home with me? There's a lovely view from our bedroom. I think you'd quite like it."

Emma stood and pulled the other woman from her seat. "If it's anything like the view I have now, then I know we will both enjoy it. Let's go home."


	14. Chapter 14

**_As promised... the epilogue. I hope it brings you some closure and answers some questions many have asked._**

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"Emma…" Regina whined, her hands pulling the blonde back into bed.

"Baby, we have to go or we are going to be late." Emma giggled as she half-heartedly tried to fight off her advances.

"We won't be late if you stop resisting. You know I'm going to win." Regina pulled her further back, kissing along her bare shoulder.

Emma glanced at the clock on the nightstand. They really were in danger of being late. "Gina, please. We have to be there on time."

A warm tongue lapped against her neck and a husky voice whispered, "Please, Emma…"

The blonde fell back at the sound with a groan and forgot time altogether. She never was very good at denying Regina what she wanted… especially when what she wanted was to make Emma's body sing with pleasure.

"Ok, but we have to hurry." Emma said between kisses, as Regina positioned herself above her.

Regina merely nodded and silenced any further protests with a searing kiss and a downward press of her hips. Oh, how she could make Emma's body sing.

~ (SQ) ~

The drive into Boston was a quiet one, both women deep in thought. Emma gripped the steering wheel of their new SUV a little more tightly than was strictly necessary, allowing her mind to wander over the last few years. It had been a wild ride… but it had been worth it. So many changes, but all for the better.

Like this car, for instance. She hadn't wanted to retire the bug, but it had been a necessary evil for many reasons. When she had graduated college and started work as a social worker, the bug had been fine. No complaints from anyone even though it wasn't very professional. But some life changes were bigger than others.

So the bug had been retired. Not sold. Just parked alongside Regina's black Mercedes in the garage, only brought out for special occasions now. But it was totally worth it.

She glanced over at Regina and smiled. She was so proud of her. She had completed her degree more than two years before Emma and was putting it to good use. Her art was selling well and the farm was an unwavering success. They had added an apple orchard to the south field last year and it was coming along nicely under Regina's watchful eyes.

Life was good.

Regina laid her hand on Emma's thigh and squeezed. "Are you alright, darling?"

Emma hummed the affirmative. "Couldn't be better. Are you?"

The brunette was quiet for a moment, contemplative. "Yes. I admit I am nervous but I think we are making the right decision."

Emma nodded and for the rest of the drive, they were quiet, Regina's warm hand still atop Emma's thigh.

~ (SQ) ~

The outer office they were sitting in was nothing special. Regina glanced around and thought of all the ways she would change it to make it warmer, friendlier. For the sort of things that usually happened here, it would seem reasonable for the office to feel happier than the people who passed through it. Cheerful décor might help lift their spirits.

She sighed. They had not been late, as Emma had worried they would be. In fact, they were early and his flight was late. That was the reason for the prolonged wait. The brunette slipped her hand into Emma's and felt a gentle squeeze in response.

She knew Emma. Knew her in a way she didn't even know herself. And she knew that Emma was nervous, excited and a little frightened by the next phase of their lives together.

After that night, when Emma had asked her to take her home, things hadn't just magically gotten better. It had taken time, and work, to get to the place they were today. But it had been worth it. Regina could say with honesty she had never been more in love with Emma than at this moment.

"Would either of you like a water or coffee while you wait? I may be able to round up a soda if you like." A young woman with short dark hair stuck her head in the door.

"No, thank you. I think we are good." Emma said with a smile.

Regina nodded her agreement.

The girl smiled warmly and closed the door.

"She reminds me of Mare." Emma wiggled in her seat, unhappy to be sitting so long but unwilling to pace the floor.

"I thought so too." Regina said easing her fingers under the back of Emma's blonde locks, scratching her fingernails gently at the base of her skull, soothing her.

Regina hadn't expected to ever have Mary Margaret in her life again after she divorced Leo but life was strange. Once the younger brunette had begun to see her father in a new light, she had seen her former step-mother in a new light too. It had been rocky at first, and still Regina wasn't ready to just forget the past, but they had come to an understanding.

Davy was the best part of it all. Regina loved the boy to distraction and he was crazy about his Auntie Gina. The love of a child was worth a lot of heartache, at least that was what Emma would say. So, if for no other reason than for Davy, they had all long ago buried the hatchet and moved on.

Emma rubbed her hands on her pant legs. Regina wrinkled her nose realizing how Emma's nerves must be making her hands sweat. "Darling, relax. Everything will be fine."

"I know," Emma said, standing now and walking over to the window. "I'm just… so emotional about all this. I'm happy. And scared. And nervous. I just—"

Regina stood and pulled the woman to her. "I know. I am too. But I love you more than anything in this world… or any other. And I want this. We want this. Right?"

Brown eyes searched green for confirmation. "Yeah. We do."

They sat again and waited. It wouldn't be much longer now.

~ (SQ) ~

Emma tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and her nostrils filled with the scent of office furniture, paper work, stale coffee and Regina. That last note stayed with her the longest. There was something about the brunette that relaxed her, so she took another deep inhale, seeking out her scent in the air.

Albert Spencer had called a few moments ago to apologize for the delay. He was on his way and then… then everything would be legal and binding and permanent. Emma's heart raced at the thought. Forever was still a scary word for a former foster kid with no family of her own.

 _You have a family now, Emma._

She looked to her right at Regina, flipping slowly through a far out of date interior design magazine. She held up a page with an awful mauve living space and wrinkled her nose. "He needs to update these."

Emma smiled and nodded her agreement. Albert Spencer had become more of a part of their lives than she had ever dreamed. When his wife, Bitsy, had passed away about two years ago, Cora had been there to console her dear friend. And no one was surprised when they had married less than six months later. They were a good match though.

Emma couldn't be angry at anything either of them did or had done in the past because of one thing they got right. Leo Blanchard.

For reasons that they had never questioned, once Cora had the security and power of the Spencer name (and wealth) to back her, the woman had unleashed an all-out attack on her former son-in-law. Regina refused to believe it was because her mother actually did love her and was trying to make up for years of proving the opposite, but Emma liked to think that was it in a nutshell.

Cora loved her child and she wanted to do right by her. That was the only explanation that made sense. So, the older Mills had taken after Leo like a dog with a bone. And it hadn't taken long for her to hit pay-dirt.

Emma smiled remembering the day barely 9 months ago when a special unit from the IRS in conjunction with the FBI had raided the offices of Blanchard Enterprises Inc. and taken control. Leo had taken a plea bargain and was now serving his first month of a fifteen year sentence for fraud, tax evasion and embezzlement.

Poor guy.

Mary Margaret and David had moved back into the house with his mother but neither of them were complaining. Domesticity, simple and unvarnished, was something no one had dreamed would appeal to the once spoiled and pampered Mare. But it fit her like a glove.

"What are you grinning about?" Regina said, kissing Emma on her cheek.

The blonde just grinned wider. "Wouldn't you like to know? Have you always been this nosey, Mrs. Swan-Mills or is this a new development?"

Regina giggled and snuggled as close to Emma as the waiting room chairs would allow. "What can I say? I like knowing what puts a smile on my wife's face."

"Well, I can assure you, nothing and no one puts more of a smile on my face than you, babe." Emma looked down into chocolate eyes peering up at her. "I love you, Regina."

"And I love you, Emma." Regina said, tilting her chin up to connect their lips in a soft kiss. "Who would have thought six years ago that we would ever be here?"

Emma laughed. "Well, definitely not me."

Regina's reply was interrupted by the opening of the door. Albert stepped in the room with an abnormally bright smile on his face.

"Well, my dear girls. I apologize for the wait but our flight was delayed. Nevertheless…" The man stepped fully into the room now, allowing his assistant to come in, the carrier in her hand swinging into view. "Are you ready to meet your son?"

In a moment, both Emma and Regina were on their feet and across the small space. They peered into the carrier at the red, wrinkled newborn, wrapped tightly in a warm blanket. A soft tendril of dark brown hair stuck to his forehead from beneath the little knit cap he was wearing.

Emma stared in awe. This was her son. She reached out a shaking finger and caressed his cheek lightly. "Hey, kid."

Regina couldn't stifle a sob as she knelt down by the carrier on the floor, caring nothing for what other people might think. She pulled back the blanket and inspected his small body, her hand on his round belly. She was breathless. "Hello, Henry."

She carefully lifted him from the carrier, pulling him close to her chest. Henry grunted and jerked a bit in protest before snuggling into her soft breasts, rooting and nuzzling against her. Regina smiled up at Emma and the blonde kissed the baby gently on his cheek before kissing her wife just as softly.

They shared a secret smile, full of love and promise. "Our son." Emma whispered, allowing his tiny hand to make a fist around her index finger. "Our beautiful, perfect son."

"Well," Albert said, clearing his throat. "I will leave you three alone for a few moments and when you are ready there are still a few papers to sign and then… you can take your boy home."

Regina looked into tear filled green eyes and smiled. "Home."

Emma nodded. "Yeah. Let's take our son home."


End file.
